~~Chapter 1: Spring Break~~
After 8 months of college, it was finally spring break, and Merton and Tommy decided to spend their break by hanging with Lori. They were all sitting at the local cafe talking about life.
Merton: Spring break is the best! No weekly exams, no lack of sleep...just fun and adventure!
Tommy: Yes Merton, we know. Why are you so excited it's the 1st spring break?
Merton: I like college and all, even the girls, but I just can't pass in my exams, and every guy in college has a girlfriend, even you!
Lori: I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm not complaining!
(A girl walks up to Merton)
Girl: Hi Merton! I'm Jenna Mangor.
Merton: Hi! What's up? *Smiles sweetly and softly*
Jenna: Well, I was wondering if you wanna be my date for Saturday night?
Merton: The big dance? Sure!
Jenna: Great! Bye Merton!
Merton: Bye!
(Jenna walks out of the joint)
Merton: Wow!
Lori: (Looks surprised) Wow is right...I'm the only girl in college without a date!
Tommy: Alright! Your 1st date...I thought this day would never come!
Merton: (Looking puzzled) Thanks, I think!
Lori: I'm gonna go have lunch at Sonic.
Tommy: Ok. Bring us back something too?
Lori: Got any money?
Tommy: No, but...
Lori: Just kidding!
Merton: I think I'll go meet up with Jenna...you 2 kids have fun!
Lori: Wanna join me?
Tommy: Sure!
~~Chapter 2: The Crush~~
Merton: Hey Jenna, wait up!
Jenna: Merton, I didn't expect to see you again so soon!
Merton: Well neither did I! Uh, I mean see you!
Jenna: (laughs) You're too cute...I also hear you're a goth...hot goth actually...
Merton: (smiles) Well, yes I am! I'm all of those!
Jenna: Wanna go see a movie tonight?
Merton: Sure! Which one?
Jenna: Well, don't think I'm crazy, but I wanna see the one where Mel Gibson fights all those aliens!
Merton: Alien attack? I wanna see that too!
Jenna: Great! I'll see you tonight!
Merton: Bye!
(Tommy and Lori walk up)
Lori: What happened?
Merton: We're going to the movies tonight!
Tommy: Wow Merton...you're becoming popular! I've asked Julie, Manny, Crissy, and Pam to the dance and they said no...
Merton: (giggles silently) I'm sorry about that!
Lori: I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna go back to my dorm and lie down. Later!
Merton and Tommy: Bye.
Tommy: I guess it's just us now.
Merton: Actually, Tommy, I think I'm going to go back to my dorm and think about tonight! Seeya!
Tommy: Bye...
(Tommy and Merton walk in seperate directions)
~~Chapter 3: Nightmare begins~~
Tommy: (sees Jenna and calls out her name) Jenna...what are you doing?
(Jenna turns around, and that's when Tommy realizes Jenna is a vampire)
Jenna: So...you decided to snoop around?
Tommy: No, I was just going for a walk...
Jenna: Where's Merton?
Tommy: Why?
Jenna: Don't you care about your friend?
Tommy: What did you do with him?
Jenna: (big laughs) Come with me...
(Tommy follows Jenna into a dark warehouse where he sees a box wiggling)
Tommy: (goes to the box and opens it) MERTON? Are you ok?
Merton: Oo ohm on nee.
Tommy: What? Oh! (Untapes Merton's mouth)
Merton: Jenna's a vampire!
Tommy: (looks in Jenna's location) Yea, I know!
Jenna: Having fun yet, Merton?
Merton: Hehehehehehe NO! I'm glad we met and all, but I think I'm just going to get going...Sarah Michelle Gellar's on Conan in an hour...so...bye!
(Merton runs to the door, while Jenna runs toward him)
Tommy: Merton! LOOK OUT!
(Tommy runs toward Merton and knocks him down before Jenna attacks)
Jenna: Whoever knows my secret can't live!
Merton: But...you wanted me to know...so does that mean you wanted me dead?
