Title: I'm That of a Monster.
Disclaimer: I don't own TGQ
I've known all along, I've always had this thought at the back of my heart, but it's always melted away by the warmth of your embrace. But yet, I never expected that I'd be this devastated, without you. I never thought that I'd turn out to be like this, no longer the person I was before, no longer cool, calm and collected. I'm just another boy, overridden by his emotions, drowning in his own sea of tears.
Am I so easy to forget?
Life is never fair. I've known that ever since I realised the blood I had in myself. Evil blood. Contaminated blood that does only harm to others. And thus, I'm once again, at a crossroad. Had I always relied on you so much to the point that I can no longer breathe without you? To the point that my heart stops when you're no longer with me? This emotion, can I even define it as love, or is all just a misunderstanding on my side?
Just not needed, me, that is.
If I had perhaps, someone else's blood in me, would that make a difference? Or will I always, in whatever memory you have left of me, be the boy that had killed the man you respected most, the man that had taught you the ways of a detective, the man you call your father? With this blood flowing through my every vein, it is inevitable that I am Pluto, I am the one that had murdered your father without a blink of the eye, for I have this blood in me, I am Pluto, I hold the responsibilities.
I wanted to be with you, I'm so selfish.
If I were perhaps, of the opposite gender, would that make you look at me? Or will I always, no matter what changes, be the boy that you threw away in the end? The boy that was never needed by anyone, the boy in which you toyed with until you were satisfied at how much you could break me without even lifting a pinkie or opening your eyes? But that is to be expected, for the sins that Pluto, that I had committed, I could not, no matter what repay those sins, and ask for your forgiveness. I am that sort of person, one in which has trotted so deeply into the sea of blood that this world no longer has a place for them. I'm that of a monster.
Because in the end, there's no one to pick my pieces up and hold me.