"I'm sorry." Those two simple words cut through the fog of silence like a hot blade. The gentle 'plunk' of teardrops hitting the floor followed swiftly. "I'm so sorry." Tonks whispered, tightening her arms around the near-sleeping infant and holding him closer to her chest. She fought back a sob and shuddered, pressing her face into her son's turquoise-colored hair. "My baby boy..." she continued, voice hushed and tinged with regret. The war raging inside of her was nearly as fierce as the battle about to commence in the real world, the one her husband had left for by now. "My sweetheart." Her heart throbbed in agony, damn near close to bursting. "I'm so sorry, my love." She choked hoarsely, tears streaming down her cheeks, mousy brown hair a clear sign of her distress. She could never apologize enough for this.
"I'm so sorry I have to leave you here..." She wept quietly as Teddy gurgled, one of his small fists balling up the fabric of the shirt she wore. He cocked his head back in apparent confusion and Tonks' eyes found his. Remus' eyes were staring back at her. The purest blue with small flecks of amber that could only be seen when the lighting was right.
And Tonks knows...she knows that she must go. Tonks knows that she must follow. At this point it is no longer a choice. Andromeda will guard Teddy with her life, that much she's certain of. Remus is out on his own facing who knows what and she can't leave him alone. She has to fight along side him; protect him, even though she'll undoubtedly be faced with his anger for her decision afterwords.
"I-I've just got to find your daddy, yeah? Find your daddy and bring him straight home. We'll be alright, I promise. Back by morning, you'll see. You'll see, love. A-and when daddy and I get back, we'll spend the entire day with you. Just the three of us...maybe your gran can tag along, too. Would you like that?" She asked, knowing perfectly well that he couldn't answer her. "We'll go out for a nice, long walk. Maybe make a stop at the park..." Her breath hitched.
Oh, please forgive me. Forgive me, darling.
Her warm lips met Teddy's forehead, hands trembling as she held him. Her son, her heart, her nightlight amidst this suffocating darkness that threatened to consume her whole.
Please be safe. "Mummy loves you." She murmured against his soft skin. "Mummy loves you so much." I'll come back. Gods, I will come back. I swear it.