Jenna: Right...and also, have you met my friends?
(Lots of evil vampires appear out of nowhere)
Jenna: Hello, my friends! Have you met dearest Tommy and Merton?
Vampire #1: No, but they look yummy!
Merton: (looking freaked out, but then smiles) Really? Wow!
Tommy: Uh, Merton, I think you should dump Jenna and let's get out of here!
Merton: Ummm...she already dumped me when she brought me here!
Tommy: Oh! Well in that case, let's dump her and get out of here!
Jenna: There's only one way you can escape...and that's by staking us all...and you have 50 less stakes than you need...what a shame!
Tommy: (turns into a werewolf) We are getting out of here and that's final!
(Over 20 vampires surround Merton and Tommy)
Merton: What do we do now, smart one?
Tommy: 1st, stay alive...2nd, get away from this vampire house!
(When Tommy isn't aware, Jenna grabs Merton)
Merton: Uh, Tommy, I could really use your help right about now!
Tommy: Oh yea, sorry Merton...
(Tommy dozes off and Merton is more scared then ever)
Jenna: He's in a vampire's trance...he can never escape it...unless you can save him...but in order for you to save him, you'll have to be saved by him...
Merton: Well I'm not giving up just yet...
(Merton runs for Jenna and knocks her down)
Merton: By the way, Saturday night is cancelled...Adios Amigo!!
(Merton strikes and stakes Jenna)
Merton: Anyone else?...
(All other vampires shake their heads and flee)
Merton: Who's the coward now?
(Tommy comes out of the vampire's trance)
Tommy: What just happened?
Merton: Well, I killed my girlfriend and the other vampires were so scared, they chickened out and ran off...
Tommy: So that's how it went down?
Merton: Yep...
Tommy: Wanna go find Lori and tell her everything?
Merton: Sure!
~~Chapter 4: Jenna's revenge~~
Lori: So, you're saying you staked Jenna and scared off the other vampires?
Merton: (shakes head) Yes.
Lori: (Raises eyebrow) I'm impressed...
Tommy: It's getting late...I think we should get back o our dorms...
Merton: Yea, me too, I'm really tired.
Lori: Ok. Bye guys!
(Lori goes the opposite way of Merton and Tommy)
Tommy: It's been quite a day today!
Merton: Yes, it has. Next time I go out with a girl, I'm gonna make sure she's human...
Tommy: Yea, that's a good thing.
(Tommy and Merton walk in the door and get ready for bed)
Tommy: (yawns) I am beat...I'm about ready to pass out!
(Merton walks out of the bathroom)
Tommy: What the...?
Merton: What?
Tommy: Why are you wearing dinosaur pajamas?
Merton: Ummm...don't ask.
Tommy: (brushes it off) Ok, I won't
(Merton walks to his bed, opposite Tommy's, and reads a book)
Tommy: What are you reading?
Merton: A book of magic spells.
Tommy: Oh, ok!
Merton: (studies the spells carefully) Venoculouserlie...
Tommy: What?
Merton: (laughs)
Tommy: What?
Merton: Look in the mirror!
(Tommy runs over and looks)
Tommy: (screams) You turned me into an ELF? Oh, now you're dead...figuratively speaking, of course...
(Tommy walks over and slaps Merton)
Merton: What was that for? Oh...that...
(There was a sudden knock on the window)
Tommy: What was that?
Merton: I don't know...let's go see.
(Tommy and Merton walk to the window, and to their surprise it was...)
Merton: JENNA? I staked you!
Jenna: (flies up to the window from the ground) Oh yes, you did, but didn't I tell you?
Merton: Tell me what?
Jenna: I'm an immortal vampire...I can never die...
Merton: But I stakes you! You turned to dust...
Tommy: This reminds me of when I dated Abigail in the 10th grade...I dumped her, then we got together again, then she dumped me, then she kept coming back to me and I kept saying no...She had her big ex-boyfriends give me bad wedgies all day that day...it was romantic...
