Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. If I did, Clarke and Anya would have been together a long time ago and the two of them would have at least ten adopted children by now.
Summary: Three Grounder women fell in love with Clarke. But only two of them remained loyal to Clarke during the invasion of Mount Weather. AnyaxClarke. Clarke and one other Grounder woman as well. Lexarke fans, take caution. You might not like this fic too much. Inspired greatly by "Speak Freely" by Chasing Fantasies.
Honor, Burnt to Ashes:
The quiet in the throne room was almost unbearable. The walls all lined with shelves and tables, decorated with dark red and pale white candles, lighting the entire area around the Commander. The lingering, dark, torturous shadows that were cast by the hanging, steel circled chandeliers barely allowed the Commander to fully see the three figures approaching through the all from where she sat against the thick, wooden throne's twisted vines twining together, aimed at the stone and steel ceiling.
Lexa kept a passive appearance, despite how difficult it was as soon as she saw the first figure slip through the steel plated doorway. Clarke.
Lexa tried to ignore the skip in her heartbeat, but it was no use as usual. However, she saw soon that Clarke wasn't alone. She was flanked by two figures. One, she only recognized thanks to the Azgeda tattoo marking the woman's right shoulder and arm. The large, black handprint with its spiral in the palm was like a colossal knife to the commander's chest, her defenses instantly up. Though the Azgeda were part of the coalition, she had no reason to tolerate any of them as long as she could help it for long in her throne room. Even before Costia, Lexa had possessed such disgust of the Azgeda from the brutal stories she had heard about them as a child. Costia's death had only been the final blade needed to sever whatever affection or respect she might have once had for them. The dark-haired woman stopped at Clarke's left side as soon as Clarke came to a halt, giving Lexa a murderous glare. Lexa felt every muscle in her body become tense. Why was an Azgeda warrior with Clarke? Lexa kept a calm appearance, somehow, and her green eyes, searching Clarke's darkened, cold expression for answers eventually slanted to the woman next to Clarke on the blonde's right side.
Lexa's mask almost slipped in surprise, though she knew she perhaps shouldn't have been surprised after what happened when she had ordered her soldiers to retreat at Mount Weather.
Anya. Her general of the Trikru, and her Fos.
There Anya stood, taller than Clarke, face unreadable, eyes focused only on her Commander. Lexa tried to read Anya's emotions, but it was impossible. If there was one thing Lexa had picked up from Anya, it was the ability to hide her emotions.
"Hello, Klark." Lexa said, eyes going back to the Skaikru leader, more relief than she could help beginning to leak into her voice, seeing that Clarke had survived the mountain. "Commander." Clarke said coldly. Lexa didn't move, face becoming hardening to an unreadable mask. Commander, was it? Lexa didn't need to look more closely at the other young woman to know that Clarke was angry at her for Mount Weather. "I assume you've heard about what happened?" Clarke said coolly, head held high. The Commander's heart thrummed with the intensity coming off of Clarke. She had heard indeed. There perhaps wasn't one single member of her tribe or any tribe in this world that hadn't. The Mountain, the dark shadow that had loomed over their land for centuries that had stolen their warriors, mothers, children, babies, fathers, brothers and sisters had fallen. Every last one of their people had been wiped out by Clarke of the Sky People.
The Commander gauged the trio before her, her own awe practically consuming her. This one girl, this remarkable Sky girl, this force of nature, had brought down the mountain.
"The Mountain has fallen." Lexa said calmly, not allowing any concern into her voice, not wanting to give anything away. She slowly turned to Anya, her green eyes boring into her once teacher's deep brown ones. "And you went against my orders, general."
"Yes. Yes I did." Anya said calmly, firmly, emotions still unidentifiable. The Commander tried to detect any hint of what the older woman was feeling, but found nothing. Hiding her displeasure, the still concerned Lexa turned her head to the Azgeda woman standing next to Clarke. "And you are now accompanying an Azgeda?" She barely contained the distaste in her voice. The Azgeda woman's lips curled back into a snarl, but Clarke held up her left hand, keeping the woman back as Clarke sent the other a simple look at the Azgeda warrior stopped in her attempt and moving forward in an intimidating lurch.
