Contains some rape/non-con and mpreg, so avoid if that's not your thing. This is probably the strangest thing I've ever written, so bear with me. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Thanks for reading. :)
"It keeps growing, and I can feel it breathe. I have been trying to behave myself. It keeps growing, and I can feel it breathe. I have been trying to tolerate you."
-Trent Reznor
Part One
Will Graham had been a patient at the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane for several weeks and with the encephalitis relinquishing its grip on his troubled mind he thought the strangeness of his dreams would subside. They had not, in fact since his admittance they had only increased in number and intensity. The phantasms that nightly plagued his dreams, were of an increasing singular nature.
He was visited every night by the same monstrous creature, a creature whose skin was black as tar and whose features were without human characteristics. Its body was gaunt and emaciated, its legs ended in cloven hooves and it bore long and lethally sharp claws. But the penultimate horror of the creature were the set of antlers that protruded grotesquely from the otherwise human skull.
Will had seen the creature many times before its true nature was revealed to him. The creature and Hannibal Lecter, whether he be man or devil, were one and the same. The face and voice from which he had drawn so much comfort had twisted and transformed into a source of unutterable horror. Sitting alone in his cramped cell, waiting for Chilton to continue his pathetic attempts at psychiatry, Will wished only to stop the monster from taking any more lives.
To kill Hannibal Lecter though, would be impossible. You see, Will was a man who loved ferociously and endlessly, and he couldn't, despite what he knew, bring himself to kill the man he loved. Not that he had much opportunity to take his life, locked away as he was. He tried to hate him, tried to fear him, but the shreds of lingering affection and fondness remained. When Hannibal deigned to grace him with his presence, Will couldn't help but feel his spirits lift at the sight.
The absurdity of it was not lost on him, the tenderness of his feelings toward the man responsible for his imprisonment. The Hannibal that visited him in his dreams, the monster that lurked beneath the perfectly tailored human suit and haunted Will's nightmares was in fact the man he had let so far inside. He had let him know him in a way very few people ever had and Will was almost unwilling to consolidate the versions of the man. He wasn't even sure he truly knew who Hannibal was.
It was raining that night, and there was a chill in the air that seemed to work its way into Will's bones, making him ache and shiver. It was late when sleep finally found him, but it was fitful and he dreamed of terrible things he would not remember come the following day. Hannibal came to him as he so often did, but the real Hannibal not the creature who so frequented his dreams. He was dressed impeccably as always, and he spoke with a gentle tenderness that Will had never heard in his voice before.
Hannibal was in the cell with him, walking toward him assuredly. Will felt no fear, only a curiosity, wondering what this could be. Neither of them spoke and Hannibal took a seat beside Will on the metal cot. It was several minutes before Hannibal spoke. "Will, something is going to happen now and I need you to know that it must happen and it will not be a thing that you do not wish for."
"And what is this something?" asked Will.
In answer Hannibal leaned over and kissed Will firmly on the mouth. Will gasped in shock, but the sound was devoured by Hannibal's hungry mouth. Will kissed him back, tentatively at first but with increasing vigor. He couldn't deny that this was something he had longed for, but it felt wrong and not because of what he now knew about the man running his hands so softly through Will's hair.
Will pulled back enough to speak. "This isn't real, this is a dream." he said.
"Then it is a good dream." replied Hannibal pulling him close and kissing him again. Hannibal reached for the fastenings of Will's drab grey jumpsuit, undoing the buttons and pulling it down to his waist. Will began undressing Hannibal unmindful of the expensiveness of the garments. He tore the coat from Hannibal's shoulders and began tugging at the burgundy tie. Several seconds passed as they frantically undressed each other, the only sound in the concrete cell their heavy breathing.
Both of them naked from the waist up they paused for a moment, Will running his hands over the planes of Hannibal's chest, enjoying the warmth of his skin, aching to be touched by him. Hannibal obliged him, trailing his fingertips down Will's stomach. Will arched his back and let out a low moan. Hannibal laid him down on the narrow cot and finished undressing him. He looked down at Will, laid out before him and smiled a knowing smile that would have alarmed Will if he had not been so aroused. His cock stood upright, dripping precum and Hannibal looked at it appreciatively before rising from the bed to remove the rest of his clothes.
