Once upon a time, an otaku wanted to pay tribute to the greatest Manga artist of all time. So he sat down and wrote a fanfic. He eventually got the balls to share it with the world. So sit back, relax and enjoy this fic. Remember, this isn't the original, this is just a tribute. (I got the idea from a song by Tenacious D)

"Ha! Pops is gonna be pissed!" Ranma said as he boarded the plane in Beijing. He flashed his passport and proceeded onto the flight to Osaka. "Gee, I hope they're at least female this time. Uuhg, trying to marry me off to Ukyo. I'm pretty sure Ukyo'd be grossed out by the idea too. He was my best friend. Dad and his stupid stomach," Ranma thought as he settled in for the flight.

Meanwhile, fighting the crowds in the Beijing subway, Genma made his way to the western railway station (or at least he tried, his Japanese cusswords and threats did nothing to ease the crowd). "Stupid boy," Genma thought, "He could have at least bought me a ticket too." He fought his way out of the subway and into the railroad station. "Or a translation book," Genma complained, getting looks from his use of a foreign language. Genma made his way to a ticket counter and told the woman "Tianjin". The woman understood what he meant and asked for one hundred-twenty seven Yuan in her native Chinese. Genma asked "Nani?" The woman repeated herself. Genma shrugged. The woman repeated herself again, much louder and brandishing a ten Yuan bill. "Oh," Genma gave her three hundred Yuan. The woman gave Genma a ticket and change minus twenty Yuan, which she pocketed for herself for having to deal with him. Genma took the ticket and change, saying "Baka". The attendant gave Genma the middle finger.  Not knowing what it meant, Genma made his way to the train.

Ranma thought as his plane passed over Korea. "Good thing, Jusenkyo wasn't there. Koreans would have thrown us out long ago." Ranma had been in China for the last seven years. In that time Ranma had gone to school, got work and learned both Cantonese and Mandarin Chinese. All of this was against his father's wishes. Ranma wanted and needed money. It was fine if Pops wanted to steal and sleep in the streets. Ranma on the other hand, wanted to lead an honest life with his dignity intact. Ranma wanted to be able to hold his head high in both Japanese and Chinese societies. Ranma had been a Chinese as well as Japanese citizen for three years now. Ranma thumbed through his empty Chinese passport and called for a stewardess.

"Yes sir, how may I help you?" The JAL stewardess asked.

"I was wondering if customs would stamp my Chinese passport. I'm a Japanese citizen, but it is my first time home being Chinese and all," Ranma replied.

"Hmm, this is a new one for me," the stewardess said, "As long as your entering as a returning citizen, they'll probably just stamp it as a souvenir. Anything else?"

"Can I get another Coke?"

Genma was glad as Kyushu came into view. He had just finished his obento lunch and was nursing a bottle of sake that the captain got him. "Ranma, you little China man, well maybe Soun's daughters will make him forget all about China," he thought while listening to CD on the Discman Ranma had got him for Christmas, "Oh glorious pop music of the home land!" Genma was already halfway in the bag.

The plane landed at Itami. Ranma went through the line for Japanese citizens, flashing his Japanese passport and getting the stamp in his Chinese passport.

Genma ran though the terminal. All the signs said that Ranma's flight had landed. Genma knew Ranma had no qualms about ditching him and going back to China. Genma finally got to where Ranma's flight's luggage was. The first few people had started retrieving their luggage.

Ranma got to the luggage claim and collected his luggage.

Genma looked around. He couldn't see Ranma anywhere. Suddenly, a bag met the back of Genma's head.

"Have a nice trip?"

"Oh Ranma!" Genma hugged his son's legs. "I thought you went back to China!" Genma was still kind of drunk.

"Chill out. I want out at least meet the girls so I can see what's wrong with them. Only butt ugly people go through with arranged marriages. That's what Yu Jin says."

As the two martial artists left Nerima station, Ranma felt something. But before anything could be done, a deluge inundated them.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's go," a well-endowed redhead in Chinese clothes said.