"This is Eko Kom Azgeda." Clarke answered, as if it was the most widely known fact in the world. "We met in the mountain. She was being held there by the Mountain Men." Clarke clearly meant those words to be the only explanation Lexa needed, but Echo decided to elaborate. She nodded to Clarke. "We killed a guard together." The Ice Nation woman's tone held a sliver of pride, as if such a shared incident was something that anyone would appreciate. Clarke didn't seem to think the same as she eyed the other woman. "Seriously, Echo?" Clarke asked dryly. She turned back to the Commander, "We came here to make sure you knew that we are setting up a new agreement. I want you to publically announce to all the council, to all the tribe leaders that you are accepting the Skaikru into your coalition, so that when you betray us again," Clarke's voice hardened as she said strongly, her eyes burning into Lexa's, "And I say when, not if, when you betray us again, all of the tribes will know just what you are. Until then, we will have our new alliance. Because I'm sure we all know that the old one is dead. Thanks to you, Commander."
To anyone else, it would appear that the Commander was unfazed utterly by Clarke's impassioned words, but she remained affixed to the oak seat, hand clenched around the hilt of her knife. Her face remained composed only because of years of teaching and keeping her emotions in check. This couldn't be happening. Her eyes darted to Anya, almost hoping that her teacher and general would interrupt Clarke and claim that the Sky girl had no right to speak that way to the Commander, but Anya was unresponsive, and her eyes only lingered on the woman that she had taught since Lexa's childhood.
"And you?" Lexa somehow got out at last, eyes remaining on Anya, too afraid to look at Clarke again too soon. "How are you involved in this, Onya?" The Commander had a guess. She had seen how Anya had looked at Clarke in the war room when she and Clarke had gone over the plans to invade Mount Weather. She knew that the two of them had a history. What that history entailed, Lexa had never truly comprehended until now. She knew that Anya had protected Clarke from Tristen when Lexa had sent Tristen to kill Clarke and her people-that Anya had wanted Clarke in her tribe. She knew that Clarke had freed Anya from the Mountain after Anya had been captured. When she had seen the way Anya looked at Clarke when they had gone over the plans to go against the mountain, Lexa would admit that she had indeed suspected it. But she had never really understood or comprehended the level of their relationship until now.
When she had kissed Klark, right in Anya's view, knowing full well that Onya could be trusted with that kind of information, she had seen how the older woman had stiffened up at the sight. And even then, the Commander had known it wasn't just in shock. And it was too obvious now. Lexa felt her chest tingle with ice. She should have known. There was a reason Klark had pulled away. At the time, Lexa had thought that it was because she was still recovering from the death of her loved one, "Finn," but now she knew better. "You ran from the camp against my orders." She said, knowing that it was pointless to talk about that now.
"I did, Heda," Onya repeated, "And I released Linkin. I'm the reason you couldn't find him on the camp." Anya finally turned her head to Clarke and Eko, "I was taken by the Mountain as you know. Klark, Eko, the three of us, we survived in the mountain for nearly a year before Klark and I escaped. Eko was recaptured. When you brought all the other tribes' people out, Eko went back with me, Linkin went to the Mountain to help Klark and her people."
Lexa went over the story in her head, believing it, but still not sure she understood fully what had occurred between the three. Clarke was "friends" with an Azgeda? So was Onya? The thought wasn't just wrong and vile. It was madness. Still, she understood that this Azgeda woman had helped Clarke and she supposed that she should give at least some gratitude to her. The Commander finally, stiffly stood up from her throne, legs feeling achy in how stiff the woman had been, sitting unmoving for so long, or what had felt like so long. She looked down from the podium at the three women. Against all odds, her mentor, and the woman she loved had had formed a bond together, and so had an Azgeda warrior with them in the mountain.
"I promise you three you shall be rewarded for your victory." The Commander forced out, even giving a small nod in Echo's direction.
Clarke shook her head, eyes sad, her mouth turning into a small, dark smile. "No, Commander. We want none of your rewards. We decided it after we rescued the 100 and the other Arkers. Those that are Trikru and are sworn to you will not be allowed on a certain part of our land. We will be under your protection, nothing more. We will have lessons from Anya, Lincoln and Anya's tribe, and from Eko." Clarke nodded to the Azgeda next to her. "But that's it. We would rather not have any more contact with you."
The Commander almost blanched, her frozen expression faltering to wide eyes and a dropped jaw. "You...you can't order that." She said, voice more urgent than she'd like. "If you're to be part of this coalition, all three of you obey my commands." Lexa's words became icy as she looked at Klark, wanting to make her understand that she had no authority, whatever Lexa's feelings were. Klark gave a weak smile, the look in her blue eyes suddenly making Lexa stiffen. She looked broken. Her eyes were so hard now, glinting with anger. The Commander stood up straighter if possible. The Mountain Men had been wiped out. And it looked like the cost had been far too high for Klark.
The Commander could see the fracture in Klark's beautiful, gentle soul.