Hannibal climbed back onto the too small bed and settled between Will's legs, their bodies flush he kissed Will slow and sweet. He reached down between Will's legs running the pad of his thumb over his quivering hole, relishing the gasp he drew from Will's lips. Hannibal slicked two of his fingers and slipped them inside Will, who arched his back, hissing at the burn and stretch. Hannibal worked the digits slowly in and out until Will had adjusted and after a few seconds he removed his fingers and leaned back on his heels.
He looked down at Will, flushed and sweating, he could smell the need on him. Hannibal slicked his aching cock and moved back into position between Will's legs. Hannibal lined himself up and inched in, stretching Will. It was almost too much too fast for Will and the pain of it equaled the pleasure. It was good though and he let out a moan as he wrapped his legs around Hannibal's waist, pulling him deeper. Hannibal bottomed out and paused for a moment, looking into Will's eyes as he felt Will's heat sheathing him.
"This was meant to happen." Hannibal murmured quietly. "It could never have been any other way."
"I know." Replied Will, trustingly. Although he didn't know, not yet and the truth may be too much for even him to handle.
Hannibal slipped out of Will and thrust back in with a snap of his hips. He set a rapid pace and Will clung to him, taking everything he gave and still wanting more. Will's moans echoed off the stone walls, his cock lay hot and heavy against his stomach. Hannibal reached between them and began stroking Will in time with his thrusts. Hannibal fucked him harder as he leaned down to kiss him, drinking down every sweet sound he made. Will was so close and he knew he wouldn't last much longer. A few more thrusts had him painting their chests with his come, a strangled moan escaping his lips.
Hannibal pulled out of Will and roughly turned him over, Will bonelessly complied. Hannibal pulled Will to his knees and pressed himself against Will's entrance while loosely wrapping a hand around his throat. "Close your eyes." He whispered against Will's ear, his voice sounding hoarse.
Will did as he was asked and something in the air seemed to change. A tension was there that had been before, he opened his eyes and tried to turn to catch a glimpse of Hannibal. Before he could make any movement, he felt hands on his hips and thought Hannibal must still be there. It was a second before he realized something was wrong, they weren't hands the fingers were too long, too sharp. He looked down to see that two sets of foot long claws gripped his hips where Hannibal's softly manicure hands had been a moment before.
He tried to pull away, but the grip was too strong. He looked at the ground in front of him and saw the shadow of the monstrosity that held him in its grip. He saw the too narrow shoulders and the outline of the hideous antlers. He screamed and began thrashing, but it was useless, his dream had become a nightmare. A second later he felt it, where Hannibal's cock had been teasing his entrance a moment before, there not lay a hard weight against him. With dawning horror he screamed in desperation. He prayed that he would wake up, that it would end, but his prayers went unanswered.
The beast mounted him, its cock too big, splitting him open. The pain was agonizing and he felt blood trickle down the insides of his thighs. It moved within him, brutally and without mercy. It fucked him like an animal, taking what it wanted, Will began to weep in earnest. It only lasted a few minutes, minutes that seemed like an eternity. With an inhuman growl it spilled its seed inside Will, filling him up, burning him from within. It slipped out of him, leaving him there curled up on his metal cot, with blood and semen seeping out of his torn hole. Will lay there wishing he could wake up for a long time before everything, mercifully went black.
Will awoke the following morning shaking, the shreds of the nightmare still clinging to him. He felt nauseas and when he arose to get to the sink on the other side of his cramped cell, he felt an excruciating pain shoot through his backside. The blood stains in his boxers and the pain did not lie. Will lay back in bed, trembling and afraid, a peculiar feeling in his stomach.
"I thought maybe, I thought this would go away, but it continues. The only constant, every day, stronger."
-Trent Reznor
Part Two
Will was not a patient at the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane for much longer following that night. The true Chesapeake Ripper, it seemed had had a change of heart about his incarceration. The reasons for which were still a mystery to Will. He was grateful though to be going home, to his dogs, to familiarity, to comfort. The cold stone walls of his cell had grown increasingly hostile since the nightmare that had left him bloodied and aching.
He had refused Hannibal Lecter's numerous attempts to visit. Though he knew the dream had not been real, or so he had convinced himself. Something inside him, the part which once harbored affection for the man, now balked at the thought of his presence. There was a permanent sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't seem to rid himself of the unclean feeling the dream had left him with. He hoped that when he was home the sharpness of the memories would fade and sink back into a state of half-remembrance. He hoped too that the nightmares that had continued to plague his slumbers would subside when was once more safely in his own bed.
