Wildest Dreams
Title from Taylor Swift's Wildest Dreams and I recommend listening to it while reading.
It was inevitable.
She promised herself that she wouldn't become attached; there was a time limit on them and she couldn't even pretend that she hadn't known it all along.
He was just passing through and so was she. Quite frankly, now knowing how hectic their lives were, it was an incredible coincidence that they'd both been in the same place at the same time for the whole month anyway.
It was funny, she thought, that nowadays she calls it a coincidence when just a few years ago it would have been fate. God, how things had changed.
Why was it that this was the first guy (the first one since that high school relationship that was far too serious for high school) that she could have real feelings for? At least she thought she could, she'd never let herself go there completely. And this was there last night together. Ever.
They hadn't discussed what would happen next and she had no idea what he would say or hell if he would even say anything, he knew that today was the end from day one, that was the deal. One month of amazing conversation and sex. No strings attached. She supposed it was a dream come true for most twenty-four year old women who craved adventure, what could be better than a passionate love affair with a handsome stranger?
The truth was that despite the fact that it was far from her dream come true, she didn't even care anymore, she'd conditioned herself to believing that fairy tales didn't exist after year upon year of heartbreak. She'd been hurt too many times to believe in happily ever after so she'd resigned to the fact that the best she could hope for would be nice memories, no bitter breakups or hate just simple indifference, occasionally nostalgia for something that was never quite something.
It was probably easier for her than it should be for any human, to be so detached that is, she always knew when a relationship had to end; work had her travelling all over the country and sometimes further afield. It made it easier. Both parties knew that the end was coming so there were no nasty surprises.
But then Lucas came along.
It wasn't really any different to how her relationships usually start, there'd been a bar, casual flirting and some dancing followed by sex at his hotel room. However as soon as that was over, everything was different.
"God," he laughed. "That was…"
"Amazing?" she questioned with her eyebrows raised at him. She was propped up on her elbow watching him on the other side of the bed, now that the alcohol was wearing off she was beginning to realise that maybe she'd made a mistake. As she looked into those deep blue eyes she saw nothing but honesty and truth; he was the exact type of guy that she could fall for.
"Amazing doesn't even come close," he laughed again and she felt something in her stomach that she immediately squashed because there was no way she would let herself become attached to him, not when he had this power over her after only having met him six hours previously.
But her thoughts were put on hold when he leaned over to kiss her again, she felt herself melt into his arms and suddenly she was questioning whether it even mattered. Would the heartache and pain be worth it? If he could make her feel like this, did it really matter if she had some suffering at the end of the month?
She wouldn't think about it now, not when his lips were travelling down her body and his hands were sliding up and down her legs in a way that made her feel things she'd never felt before.
She didn't realise how long she'd been sat up in bed pondering the inevitable until she felt him stir beside her. His blue eyes snapped open and she had to take a breath, it seemed that the looming expiration date on their time together was making her reckless with her thoughts.
She looked away from him, knowing that if she looked at him for any longer than she was now then she'd do something naïve like ask him to follow her wherever she went. She wouldn't do that to them, they were too special for her to allow them to end in a tragedy that would plague her no matter how hard they tried.
"Peyton."
His voice was so soft that she thought that maybe he didn't want her to hear him, maybe he wanted to avoid today as much as she did and maybe her plan of no heartbreak had failed more miserably than she thought possible.
She turned her head anyway, it was too late anyway.
"Please don't say anything," she begged as she choked back the tears in her eyes.
He sat across from her and put his hands on either side of her face, his eyes never leaving hers as his hands slowly travel to hers and he holds them with so much trepidation that she's terrified about what's going to happen next.
"This doesn't have to be the end."
She let herself ponder over that for a minute, what would happen if she agreed? They'd probably have a long distance relationship for a while, seeing each other in fleeting moments and long conversations on the phone until the pressure of seeing each other so sporadically became too much. Words would be said that couldn't be taken back and she'd be left with nothing but a feeling of failure and loss. Or maybe they'd just drift apart and realise that without the convenience of sex so often, their relationship would fizzle out until they felt trapped and then she'd be left with the realisation that she'd given everything to someone who deserved nothing.
"It does."
