Have A Seat.

"Okay, I've got one for you." Sheppard turned to Lt. Ford. "A triple cheese burger, biggie fry, biggie shake." He crossed his arms over his P-90. "Now, top that."

Ford thought for a second then snapped his fingers, "Got it! Double Whopper with cheese combo, king sized."

"Doesn't count." Sheppard continued down the corridor.

"What do you mean it doesn't count?"

"You can't compare a double to a triple. That's like comparing a station wagon to a SUV. Sure, they're basically the same kind of car, but one's way bigger than the other."

"Okay, you win that one. What else?"

"Beer."

Ford nodded in agreement.

Sheppard started the round. "Ice cold Bud, straight from the fridge."

"Bottle or can?"

"Bottle."

"Hhmm. Corona, in a bottle, ice cold, with a lime."

"Heineken, in a bottle, ice cold, no lime."

"Ha!" Ford's face lit up. "I've got you this time."

Major Sheppard paused. "What?"

"Duvel! Need I say more?"

"Hhhhmmm. I haven't had a Duvel in years."

Both fell silent. Each lost in memories of his last cold beer.

Teyla trailed slowly behind them, shaking her head in amusement. They were like rivaling siblings. One always trying to out do the other. She'd been listening to them, for the last hour or so, comparing everything from athletes, to sports teams, to cars, to movies, to women, to food, and now beer. You'd think she'd be used to it by now, yet it never failed to make her laugh.

With a long sigh she continued her survey of the corridor. She loved it when the team ventured into unexplored areas of Atlantis. It was as if she were walking in the foot steps of the Ancients. Atlantis was a city full of wonders and beauty. The architecture alone was awe inspiring. High arches, intricate details on the doors and windows….

"Major Sheppard." Both Ford and Sheppard turned to find Teyla standing in front of a wall panel. They back tracked.

"What's up?"

She turned to Sheppard and gestured with her head towards the panel. "Is this not odd?"

Sheppard looked at the panel. He didn't see anything wrong with it. It looked like a panel. There were hundreds, possibly thousands of wall panelings just like this one all over Atlantis. This one wasn't any different. Sheppard looked over Teyla's shoulder at Lt. Ford, and raised his eyebrows in question. Ford merely shrugged.

"Uuhh, no?"

Teyla smiled. "It was not the panel itself that I was referring to, but the light that comes from beneath it."

Sheppard and Ford both looked down.

"Oh!"

The panel slid open. Teyla and Lt. Ford looked at Sheppard expectantly.

Sheppard gave an innocent look. "What, you didn't do that?"

It was a medium sized chamber, equal to that of the conference room used for briefings. Cabinets and shelves were positioned along the walls and what appeared to be a long waist high padded table was stationed to the rear of the room. At first glance, one would easily assume that this was a medical lab or examination room of some type, except for the large throne like chair in it's center.

Teyla approached the chair, while Ford and Sheppard roamed around the room.

"That is odd."

Sheppard rolled his eyes in exaggeration. "Would you stop it with the odds?"

"Do you not think so, a chair in the middle of an examination room?"

Lt. Ford replied from the back of the room, "I don't think this was a room for examinations." Sheppard walked over to Ford's side and glanced down at the restraints positioned on all four corners of the bed. "I think it was a room for interrogation, possibly even torture."

"Torture?" Teyla asked. "What could possibly cause the Ancients to resort to such measures?

Sheppard looked from the chair to the table and back again. That's a damn good question.

"Dr. McKay?"

Major Sheppard's voice suddenly coming in over his ear communicator startled Rodney. Instead of cutting a wire in half, he nicked his finger.

"Ooww!" McKay sucked on his finger to ease the pain. "What?"

"We've found a lab in the southwest passage. I think there's something here that you should check out."

He thinks. Hmmpf, that's a joke.

"Maiger Shep'ord, yuss becau' yu cam viggar ou-"

"What?"

McKay sighed and pulled out his finger. "I said: Just because you can't figure out how to turn on an Ancient lava lamp, doesn't mean that I have time to drop what I'm doing to come and figure it out for you."

"Look 'Mr. Know It All', there's a room down here that looks like an interrogation or torture chamber and it's got one of those control chair thingys in it. I just thought you would want to know, before I sat down."

"Torture chamber? That can't be. A race as technologically advanced as the Ancients would never have to stoop to something as crude as rudimentary torture devices. They're far too sophisticated-"

"Rodney! Would you quit with the yapping and just get down here?"

McKay sighed. "I'm on my way. And Major?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't touch anything until I get there."

"Major Sheppard!" McKay called from the corridor

Sheppard leaned out of the doorway and waved, "In here Rodney."

"You know, for someone who's always naming things, you'd think you could come up with something better than 'control chair thingy'."

"And you thought of this in the thirty minutes it took you to get here?"

"I had to make a stop or two along the way. Now where's this chair?"

With a mocking bow, Sheppard turned to his side and extended his hand, palm up, towards the chair, "Your Highness."

McKay took a slow walk around the chair asking questions as he went. "Has anyone touched the chair?"