The moment he stepped through his door a sense of calm washed over him, one as he had not felt since his imprisonment. He was joyfully reunited with his dogs and he settled back into something resembling normalcy. He was grateful for the fact that there was no awkwardness between himself and Jack and the others. They apologized for doubting him and they all moved on. Will was especially glad to have Alana back in his life, he had missed her more than he thought he would and she was the only one left he could talk to. He had continued to avoid Hannibal and they all just assumed that he still doubted him. Alana had on several occasions tried to get them together to try and work things out. Will refused every time and after a few weeks she stopped trying.
In the month since his release there had begun a change in Will. The unpleasant feeling in his gut continued and as time wore on he found himself awoken some mornings by intense nausea that would only abate after he'd been violently ill. He had decided to see a doctor about it when he got the time, maybe he'd picked something up at the hospital, a virus perhaps. For the time being it was just an inconvenience, something he didn't think much of. Something else changed in that month as well, Hannibal Lecter finally grew tired of being ignored. He showed up one afternoon on Will's front porch completely out of the blue. Will remained still and quiet as Hannibal knocked, hoping that he'd give up eventually, thinking that Will wasn't home.
"I know you're in there Will," Hannibal called through the door loud enough for Will to hear. "You can't hide from me forever you know."
Will didn't move.
"If you don't let me in, I'll find my own way in and I assure you it will be less enjoyable for the both of us that way."
Will dragged himself from the chair he'd been sitting in and slowly made his way to the door. He opened it to reveal Hannibal impeccably dressed as always. Will stepped back allowing Hannibal to walk past him into the house. Will tried to suppress the involuntary shudder that passed through him at Hannibal's proximity, but was unable to. Hannibal crossed the room and sat himself in the chair recently vacated by Will. Will hesitated a moment before he followed and sat in the chair opposite Hannibal. The silence that followed was lengthy and pregnant with an uncomfortable tension.
"You've been avoiding me." Hannibal said after a while.
"Have I?" asked Will with an attempt at casualness. "I hadn't noticed."
The corners of Hannibal's mouth lifted in an unmistakable smirk. "I think we both know what this is about."
Will tensed, but said nothing.
"By now I'm sure you've convinced yourself it didn't happen, that it was a dream, well I can assure you that it was not." Hannibal's voice was low and calming, but the words coming out of him brought the horror of that night rushing back, the calmness he had managed to regain since coming home shattered around him.
Will's pulse quickened, he wanted to call Hannibal a liar, wanted to scream, but no sound escaped his lips. He just sat perfectly still, breathing heavily and wising this was a dream he could wake from. "What are you?" he asked after a painfully long silence.
"I am not human, as I'm sure you have suspected at one time or another." Hannibal said with an air of nonchalance.
"Are you the Devil?"
"Nothing so dramatic," Hannibal told him. "Merely a demon."
Will laughed, a harsh bark of disbelief. "Well, I guess that makes me an angel then." He said with a forced smile.
"Perhaps it does." Hannibal leaned forward in his chair before he spoke again. "You must know that what happened, what I did-"
"What you did?" asked Will incredulously. "You raped me."
"I know that, and for what it's worth I do regret the pain I caused you."
"But not the act."
"No."
"Why are you here?" asked Will trying to stay calm while the reality which he had been trying to piece together since the cure of his encephalitis began melting away, like one of Dalí's absurd clocks.
"There is something you need to know, something more shocking than my true nature."
Will didn't trust Hannibal as far as he could throw him and wanted to believe that this whole thing was just another manipulation technique, but the vividness of his memories would not allow it. "What could be more shocking than that?" asked Will at last, lacking the strength to doubt anymore.
"You carry my child within you." Hannibal said quietly.
Will was sure he misheard him. "I what?" he asked.
"You heard me. The nausea, the illness you've been experiencing is not a virus."
"What is it then, morning sickness?" asked Will his doubt redoubling.
"Something like it." Hannibal said. "I know you don't believe me."
"No."
"You will."
Hannibal rose from his seat and made his way to the door, Will didn't move. "There will come a day when you know the truth. On that day I want you to call me. Tell no one, and don't try to run, I'll find you. Goodbye Will." And with that Hannibal was gone.