"These are not commands, Heda." Klark sneered, "These are conditions. Anya has explained the circumstances it will take to join the coalition and I am simply using them to make sure you can't hurt my people ever again." The words vaulted at the Commander did its damage. The Commander felt like she had been hit. "I did what I had to." Lexa threw back, voice icing over again, "Just like you did, Klark."
She saw the stiffening of Klark's lower jaw, and the blonde's eyes narrowing. "I did what I had to do only because of you, Commander." Clarke spat. "If you had stayed, maybe I wouldn't have had to do what I did. Maybe if you had stayed, the two hundred children of the mountain who were innocent would still be alive." A powerful hand clasped Klark's right shoulder. "What we did." Onya corrected, looking down at Klark with a strange tenderness that Lexa had never seen Onya possess since she was a child and Onya was teaching her.
Klark looked up at Onya, hand laying atop Onya's own, squeezing it. She grimaced, turning back to the composed but internally befuddled commander. "Anya was there for me. She went back into the Mountain. She was there in that awful room when Emerson was trying to break in and kill us. She pulled the lever with me so I wouldn't have to carry the burden alone. She was there for me, Commander. Not you."
"I couldn't be." The Commander somehow found her voice, what she saw between Anya and Clarke shaking her more than she'd like to admit. "My duty to my people comes first."
"When you allied with the Skaikru," Onya said, eyes burning as she met her once Second's gaze, "The Skaikru became your people. And when you left them to die in the Mountain, you abandoned your people." The Trikru general finally pulled her hand away from Klark's shoulder, walking closer to the steps, burning eyes never moving from the Commander's form. "You betrayed your people. You betrayed me."
At last, the Commander's face paled, the accusation clearly affecting her. "I will bring my clans of Trikru with me to the Skaikru." Anya continued, eyes tearing themselves from Lexa, going back to Clarke and Echo. "Are you both ready to leave?" "More than ready." Clarke said, staring at the Commander with disgust. "I don't want to be here any longer than I have to be."
"Klark," The commander moved down the stairs, voice strong, "You have an obligation to speak for your people. Don't walk away from me." "You mean like you did at the mountain?" Klark sneered back, "You lost the high ground when you left my family for dead." She looked at Onya, "I'm guessing you want to say goodbye. Echo and I will wait outside." Onya nodded as Clarke gently brushed her hand against Eko's, the Azgeda slowly turning in response. Both women began walking out the door. Feeling the heat of panic in her chest rise, Lexa stepped down the stairs, opening her mouth to call for Clarke to come back, till Anya stepped in front of her, a cold, nearly condemning look on her face that made Lexa's blood freeze.
"Remove yourself from my path, Onya," Lexa warned, not believing that her general was going against her orders. The taller warrior regarded her Commander, eyes finally betraying Anya's ability to compose herself. The emotions in Onya's eyes startled Lexa. Sadness. Disappointment.
A chord was struck brutally with a blade of coldness inside Lexa. How dare Onya look at her like that? She was Heda. She did everything that was required of her to protect her people.
"No, Heda," Onya said calmly, her voice betraying nothing, unlike her eyes. "I cannot. I will uphold my promise to Klark and her people. Which is something I thought that you would do as well."
The accusation hadn't necessarily been thrown at the Commander, but it was very much there. Onya had said it in all ways but being blunt and fully honest about it. The Commander could truly feel herself blanch at this. She never once remembered Onya defying her, save for when Anya had run from camp and went back into the mountain after Clarke with Lincoln alongside her. "Be careful of what you're saying, general." Lexa warned, her voice not as strong as she'd like it to be, the situation truly weighing on her now. Onya shook her head. "Noted. But there isn't anything left to say. I'm going to be joining Clarke soon. We're going back to our camp. We will await your response to our conditions with the coalition."
As Anya started to turn, Lexa's shock possessed her as she snapped out harshly, "Stay right there, Onya! You are already part of the coalition. You are Trikru. What are you insinuating?" Anya sighed, turning back around on her foot and facing Lexa, eyes now unreadable again. "I'm not just Trikru anymore." The older woman answered with such certainty and firmness that it stunned Lexa. "I am Skaikru as well. Just as Klark is Trikru and Skaikru. We all are. I accepted Klark and the 100 as my people. So has Linkin. The only one that hasn't is you. If you don't accept the Skaikru into your coalition in front of everyone, then the Trikru might as well leave it." The Commander didn't move. She almost couldn't breathe. Was this really Onya? Her Onya? That had taught her that love was weakness?
"And it won't just be the Trikru." Onya continued, not seeming to notice or care about Lexa's inability to process all this, "The Azgeda will leave too. Eko made a promise while we were in the Mountain, fighting for our lives while you were safe. She gave a blood oath to Klark that she would speak with Prince Roan against the Az Kwin. You've set your own trap, Heda. No one will truly respect you after you had the chance to bring down the Mountain Men and didn't try to. After you left allies and practically gave the Mountain Men a way to reach the surface and walk without dying."