The panda standing in front of her held up a sign. It read: Shouldn't we change back first?

"Let's just show them what they have to deal with."

The two made their way down the street.

Meanwhile in a nice house not far away, a man sits in his living room talking with his daughters.

"Today, a very good friend of mine is coming by with his son. His name is Ranma Saotome. If one of you girls were to marry him and carry on this dojo, our family's legacy would be secure."

"Excuse me!" Akane said. "We get to pick our fiancée, not you!"

"Wait till you meet him first before you go all queen bitch on us," Nabiki added.

"How old is he, Father?" Kasumi asked.

"Hmmm, I don't know," Soun responded.

"What the hell, you, you....," Akane bitched, "What gives you the right to give us away like some kind of thing! I mean I can see selling a car or giving away an old TV, but a person! That's dirty! I don't think I can look at you the same way again!"

"Akane!" Kasumi scolded, "Take that back."

Before Akane could respond, the doorbell rang. Soon a young girl and a panda stood before them.

"You wouldn't be...." Soun stammered.

"I'm Ranma Saotome," the girl said, "Sorry 'bout this." Ranma looked at the floor.

"At last, your here!"

Soun embraced the girl, thinking she was a he.

"Ooh, he is cute." Nabiki said thinking of the possibilities.

Soun got a strange feeling. He seemed to be hugging more than he should. Soun pulled back and traced her outline. Nabiki moved in for a closer look. She poked at her chest.

"Since when do boys have these," Nabiki stated, "This is a girl!"

Soun fainted. The panda went upstairs for a bath.

Soun awoke with three girls by his side.

"Gee Dad, nice son," Nabiki said, groping at Ranma's breast.

"Umm, could you stop that?"

"Nabiki, that's my job," Akane said, "Oops."

"Huh," Ranma said.

"Never mind," Akane blurted out, "Come, we'll practice girlfriend."

"Alright," Ranma said.

With that Akane promptly dragged Ranma-chan off to the dojo.

"Hey babe, you look like a kenpo chick? Am I right?" Akane said.

"A little."

"Then how bout a little match." Akane positioned herself. Ranma-chan stood as she had been standing. Each time Akane attacked, Ranma dodged.

"That's it, she's gonna get it and not in the good erotic way, ok, maybe in the good erotic way," Akane thought. Akane lunged at Ranma's waist. Ranma jumped, flipped, and landed. Akane stopped as her fist went through the wall. Ranma tapped her on the back of her head.

"You're good," Akane said, "Thank you for being a girl."

Ranma stood in the dojo as Akane left. A sense of guilt rushed over her body.

The rest of the family was sitting in the living room when they heard it. The scream resonated throughout the house. Akane ran into the room and picked up a table.

"Gonnakillhimgonnakillhimgonnakillhimgonnakillhimgonnakillhim."

"Akane, what are you doing with that? Kasumi asked.

"I'll kill the pervert!"

Just then a handsome, young man appeared at the door.

"I'm Ranma Saotome. I guess we're no longer friends, huh Akane."

"Damn straight, you perverted cross dresser transvestite. Akane don't play that."

It's not my fault. Do you think I wanted to be tossed in the spring, you crazy dyke! I knew this would happen."

"My name is Gen..." Genma was interrupted.

"You Tendou?" Ranma pointed at Soun.

"Yes," Soun replied.

"Just introduce me to your daughters, so they can make fun of me and I can go home."

"What?"

Ranma pulled his fist back ready to knock Soun out.

"Oh, sorry, that's Kasumi, she's nineteen. That's Nabiki, she's seventeen. That's Akane, she's sixteen."

Kasumi was the first to speak.

"Why would we make fun of you?"

"Because of this." Ranma lifted a bucket over his head and dumped it over his head.

"Oh my," Nabiki said, "He's a girl."

"Pick anyone you like. She will be you're new fiancée," Soun said.

