Hero United: The Super Sanin! – By Ocramed
Disclaimer: SM, R1/2, ST, Naruto and other properties belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a one-shot fusion story. C&C are welcomed.
Special Note: In this story, the world of "Naruto", "Sailor Moon", "Ranma" and DC and Marvel Comics exist in the same continuity.
When the Serpent Society learned that the legendary Moon Princess was now a follower of the Path of the Naga, they assumed that they found a likely ally in their war against the Western world.
They were wrong.
Usagi Tsukino, even mutated into being part-serpent, was not "evil" in the traditional sense. She was definitely predatory, but her path was more into the sensual aspects of the Serpent than anything else. After all, just because snakes were deadly, they weren't malicious.
That is, unless you attack them.
"I got you now!" said the large, buxom warrior named "Anaconda", as she wrapped her python-like arms around "Orochiko", the merged form of Sailor Moon and the villainous shinobi Orochimaru.
Sailor Moon felt her opponent's arms tighten around her body, even as her snake-like eyes glared at her.
"Oh, really?" Sailor Moon said, as she begins to hypnotize her foe, thinking that with great strength comes with great mental weaknesses. "Are you sure?"
Anaconda began to feel…off a bit, as she tried to stay focused.
"You…you won't get to me!" Anaconda said, as she tried to muster some courage.
"Oh, but I will," Sailor Moon said, as she bored into her opponent's mind. "Did you honestly think that you and your associates were capable in defeat a 'Snake Sage'?"
"No!" Anaconda said, as she slowly weakened, until her mind was like jelly. "You…you can't win-!"
"No, I have won," Sailor Moon said, as Anaconda slipped into a state of unconsciousness. "Such an amateur you are-"
Suddenly, Sailor Moon felt a slight distortion in the air, as she narrowly avoided getting decapitated.
"Whoa!" Sailor Moon yelled, as she began to duck and weave the latest attack. She focused her eyes on the female speedster who was determined to take her head.
"I bet you're not fast enough to take ME down!" Black Racer yelled, as she moved furiously into Sailor Moon's space.
"Even if I didn't take 'speed training' from the fastest people alive, I've trained in the Snake Arts, which includes being fast and nimble!" Sailor Moon yelled, as she ducked and performed a classic leg sweep that forced her attacker to reposition herself.
"I wonder how Ranma is doing?" Sailor Moon asked herself, as she repositioned herself.
Meanwhile, in another part of the Serpent Society's complex…
"Oh, come on!" said Asp, as she and her fellow assassins Black Mamba and Princess Python swooned in the presence of yet another legendary Sanin member…
"Yeah, can't you tell us who is the prettier out of all of us?" Black Mamba asked.
"Ladies," said Jiranma, the merged form of Ranma Saotome and the Jiriya, the Toad Sage, as Princess Python fed him grapes while all three sat on giant toad. "I cannot choose one who is the prettiest."
"That is SUCH a cop-out," Black Mamba replied.
"Okay, then," Jiranma said, as he flicked his long braid. He then turned to look at Asp.
"You skin reminds me of the Nile, in sunset, as the star shines brightly in the darkening skies," Jiranma said. He then turned towards Black Mamba.
"Your hair is like the endless seas at night: mysterious yet comforting," Jiranma said, as he turned towards Princess Python.
"Your eyes remind me of the rising moon, as I contemplate my purpose in life…"
Jiranma paused.
"If I choose one as a 'favorite', would I not deny myself the glory that is nature?" Jiranma said, as he sighs with worry. "Must you force me to choose one only one?"
The assassins turn to look at each other…
"You know, you're full of crap," Asp said, as she feigns being serious. "But…I can't stand to see you suffer like this!"
"Yes, we'll take care of you, sir," Black Mamba said, as she and the others began to cuddle the ero-sanin.
"And, yes, even if it means being the other woman," Princess Python replied. "My honor be damned!"
Jiranma sighs contently, even as the Avengers undercover contact looks on in disgust.
'They HAD to get HIM for this mission,' thought Diamondback, Agent of SHIELD, and a member of the Avengers "secret" team. She was able to get information to the right people on the Serpent Society's current location, but she never suspected that Fury would have sent a known womanizer to her.
'I just hope the OTHER Ranma is more successful…at being serious...'
Meanwhile, in yet another part of the Serpent Society's secret complex…
"I can't believe that Saotome's a dame!" said Puff Adder, as he and the few heavy hitters on the Serpent Society confront the merged form of the Ranko Tendo and the medical shinobi Tsunade.
"I can't believe Fury talked me into going on this mission," Tsuranko said, as she decks Puff Adder in the jaw, sending him through a bulkhead.
BAM!
Suddenly, Cottonmouth managed to coil his body around Tsuranko.
"Ack!" Tsuranko yelled in surprise.
"Man, check the rack on this dame!" Cottonmouth yelled, as he began to squeeze Tsuranko's "boobs".
And that was when Cottonmouth wished that he hadn't done what he did. Though Ranma Saotome had long accepted his girl form, he was not about to be assaulted by perverts.
"GRRRRR-RAH!" Tsuranko yelled, as she broke free of Cottonmouth's grip.
"Ah!" Cottonmouth yelled, as he was grabbed by the tail, and was literally used as whip for Tsuranko to use on the remaining members of the Serpent Society that was still standing at that point.
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM-!
Tsuranko then flung Cottonmouth into an injured Puff Adder, leaps into the air, and then slams her fist into floor.
"HA!" Tsuranko yelled, as her fist made contact.
THOOM!
And that was that, even as the complex began to not only fall apart, but also began to sink into the ground on which it was built upon.
A short time late…
"Call us!" yelled Asp, as she and the rest of the Serpent Society were led away into SHIELD custody. "I'll save myself for you, my love-!"
"I don't know how Saotome does it," said Sr. Special Agent Phil Coulson, as he supervised the round up of the Serpent Society members.
"Neither can I," said Asst. Director Maria Hill, though, even as she tried to deny it, she was curious as to what it was like for her, as a woman, to be a part of Ranma Saotome's "harem". For some reason, she couldn't fathom how the martial artist is able to woo even the most hardened of super-villain vixens...
"Hmm," Jiranma said, as he took out his notebook.
"What are you doing?" Jiranko asked.
"Ideas for my next book, 'Ichi Ichi Naga Girl'," Jiranma said, as he jotted in his notebook.
Jiranko merely rolled her eyes in reply. Then again, her male half WAS indeed a popular romance novelist, which does pay the bills...
"Tsukino, you were supposed to secure the base for us, not destroy it," Director Nick Fury yelled. He was furious that his forensic team will have to spend more time than not trying to retrieve evidence that could be used against the Serpent Society in a court of law.
"Hey, don't yell at me, yell at her," Sailor Moon replied defensively, as she thumbs at her "husband". "Unlike her, I don't go berserk anytime some idiot cops a feel."
"That's because YOU like it," Jiranko replied in a snarky manner.
"WHAT-ever…"
Fin.