The Commander's heart leapt, not sure how Onya of all people was questioning her choices. "How dare you, Onya? I had to keep our people safe. I did what I had to for my people, just like you would have. Just like Klark would have." Anya shook her head, smiling grimly. "Klark wouldn't have betrayed us. And you know it. She's not like you. I've always believed that you'd do whatever it would take to protect our people, Commander, but by taking prisoners who were already inside, leaving the Mountain Men to get stronger with the Sky Peoples' bone marrow, you weren't just being a coward," The Commander reeled back at the word thrown at her so casually. Onya didn't seem to notice as she landed her last words with sadness in her eyes, "You were being traitorous. What do you think would happen when the Mountain Men got to the surface? They wouldn't die once they were on the ground, and they had their advanced technology. There's more, unfortunately for you. There are more Sky People here now. What do you think would have happened when they found out that you left their people to die in the Mountain?"
The Commander felt the air leaving her lungs. This couldn't be happening. Surely Onya of all people would understand why she had to do it. Surely she knew. She was just protecting her people. Her people came before everything and everyone else.
Before the Commander could say anything else, Onya added, "And don't think that Klark is naïve, Leksa. She knows about what we did." The Commander narrowed her eyes. What was Onya saying? Onya smiled sadly at the Commander's confusion. "I mean that she knows, Heda. She knows we lied about the missiles. About the village. She knows that that village never actually existed. I told her the truth when Linkin and I went back into the mountain." Onya's eyes closed for a moment as she breathed out smoothly, "I thought Klark would never forgive me. She knows now. She knows that the village burning down never really happened." Anya opened her eyes, looking at her superior coolly. "She knows that we came up with it so that we could control her people. So that we'd have something to hold against them. She knows it. There is no more you can say that will sway her opinion, Heda. She is through with you."
The Commander couldn't move once again. Her heart was racing. Clarke knew. Clarke knew. Clarke knew! The only motion the Commander managed was a swallow and her jaw tightening. The village that supposedly "burned down." A village that had never existed.
After the Commander had ordered a small group of Trikru to kill these strange people that didn't belong in their territory, and failed, she had decided that perhaps the best course of action in making these people obey was seeing if they had morals, any weakness in spirit. Should they flinch at the thought of a village that they would be told that they burned down from those missiles that they had shot off earlier, then perhaps they could be controlled. And the Commander at the time hadn't seen why they shouldn't do it. Though the Sky People hadn't burned down any village with those missiles, what other reason would they have had to fire such deadly things, except having the hope of killing thousands of Trikru people?
The lie that she and Onya had constructed before Onya had met with Clarke that day at the bridge when trying to make a deal had been one made out of necessity.
Onya took a breath, not seeming to care that her Heda was staring at her as if she didn't even recognize her once Fos. "And so am I. Linkin was right." Onya met the Commander's disbelieving eyes. "You dishonor us all. You dishonored yourself when you left the mountain." Onya started to turn away from the Commander. "I will not lie to Klark ever again. I don't believe you'll swear to do the same." Onya's eyes shimmered once again with an emotion that Lexa couldn't place, and she didn't like it. Those deep, intense, brown eyes flickered with what the commander had the terrible suspicion was disappointment. Or maybe sadness.
"I expected better of you." Onya said voice neutral, but her eyes dancing with pain, "The seken Gostos and I raised had honor. When you left the mountain, you deliberately burned your honor to ashes."
Lexa took a breath, trying to steady her emotion as the room suddenly started spinning. Her mind reeling again and again. Onya was…..was Onya serious? Was Onya going to…
"You will not leave!" The order was flung from Lexa's throat before she could think about it. "You may not agree with what I did. But what I did was the good of my people. For your people. And I am still your commander. You will remain posted with the Trikru Tribe and await my next order."
What the commander now recognized as sadness in Onya's eyes never wavered as she offered another grim smile. "Leksa, I know you thought you were doing what was best for our people. I do know that. But what you did was not just dishonorable, it would have put us in more danger by granting the Mountain Men the ability to walk above ground with their weaponry. It wasn't just dishonorable, it was a serious miscalculation on your part. It endangered us all. I expected better, my seken. I truly did."
Onya's gaze hardened. "And I expected that you would at least know that what you did was dishonorable. Please, Leksa, be honest with yourself." The taller woman stood back as she said in a controlled voice now, "I certainly am. And I will stay with the Trikru, but with the Trikru that will be joining with the Skaikru and the Azgeda." At the Commander's disbelieving gaze, Onya added, "There are more Trikru willing to protect the Skaikru than you think."