Two more months passed and Will continued feeling ill and not quite right. He told no one of it though, Hannibal's veiled threats ringing in his ears. He tried desperately not to pay attention to any of it, hoping that if he ignored it long enough it would go away. His nightmares persisted becoming more and more strange as the weeks passed. He worked cases for Jack and continued teaching, making sure that he never crossed paths with Hannibal. Things were almost returning to normal, but one morning as he stepped out of the shower he noticed something. His usually flat abdomen appeared slightly bloated and distended. He brushed it off, but the sight continued to haunt his mind. Four months after leaving the hospital, things became horribly clear to him. Will could no longer feign ignorance. It was time to call Hannibal.
"Now I know what this is all about. Now I know exactly what I am."
-Trent Reznor
Part Three
At Hannibal's request Will made the drive to Baltimore to see him. Will hated every mile that brought him closer to that house, but he never slowed, and never stopped. He stood outside the door for several minutes before gathering the strength he needed to knock. At Hannibal's behest, he let himself in. He found his host sitting leisurely with a glass of red wine, wearing a cream colored shirt and that same burgundy tie, dressed in flesh and blood. Will took his usual seat opposite Hannibal and waited for the other man to speak.
"I expected you sooner." he said at last.
"Well I'm here." said Will.
"I take this to mean you believe what I told you before."
"I don't know what I believe anymore."
"I know you don't trust me, but everything is going to be all right."
Will didn't respond, he'd had enough of Hannibal's assurances. "What happens now?" he asked, changing the subject.
"I'd like you to stay here until the child is born, obviously we'll have to keep you away from prying eyes. I know that Jack is quite obtuse, but I don't think this is something that would escape his notice."
Will just nodded. He was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to wake up and find that the last four months had been a terrible dream. Hannibal showed him to a spare bedroom that would be his for the next five months. Will sat in the edge of the bed trying to work out where his life had gone so wrong. He knew of course, the day he'd met Hannibal.
"I was in love with you, you know." Will said in a small, sad voice as Hannibal turned to go.
"I know." he said.
"If you had told me the truth before, things could have been different."
"I could not take the chance." said Hannibal. "But if it means anything to you, I too wish things could be different."
Hannibal left him to his thoughts, which spun through his head in dizzying patterns. Will kicked his shoes off and lay back on the bed fully clothed. Sleep found him quickly, and was mercifully absent of nightmares.
After his arrival Will and Hannibal fell into a routine that was almost appallingly domestic. Will continued working cases for the BAU team, wearing multiple layers to conceal his burgeoning bump. Hannibal was the most surprising of all, hovering over Will day and night, making sure he was comfortable. He reminded Will of a mother hen. They never spoke of what Hannibal was, or why he had been compelled to do what he did. Hannibal attempted to broach the subject a few times, but Will always stopped him. He had enough to worry about and he was loathe to add anything else to his already oversized burden. So they ignored the absurdity of their situation and Will's peace of mind remained relatively intact. Against his own better judgment, Will found himself relaxing, even enjoying Hannibal's attention. At one point he had wanted this, funny how life works out sometimes.
When Will's belly grew too large to hide, Hannibal concocted a story about Will's delicate state of mind of late and his need for a break. He would be spending quite a long spell in Florida, fishing and enjoying the sun, doctor's orders, he had said. Jack was disappointed to lose him for so long, but eventually agreed that it was in Will's best interest. Alana agreed wholeheartedly with Hannibal's suggestion, wishing Will a wonderful time. And then there was nothing to do, but wait. In his eighth month, Will was enormous. A fact which he reminded Hannibal of daily. It was late in the evening and Hannibal was tenderly rubbing cocoa butter lotion over Will's belly, to help with the stretch marks that had become alarmingly prominent.
"This is ridiculous," Will complained as Hannibal deftly slathered more lotion over Will's abdomen. "I'm enormous, how to women do this?"
"You are radiant." Hannibal said with a soft smile.
Will snorted out a laugh. "If you say so."
Hannibal's expression became serious as he recapped the bottle of lotion and wiped the excess from his hands. "Will, there is something I would like to discuss with you." he said somberly. "I'm sure you can guess what it is."
"We've discussed this already." Will said sternly.
"No, you have refused to discuss it." Hannibal countered. "We will have to have this conversation eventually."
Will sighed, a defeated sound. "Fine," he agreed, halfheartedly. "What is it you want to talk about?"
"I want to explain." Hannibal said.
"Then explain." Will challenged.
"You already know what I am, that I am not human." Hannibal began, an uncertainty in his voice that was unlike him. "I will not go into any details right now that I don't have to, but I want to explain what happened that night."