Merton: TOMMY! Abigail was a cheerleader, not an immortal, blood-hungry, flesh-eating vampire!
Tommy: What's the difference?
Merton: (sighs) Just...nevermind right now...Jenna, get out of here...now!
Jenna: Why, I'm hungry...
Merton: There's some left-over salomy in the refridgerator...
Jenna: Thanks, but I break out in hives when I eat salomy...
Merton: So...
Jenna: So...when that happens, I want revenge on anyone who makes me mad...
Tommy: (tries to turn into a werewolf, but turns into head elf instead)
Jenna: I didn't know Christmas came early this year...looks like one of Santa's little helpers is missing!
Tommy: Merton, when we get out of this, you're toast!
Merton: Scary, but fair!
Jenna: Oh, who says you're getting out of this?
-brief pause-
Lori: Guys! Do you need help?
Merton: No, we can do this alone...of course we need help!
(Lori throws a stake at Jenna, only this time she actually dies)
Jenna: Nooooo!
(stake hits Jenna)
Merton: Good job Lori.
Lori: Thanks.
Merton: BOOYA!
~~Chapter 5: Tommy's revenge~~
Tommy: It was quite a night tonight!
Merton: Yes, it was. Let's never do this again.
Tommy: I found a spell that we can say together so I won't be an elf anymore.
Merton: Ok.
Merton and Tommy: Oknad, oomba, teemob, tona, ongee, mosey, ling!
(moment of silence)
Merton: It worked!
(Tommy silently coughs to get Merton's attention)
Merton: Ahhh! I'm a pig!
Tommy: Yea, if only you could hear yourself at the dinner table...
(Merton gives Tommy 'the look')
Merton: No, Tommy, I really am a pig! Look at my nose and tail! *oink* And my oinks!
(Tommy laughs and Lori walks over)
Lori: Looks like you guys...what in the world...What happened to you Merton?
(Merton points to Tommy)
Lori: Ohhh! Well, let's just go back to our dorms and we can change Merton back tomorrow.
(Everyone walks back to their dorms for a good night's rest)
After 8 months of college, it was finally spring break, and Merton and Tommy decided to spend their break by hanging with Lori. They were all sitting at the local cafe talking about life.
Merton: Spring break is the best! No weekly exams, no lack of sleep...just fun and adventure!
Tommy: Yes Merton, we know. Why are you so excited it's the 1st spring break?
Merton: I like college and all, even the girls, but I just can't pass in my exams, and every guy in college has a girlfriend, even you!
Lori: I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm not complaining!
(A girl walks up to Merton)
Girl: Hi Merton! I'm Jenna Mangor.
Merton: Hi! What's up? *Smiles sweetly and softly*
Jenna: Well, I was wondering if you wanna be my date for Saturday night?
Merton: The big dance? Sure!
Jenna: Great! Bye Merton!
Merton: Bye!
(Jenna walks out of the joint)
Merton: Wow!
Lori: (Looks surprised) Wow is right...I'm the only girl in college without a date!
Tommy: Alright! Your 1st date...I thought this day would never come!
Merton: (Looking puzzled) Thanks, I think!
Lori: I'm gonna go have lunch at Sonic.
Tommy: Ok. Bring us back something too?
Lori: Got any money?
Tommy: No, but...
Lori: Just kidding!
Merton: I think I'll go meet up with Jenna...you 2 kids have fun!
Lori: Wanna join me?
Tommy: Sure!
~~Chapter 2: The Crush~~
Merton: Hey Jenna, wait up!
Jenna: Merton, I didn't expect to see you again so soon!
Merton: Well neither did I! Uh, I mean see you!
Jenna: (laughs) You're too cute...I also hear you're a goth...hot goth actually...
Merton: (smiles) Well, yes I am! I'm all of those!
Jenna: Wanna go see a movie tonight?
Merton: Sure! Which one?
Jenna: Well, don't think I'm crazy, but I wanna see the one where Mel Gibson fights all those aliens!
Merton: Alien attack? I wanna see that too!