"You said not to."

McKay paused. "I know that Major, but what I say and you do never seem to quite coincide with one another." He continued, "So, I'll ask again, did you touch it?"

"No."

"Good. Has the chair done anything since you came into the room?"

"No."

"Mmmmhhh." McKay stopped in front of the chair, "Major if you would be so kind?"

Sheppard gave him a confused look.

McKay sighed and nodded towards the chair. "Have a seat."

Everyone turned to watch as Sheppard settled into the chair, but nothing happened.

"Major, do you feel anything?"

Sheppard paused briefly then answered, "Nope."

"Dr. McKay." Lt. Ford nodded towards the wall to the rear of the room.

"When did that appear?" McKay asked, moving to get a closer look.

"Just after you asked the Major how he felt."

Rodney squinted at both screens. "Well, from what I can guess, these two screens are readings of some kind. They're too erratic to be heart beats. May guess ……brain waves?"

McKay walked back to the chair. "This doesn't make any sense! Why build a chair that monitors brain waves? And what's the second screen for? The patterns don't even match? I don't get it?"

Major Sheppard leaned on the arm of the chair, chin in hand.

"Well, I'll be the first to say that I'm glad to hear that."

McKay looked a Sheppard, "Huh?"

"Listen, Rodney. Everyone knows that as far as smarts go, you're the closest thing to a genius that we have on Atlantis. Mind you, you could use a little work in the math department." Sheppard continued over Lt. Ford's laughter. "You know that you're smart. We know that you're smart. So why do you have to walk around all day talking about how smart you are? I mean really, two thirds of the time nobody's listening to you anyway." Sheppard leaned in a bit and lowered his voice. "And, it's a real turn off with the ladies. Give it a rest."

Teyla watched as Dr. McKay struggled to find a response.

"Major Sheppard, are you feeling well?"

Sheppard turned to Teyla and gave her a quick look up and down.

"Sweetheart, why don't you just call me John?"

Sheppard tilted his head to the side and winked.

McKay snapped out of his stupor, "Major Sheppard! Now is not the time for you to start lusting after Teyla. We have serious work to do."

"Oh, come on Rodney. Even you have to admit, she's pretty hot."

Dr. McKay's mouth dropped open.

Teyla's brow knotted in confusion.

And Lt. Ford's laughter turned into a choking sound. He remembered the Majors comments from less than half an hour ago and headed for the chair.

"I mean look at her." Both McKay and Sheppard looked at Teyla. "Beautiful eyes, sun kissed skin, a nice smile, and a really nice rac-."

"Major Sheppard!" Lt. Ford spoke loudly as he stepped between Teyla and the Major. "Sir, please stand up."

Sheppard tilted his head back to look up at Ford. "Hey, buddy."

"Sir, please. Get out of the chair."

"What's wrong?"

Lt. Ford grabbed Sheppard by the shoulder. "Sir, please."

"Okay. Okay, I'm up."

Ford sighed in relief as Major Sheppard stood.

The two beeps sounded from the back of the room.

Sheppard stepped down from chair and stumbled. "Is it me, or is the room spinning?" Sheppard slumped forward and Ford caught him; he was out cold.

"Teyla, you and Ford take Major Sheppard to the infirmary. I'll get a team set up in here for further research."

Major Sheppard woke up in the infirmary. At the foot of his bed he could see Lt. Ford and Dr. Beckett sharing a laugh. "Wanna let me in on the joke?"

"Major, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine Dr., just a little groggy."

"That's the side effect of the drug. Don't worry lad, you'll be back to yourself in no time."

"Drug? What drug?" Sheppard turned to Ford. "What happened?"

"Don't you remember?"

"I remember sitting down in that stupid chair, but nothing happened. So I stood up. That's when I starting feeling dizzy and passed out. Then I woke up here." Sheppard looked from Beckett to Ford. "Right?"

Silence.

"Right?"

Ford grimaced, "Well…"

"Well WHAT?"

"Major Sheppard, calm down. Everything is fine." Dr. Beckett shot a quick glance at Ford. "What Lt. Ford was trying to tell you is that we've discovered the purpose of the chair in the chamber. You see Major, when you sat down trace amounts of a serum began to be absorbed into your skin. It only took a matter of seconds for the drug to take effect. Once you had enough serum in your system you were completely under its control. There were two monitors in the room; one showed your brain activity, the other displayed the brain activity of a person fully under the influence of the serum. Once they matched, anyone could have drilled you with questions and you would have been compelled to tell the absolute truth."

"Oh." Sheppard nodded. "So what happened?"

"Well sir, you poked a little fun at Dr. McKay…"

Sheppard sighed in relief. "Is that all?"

"Well…."

"What aren't you telling me, Lieutenant?"

"Well sir, …" Ford struggled to keep a straight face, "you said that Teyla was pretty hot and that she had a really nice rack."

"Oh." Sheppard rested his head and closed his eyes. Oh, God!

FYI: Duvel is a beer that's really popular in Europe.