As the Commander tried to think of a new comment, still not sure how to believe all this, the air now suddenly unbearably tight and suffocating, Onya added one last time, "I know where my loyalties lie, Heda. Do you? The Skaikru are our people. And I will not leave them. Klark is of our tribe. She is one of us. And I certainly won't leave her. I thought you'd understand that."
The Commander stepped forward, breath leaving her as Onya started to walk away, the orders barely leaving her mouth, "Stop! General! Stop now! I command it! As your Heda, I command that you stop where you are!" It felt like thousands of cold ice knives hit the commander's chest as Onya left the throne room, tall, muscled figure descending, leaving only a warm, brightly lit room that now felt far too small for the Commander's liking.
Everything in the commander's mind told her to run after them. To order the guards to grab all three of them and drag them back for disobeying the Heda's orders, to punish, to execute Eko and imprison Onya and Klark, but everything in Leksa told her to run after her friend, her teacher, the woman who had practically been her mother for years, to beg Klark, the only woman since Kostia, Leksa had realized that she wished to spend the rest of her life with, to beg Klark for forgiveness.
But whether the impulse came from the Commander or Leksa herself, the woman couldn't find her legs moving another inch. It was over. Clarke had left her. Anya had left her. Anya's words pounded like a continuous hammer being brought down on a newly iron-wrought sword.
"You dishonor us all. You dishonored yourself when you left the mountain."
For once in her life, Lexa truly believed the true toll of her position in life as Heda had taken on her.
Author's Note:
I know I will get a ton of hate for this fic, and you know what? I don't care. Let me explain what happened, because blind Lexarke fans and Lexa fans don't seem to get it. Lexa, the Commander who has an obligation to her people made an alliance with the 100 and the rest of the Arkers, therefore promising that she would protect them as she would her own people, therefore, when she left them at the mountain, she not only left Clarke, her supposed "love" to die, she dishonored her word and her people. By leaving the Arkers and the 100, Lexa abandoned her people.
Not only that, but she had the opportunity to wage war against the Mountain people that had been terrorizing her people for literally centuries, but didn't. Instead, she bowed her head and took a deal. For what? To get a bunch of her people back, even though it's really not a good idea to let people like the Mountain Men up on the ground. Like I said in this, what would have happened had the Mountain Men reached the ground?
Quite simple. With their weapons and their new ability to get to the surface without dying, the Mountain Men could have wiped a great deal more of the Grounders out than they did before. Maybe more Grounders than the Arkers or the 100 could kill off. Great planning, Lexa. Great planning. She's dishonorable, a traitor, and officially put her people in even more danger than before. And oh yes, don't Grounders go against their leaders when they feel their leaders are weak? Well, why hasn't Lexa been at least ten types of overthrown by now?
And that last thing that I put in the fic about the village not really burning down with the missiles? Yeah, I'm going to just say that I'm really suspicious of what the Grounders said at the bridge when Anya and Clarke first met. Just hear me out.
You remember back in season 1 when the 100 first landed and shot off those missiles to make sure that the Ark got the message that they were down on Earth and wouldn't kill anyone? Well, here's the thing, why haven't we heard about that "Village burning down" that Anya mentioned on the bridge? Yeah, remember that?
The village that Anya claimed burned down because of the 100's missiles? Why didn't we hear about it ever again after that? Why was Anya telling Clarke that on the bridge the only time we heard about it? Lincoln never mentions it. Lexa never mentions it. Indra never mentions it. And we never hear about it again after the first time Clarke and Anya meet at the bridge. Why is that? We hear all about the "how dare you burn our men alive" thing, the drop ship explosion, but over a peaceful village that supposedly burned down, do we ever hear about it again? No.
Here's what I think. The commander and Anya are both smart. They know that if they have something to hold over these "invaders" that they will be able to control them.
The village that supposedly burned down? It wasn't even real. It never existed. I'm betting the commander had Anya make it up to have leverage over Clarke and the others. And that's just one of many suspicions I have about the Trikru. I'm just saying, it's weird that we never hear about the village that Anya claimed was burned down by the missiles ever again. Don't you think that's kind of weird? I mean, Lincoln says towards the end of season 1 that what his people are doing to Clarke's is wrong. Why would he say that? Why would he say it unless he felt the Trikru were unjustified in their attacks? That's because there was no village that burnt down. And Lincoln knew it. The Grounders, especially the Trikru are liars. I know pretty much everyone is in this series, but we're kidding ourselves if we think the Trikru are any better.