Jenna: Great! I'll see you tonight!
Merton: Bye!
(Tommy and Lori walk up)
Lori: What happened?
Merton: We're going to the movies tonight!
Tommy: Wow Merton...you're becoming popular! I've asked Julie, Manny, Crissy, and Pam to the dance and they said no...
Merton: (giggles silently) I'm sorry about that!
Lori: I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna go back to my dorm and lie down. Later!
Merton and Tommy: Bye.
Tommy: I guess it's just us now.
Merton: Actually, Tommy, I think I'm going to go back to my dorm and think about tonight! Seeya!
Tommy: Bye...
(Tommy and Merton walk in seperate directions)
~~Chapter 3: Nightmare begins~~
Tommy: (sees Jenna and calls out her name) Jenna...what are you doing?
(Jenna turns around, and that's when Tommy realizes Jenna is a vampire)
Jenna: So...you decided to snoop around?
Tommy: No, I was just going for a walk...
Jenna: Where's Merton?
Tommy: Why?
Jenna: Don't you care about your friend?
Tommy: What did you do with him?
Jenna: (big laughs) Come with me...
(Tommy follows Jenna into a dark warehouse where he sees a box wiggling)
Tommy: (goes to the box and opens it) MERTON? Are you ok?
Merton: Oo ohm on nee.
Tommy: What? Oh! (Untapes Merton's mouth)
Merton: Jenna's a vampire!
Tommy: (looks in Jenna's location) Yea, I know!
Jenna: Having fun yet, Merton?
Merton: Hehehehehehe NO! I'm glad we met and all, but I think I'm just going to get going...Sarah Michelle Gellar's on Conan in an hour...so...bye!
(Merton runs to the door, while Jenna runs toward him)
Tommy: Merton! LOOK OUT!
(Tommy runs toward Merton and knocks him down before Jenna attacks)
Jenna: Whoever knows my secret can't live!
Merton: But...you wanted me to know...so does that mean you wanted me dead?
Jenna: Right...and also, have you met my friends?
(Lots of evil vampires appear out of nowhere)
Jenna: Hello, my friends! Have you met dearest Tommy and Merton?
Vampire #1: No, but they look yummy!
Merton: (looking freaked out, but then smiles) Really? Wow!
Tommy: Uh, Merton, I think you should dump Jenna and let's get out of here!
Merton: Ummm...she already dumped me when she brought me here!
Tommy: Oh! Well in that case, let's dump her and get out of here!
Jenna: There's only one way you can escape...and that's by staking us all...and you have 50 less stakes than you need...what a shame!
Tommy: (turns into a werewolf) We are getting out of here and that's final!
(Over 20 vampires surround Merton and Tommy)
Merton: What do we do now, smart one?
Tommy: 1st, stay alive...2nd, get away from this vampire house!
(When Tommy isn't aware, Jenna grabs Merton)
Merton: Uh, Tommy, I could really use your help right about now!
Tommy: Oh yea, sorry Merton...
(Tommy dozes off and Merton is more scared then ever)
Jenna: He's in a vampire's trance...he can never escape it...unless you can save him...but in order for you to save him, you'll have to be saved by him...
Merton: Well I'm not giving up just yet...
(Merton runs for Jenna and knocks her down)
Merton: By the way, Saturday night is cancelled...Adios Amigo!!
(Merton strikes and stakes Jenna)
Merton: Anyone else?...
(All other vampires shake their heads and flee)
Merton: Who's the coward now?
(Tommy comes out of the vampire's trance)
Tommy: What just happened?
Merton: Well, I killed my girlfriend and the other vampires were so scared, they chickened out and ran off...
Tommy: So that's how it went down?
Merton: Yep...
Tommy: Wanna go find Lori and tell her everything?
Merton: Sure!
~~Chapter 4: Jenna's revenge~~
Lori: So, you're saying you staked Jenna and scared off the other vampires?
Merton: (shakes head) Yes.
Lori: (Raises eyebrow) I'm impressed...
