Title: Regret
Summary: He should have been feeling triumphant, but when he stared into the now forever changed eyes, he could only feel regret. 6927, Drabble-ish
Pairing: 6927
Rating: T (Angsty times ahead. Well. As angsty as I can write.)
Word count: 719 (and a bit)
Disclaimer: I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn, otherwise a lot of…things…would be canon…kufufu…
A/N: I started this ages ago, abandoned, read over it, and then rewrote it~! 6927 is my OTP – seriously, it should be much more popular…I mean, doesn't the fact that Mukuro says 'I'm going to possess your body, Sawada Tsunayoshi' say anything to you?
Regret
Even as a young child, Mukuro hadn't known love. Raised in an experimental factory of the Estraneo family, he had been brought up to fear adults and obey them – it had taken several years to discard that ingrain vulnerability underneath all of his taunts and playfulness. And at that, all that was left of him wasn't human – oh, it was, but barely. It functioned and that was enough for him. He tried not to feel for anything around him – feeling was a weakness and weaknesses meant that he could be exploited and that was something that wasn't going to happen.
Yet it had.
Maybe he had been expecting, maybe he hadn't.
He couldn't say for sure whether it was surprising, but when his cold, immoral, unfeeling heart felt something other than cold triumph, or contempt for those below him – which in his eyes was everyone aside from him – it had been for someone he had never expected.
Sawada Tsunayoshi.
The man had evoked the most unexpected reaction from Mukuro – every time he caught sight of his face, a strange fluttering would develop in his stomach, but it was so soft that even he himself had not recognized it. Over time it had grown stronger and stronger, and at the mere mention of his name, the fluttering would come close to painful, especially when he was with his other guardians.
It should have been painfully obvious what it was to him, but Mukuro had ignored it in lieu of his plans of grandeur.
By the time he had realized what it was, it had been too late.
It hadn't been a particularly elaborate plan. It was almost ridiculous how easy it had been to trick Tsunayoshi into coming close enough for Mukuro to nick him with the tip of the trident. A quick swipe, crimson blood painting the tip of his trident, and then Tsunayoshi was his.
And in that split-second moment right after Tsunayoshi opened his forever changed eyes, Mukuro should have felt triumph. Instead, there was a cold, sick sensation in his gut, and the only thing he could feel was regret.
It was then that he finally realized what that strange emotion that had plagued him for nights over with its frightening intensity was – infatuation, for he knew, it was as close to love as he could get. It had not started out as that – it had been at first a sense of possessiveness, then it had evolved into something greater. But he knew it was not love. It would never be love.
At that realization, Mukuro had gone cold.
Because it had been too late, much too late, maybe he would have had a real chance if he hadn't been too impatient in his plans. A snide voice inside him told him that Tsunayoshi would never love him, anyway. He wasn't something worth loving. He squashed it away, knowing that if he dwelled on it for too long, it would get worse. Because he had made a mistake.
And then Tsuna turned to him with that blindingly bright and warm smile of his, and for a moment, a spark of hope leapt in Mukuro's chest. Only to have it snuffed out when he realized he was the one who had willed it to happen, and like the puppet Tsuna now was, he had obeyed.
Seeing such a smile on Tsuna's face, so like one of those which he had used to give unconditionally to his friends, and on occasion to Mukuro – but he had never truly appreciated them, dismissing them as condescending smiles, but he hadn't discovered how much he had longed for them until then – gave a pang in his heart.
And as Mukuro stared into the face of his 'boss', a twisted feeling rose inside him.
A selfish, greedy and vile feeling.
Because he had realized, even if he knew that the smiles that he could get Tsunayoshi to give him from then, they would be solely for him.
Not for his foolish guardians, or thoughtless family.
Just him, Mukuro.
Even if they were just an illusion he himself had created (pathetic, a hollow voice said inside).
Leaning down, Mukuro captured the soft lips of Tsunayoshi's and for that moment, he fooled himself that it was truly him responding, not just Mukuro's own twisted desires.
And for that moment, it was enough.
A/N: I wasn't very satisfied with the outcome of this fic…but what the heck, I'm never happy with what I write.
Tell me it didn't completely suck? (Ergo, review. I like them.)
I have the feeling the word count put quite a few people off…