"Akane would seem to be the wisest choice," Kasumi said.

"What the fuck! Why me!"

"Because you hate boys," Nabiki said.

"What?" Ranma screamed.

"There's no way I'm marrying that freak," Akane exclaimed.

"I no marry Miss Queen Bitch Dyke, that for damn sure," Ranma said in his best Chinese accent.

Akane got up ready to kill.

"What did you say, you freak!"

"I said I'm not marrying a flat-as-a-board, bitchy, self-righteous, dyke queen. Not now, not ever!" As Ranma finished the sentence, her fist sent Akane across the room. Ranma ran upstairs. She locked herself in Soun's study and laid on the couch sobbing.

Soun was the first to get up to go find Ranma. Expecting him to be in the bathroom, changing back into a guy, he was going to scold him for punching Akane. Soun instead heard crying from his study. Soun rethought his plan. "A scolding is not what he needs," he thought. Soun went back down stairs.

"Kasumi?"

"Yes, father?"

"Could you talk to Ranma?"

"Ok." Kasumi didn't understand why, but went to her father's study as Soun asked. Upon arrival, Kasumi understood why. "Father was never good at these kinds of things." Kasumi knocked on the door.

"Ranma?"

"What do you want," Ranma replied between sobs.

"Can I come in?"

"Why? So you can laugh, make fun of me, call me a pervert?"

"Why would I do something like that?

Ranma got up and unlocked the door. She returned to the couch, still crying. Kasumi walked in and took a seat next to Ranma.

"So the curse really bothers you."

"Gee, what gave you that idea."

"Well, your response downstairs and your father explained the rest."

"Oh, stupid moron."

"I'm sorry, I was scared. I'm sure you were, too."

"Nobody ever takes my feelings into account," Ranma said, "Dad tried to bring me here a few years ago, but I was afraid to go home after falling in the spring." Kasumi was consoling the sobbing girl in her arms.

"So one night, I decided to stay in China. I kept my curse a secret, but those who found out were great about it. I even found other cursed people. I even found another boy who had the same curse as me. That made me decide to stay in China." Ranma had stopped crying. "I became a Chinese citizen. You wanna see my passport?"

"Sure," Kasumi replied. Ranma got up and left the room. She soon returned with a small, red book with unfamiliar writing.

"This is it. My People's Republic of China Passport and Travel permit." Ranma opened it and showed Kasumi the page with her male picture.

"You're proud to be Chinese as well," Kasumi smiled, "What's a travel permit?"

"It allows you to freely cross borders and travel around the country of China."

"Well, I'm happy to see you've stopped crying. I'm sorry about earlier."

"Yeah." Ranma was ready to burst into tears again. "Why did you and Nabiki try to pawn me off on Akane?

"We were scared." Nabiki walked in. She had been listening since the Passport.

"It's not you." Kasumi reassured.

"I don't know about Kasumi, but the thought of having my future decided for me scared me to death."

"Yeah, I'd say that's about right Nabiki."

The three hugged. Just then Soun walked in.

"Ranma, your father explained the whole story to me and is now explaining it to Akane for the third time. I understand everything even why you knocked out Akane. She can be difficult. I've had trouble with her myself." Just then Soun realized that Kasumi and Nabiki were still in the room. He dismissed them.

"Ranma, stay here as long as you have to. Your father told me about your Chinese citizenship. I'll tell you what, you don't have to marry one of my daughters if you don't want to. It's ok with me, just don't tell your father."

"I won't," Ranma said, "and Mr. Tendou?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"Don't worry about it."

Soun left the room. A few minutes later, he came back.

"You can change back now. The bathroom's free and Akane will be busy for a while. The sound of Akane and a royally pissed off panda filled the house.

Why does Ranma always have to be some kind of suave, lady killing (not literally) punk? Can't Ranma have at least semi-normal? Why? Takahashi-sama tries, so should you. Read and review! No flames, not honorable.