Bella was walking over to the neighborhood Wal-Mart, when suddenly, Edward Cullen popped out of a tree. Oh no. She thought. He's back. Hmm... I wonder if maybe just maybe if I ignore him, he'll just leave me alone. I doubt it, but, it's worth a try. So, Bella just carried on as if nothing had happened.
"Hey Bella! Where are you goin'?" Edward asked in an annoying singsong voice. Bella ignored.
"HEY BELLA!" Edward shouted. "WHERE ARE YOU GOING!?" Trying to ignore the screaming creepy stalker man by the tree, Bella started to walk faster. And, of course, Edward followed. Then, he appeared right in front of her. Bella stopped, nearly running into the sparkling vampire.
"Hey Bella, where are you going?" Edward asked again.
"Why do you care?" Replied Bella, finally giving up on the silent treatment.
"Because I wubs you, silly!" Edward announced, squeezing Bella as hard as he possibly could. "And I need to know where you are so I can follow you and protect you!" Oh joy! Bella thought. Now I'm gonna have this freak stalking me twenty four seven. She continued on with Edward following, hiding behind trees.
In Wal-Mart, Edward, who was sitting in the cart, was constantly commenting or questioning every single thing that Bella placed in the cart.
"What's this?" he asked, sniffing, and tasting, deodorant. "It doesn't smell very good! BLECK! It tastes even worse!"
"It's deodorant! It's the same scent that I had on when you were sniffing me and telling me how good I smelled. And you're supposed to eat it! Now put it down!" Bella snapped. Edward began to cry. "SHUT UP YOU USELESS, ANNOYING SAD-SACK!" But Edward jumped out of the cart, apparently already gotten over his sadness, and ran over to the lingerie section. And then, with his stupidity increasing by the second, he picked up a pair of panties and placed them on his head.
"Ooh! Hey Bella!" Edward shouted over to where Bella still stood. She looked away. "Do you like my pretty hat? Hmm, I wonder if it sparkles, like me!" Then, he pranced around until he reached the bras, then gasped.
"GLASSES!" He yelled, taking a pink one with ponies all over it. Placing it over his eyes, Edward continued to prance around. Bella looked up. Why God? Why do you punish me in these ways? I haven't been that bad, have I? She thought. Edward was now bumping into shoppers, knocking down racks, and pressing buttons in the checkout lanes. He stopped by a rather buff, scary looking man, obviously thinking it was Bella, kissed him on the cheek, took his cart, and rode around the store with it. The shouting of "GWEE!" was heard throughout the store. Bella finally ran out of the doors without buying a single thing. She never returned to that Wal-Mart again.