She hoped that he realised just how much it killed her to tell him this, it was quite possibly the biggest and most terrifying decision that she'd ever had to make and that was including that time when she was seventeen and her boyfriend with a baby was proposing to her.
He just gulped and nodded, she thought he might even cry, God knows she was about to so she did the only thing she could think of and kissed him with more passion than she ever thought could exist inside her. She knew that this was it; their last kiss and it would be one to remember that was for sure.
He was driving her car, something that usually she wouldn't let someone that she'd only known for three weeks do but since she was blindfolded she didn't really have a choice.
"Please?" she pleaded in her sweetest possible voice while squeezing his hand that was held in hers between them.
She could practically hear him grinning at her impatience.
"We're here."
"And where is here?" she asked curiously, it wasn't as though there were any noises to help her out. If she didn't trust him so damn much she would assume he'd taken her to a remote forest to murder her.
"Two more minutes," he promised.
She heard him get out of the car and a few seconds later the passenger door was opening and he was holding her hand and helping her out of the car, she wanted to take the blindfold off but she wanted to play the game more. The excitement on his face when he'd arrived at her hotel earlier had been more than enough to convince her to wear the blindfold in the first place and she wasn't about to stop it yet.
He stopped suddenly and told her to remove her shoes, which she did as she realised that they were at a beach when a cool breeze gently blew her hair back.
His hand was then pulling her forward until he released it and then the blindfold was removed and she took in the sight before her.
"Happy Birthday," he whispered before kissing her cheek gently.
He then set the picnic basket down on the rug that would protect them from the sand and lit the candles that surrounded them, it wasn't dark yet but one of the many things she'd learned about him over the past three weeks was that he liked to be prepared.
She realised that she hadn't said anything when he looked at her expectedly with his hand outstretched.
She took his hand and sat next to him keeping her thoughts away from the part of her brain that was making her realise that nobody had ever done something this thoughtful for her, ever. Then there was Lucas, a guy she'd known for just three weeks and he was giving her the most extraordinary birthday that she'd ever had.
Later, after the food had been eaten and the sun was setting over the ocean she stood at the water's edge with his arms wrapped around her.
"Can you promise me something?" she whispered, not wanting to break the magic of the moment.
"Anything."
"In ten years, when you're married and have three kids, a dog and the perfect house with the white picket fence…" she didn't realise how hard it was to say until she actually did and from the way he held her that little bit tighter when she said it she thought that maybe it was just as hard for him to hear. "Promise me that when you remember me and us, promise that you'll remember this moment."
"I promise."
"And promise that you won't forget," she pressed. "Promise that you'll think of me sometimes, even if it's just in your wildest dreams."
"I promise."
When he'd made the promise he'd meant it and God he couldn't imagine a moment when he wouldn't remember her. She'd become commonly known by his friends and family as 'the one who'd got away'. He doesn't want to regret it because that's not what she wants but he regrets not fighting for her harder, hell he regrets not fighting for her with everything he had in him. He regrets agreeing to a one-month-only-no-strings-attached relationship with someone that he could have married one day - any day. He tries not to think of that though, he knows she wouldn't want him to.
He does one thing that she would like though and it's the one thing he has no control over; he dreams of her. It's often and it isn't slowing down even though it's been close to a year since he last saw her. He dreams of her on that beach the most, it was perfect, the way she looked in that white cotton summer dress haunted him to this day. So do the other memories of course, but that one, that one of her watching the sunset with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face as the intensity of their time together caught up to her, that was the moment that followed him him the most.
And then he'd remember the nights they'd spent together and how every last one of them made him fall just that little bit more in love with her. They'd had more than their fair share of happiness during that month and after just a few nights away from her he realised that they had the kind of love that you only find once in a lifetime, despite the fact that she never admitted it to him or even to herself he knew full well that what she felt for him was love. He remembered a night when they hadn't had sex but just held each other until they both fell asleep with their minds filled with nothing but blissful silence, it meant more to him than he thought he could ever articulate.
He missed her every single day but this was what she wanted, or what she'd convinced herself she'd wanted anyway.
Sometimes he wondered whether she regretted the way things ended. Sometimes he wondered whether she regretted him.
He hoped not because despite everything he still wishes that she dreams of him, just like he dreams of her.
Hope you liked it, I may add another chapter to it depending on whether people like this one or want more.