Tommy: It's getting late...I think we should get back o our dorms...
Merton: Yea, me too, I'm really tired.
Lori: Ok. Bye guys!
(Lori goes the opposite way of Merton and Tommy)
Tommy: It's been quite a day today!
Merton: Yes, it has. Next time I go out with a girl, I'm gonna make sure she's human...
Tommy: Yea, that's a good thing.
(Tommy and Merton walk in the door and get ready for bed)
Tommy: (yawns) I am beat...I'm about ready to pass out!
(Merton walks out of the bathroom)
Tommy: What the...?
Merton: What?
Tommy: Why are you wearing dinosaur pajamas?
Merton: Ummm...don't ask.
Tommy: (brushes it off) Ok, I won't
(Merton walks to his bed, opposite Tommy's, and reads a book)
Tommy: What are you reading?
Merton: A book of magic spells.
Tommy: Oh, ok!
Merton: (studies the spells carefully) Venoculouserlie...
Tommy: What?
Merton: (laughs)
Tommy: What?
Merton: Look in the mirror!
(Tommy runs over and looks)
Tommy: (screams) You turned me into an ELF? Oh, now you're dead...figuratively speaking, of course...
(Tommy walks over and slaps Merton)
Merton: What was that for? Oh...that...
(There was a sudden knock on the window)
Tommy: What was that?
Merton: I don't know...let's go see.
(Tommy and Merton walk to the window, and to their surprise it was...)
Merton: JENNA? I staked you!
Jenna: (flies up to the window from the ground) Oh yes, you did, but didn't I tell you?
Merton: Tell me what?
Jenna: I'm an immortal vampire...I can never die...
Merton: But I stakes you! You turned to dust...
Tommy: This reminds me of when I dated Abigail in the 10th grade...I dumped her, then we got together again, then she dumped me, then she kept coming back to me and I kept saying no...She had her big ex-boyfriends give me bad wedgies all day that day...it was romantic...
Merton: TOMMY! Abigail was a cheerleader, not an immortal, blood-hungry, flesh-eating vampire!
Tommy: What's the difference?
Merton: (sighs) Just...nevermind right now...Jenna, get out of here...now!
Jenna: Why, I'm hungry...
Merton: There's some left-over salomy in the refridgerator...
Jenna: Thanks, but I break out in hives when I eat salomy...
Merton: So...
Jenna: So...when that happens, I want revenge on anyone who makes me mad...
Tommy: (tries to turn into a werewolf, but turns into head elf instead)
Jenna: I didn't know Christmas came early this year...looks like one of Santa's little helpers is missing!
Tommy: Merton, when we get out of this, you're toast!
Merton: Scary, but fair!
Jenna: Oh, who says you're getting out of this?
-brief pause-
Lori: Guys! Do you need help?
Merton: No, we can do this alone...of course we need help!
(Lori throws a stake at Jenna, only this time she actually dies)
Jenna: Nooooo!
(stake hits Jenna)
Merton: Good job Lori.
Lori: Thanks.
Merton: BOOYA!
~~Chapter 5: Tommy's revenge~~
Tommy: It was quite a night tonight!
Merton: Yes, it was. Let's never do this again.
Tommy: I found a spell that we can say together so I won't be an elf anymore.
Merton: Ok.
Merton and Tommy: Oknad, oomba, teemob, tona, ongee, mosey, ling!
(moment of silence)
Merton: It worked!
(Tommy silently coughs to get Merton's attention)
Merton: Ahhh! I'm a pig!
Tommy: Yea, if only you could hear yourself at the dinner table...
(Merton gives Tommy 'the look')
Merton: No, Tommy, I really am a pig! Look at my nose and tail! *oink* And my oinks!
(Tommy laughs and Lori walks over)
Lori: Looks like you guys...what in the world...What happened to you Merton?
(Merton points to Tommy)
Lori: Ohhh! Well, let's just go back to our dorms and we can change Merton back tomorrow.
(Everyone walks back to their dorms for a good night's rest)