There was a heavy silence before Hannibal began speaking again. "I have lived most of my life as a human, it is not necessary, but I have always preferred it this way. I am not immortal as you may have thought, and my true nature is also the source of my unusual culinary predilections. It is common among my species to require an heir, an offspring of some kind. To fail to produce a child in one's lifetime, is considered a great failure. I am not as young as I once was, and I suppose you could say that I have become more attuned to my internal clock, of late. It is more widely accepted to take a mate of one's own species, but it is not unheard of to take a human partner, and not impossible to choose a human male."
"Clearly." Said Will wryly. "And so you chose me?"
"Yes, I knew the moment I saw first you, how important you would be to me."
"Then why didn't you tell me the truth before, you knew my feelings for you. Why take what I may have chosen to give you?"
"I feared that upon discovering what I am, you would deem me a monster and cut me from your life completely. I had hoped the presence of a child would be a comfort, having a piece of you with me always." Hannibal said, his voice aching with sincerity.
"How romantic," said Will, his tone less harsh. "It doesn't change what you did to me."
"I understand." Hannibal said. "I do not expect you to forgive me. The decision was made in a moment of passion that I am not accustomed to experiencing."
"So you did it because you care?" asked Will his words lacking the bite he had intended them to have.
"I may not be human, but I am capable of emotion, though perhaps in a different capacity than yourself." Hannibal admitted. "Is it so strange a thing to you, that I could love you?"
"Love me?" repeated Will, disbelief clouding his features.
"I have for quite some time been in love with you, but I understand now that I have destroyed the possibility of a relationship between us. However, I do hope that you will choose to remain in our child's life, though I will not ask it of you if you do not wish."
Will's demeanor softened at Hannibal's use of 'our'. "You want me to be a father to it?" Will asked, running a hand over his swollen belly. It had never occurred to him that he would be any kind of parent to the child. He had assumed Hannibal would absolve him of that duty. The thought of being a father warmed his heart.
"I would like that very much." Hannibal said leaning over and placing a hand atop the one that rested on Will's belly. "We could be fathers to this child, and friends to one another, and one day perhaps more."
Will looked Hannibal in the eye, and saw truth and genuine affection there. "Perhaps." He said smiling slightly.
The last month of Will's pregnancy went relatively smoothly. They had set a date for the birth, and Will was exceedingly grateful for Hannibal's unsurpassed surgical skill. As the days dwindled down Will found himself becoming nervous, not for the procedure itself, but for the role he would soon be taking. He also found himself a little saddened. The time he had spent with Hannibal had not been as terrible as he had thought it would be. In fact he was going to miss it. Will was finding it harder and harder to hate Hannibal as of late and wondered what that meant for them. Could he really forgive him for what he had done? He couldn't deny that a relationship with Hannibal had been something he had wanted very badly, but things had changed. What he had to decide now was if they had changed too much.
The day finally arrived, and Hannibal did everything he could to make Will comfortable. He had enough anesthetics so that there would be no pain, and Hannibal's skill would ensure that there would be minimal scarring. All Will had to do now was trust Hannibal to safely deliver their child. The procedure itself was not a difficult one, and took no more than 45 minutes to complete. After Hannibal had removed the baby, he lay still waiting to hear it cry, waiting for proof that this was actually happening. After several tense seconds he heard an infant's feeble cries, and knew that everything was alright. Will was unable to see the baby until Hannibal had finished suturing the incisions, but the moment he finished he brought the baby to Will, wrapped in a blanket.
"It's a girl." Hannibal said as he laid the infant down on Will's chest.
Will looked at the shriveled pink face, and was certain that he had never seen anything more magnificent in his life. "She's beautiful." He said, throat tightening with emotion. He looked to Hannibal, who looked at him with such love in his eyes that Will thought his heart might burst.
"What shall we call her?" asked Hannibal.
"I have a name picked out." Will said a little uncertainly.
"Well let's hear it then." Hannibal replied with a smile.
"Mischa." Will said. "What do you think?"
Will watched the recognition register on Hannibal's face, and saw his eyes fill with tears. "I love it." Hannibal said kissing Mischa's forehead.
"Thank you Will." He said after attempting and failing to regain some of his composure.
In response Will pulled Hannibal closer and kissed him, tasting tears and joy on his lips, their daughter nestled safely between them. "I love you." Will murmured against Hannibal's mouth.
"And I love you more than life itself."
Will had made his choice, he chose love.