Read the end for the notes.
World of Warcraft: General, Humor. Rating: K+.
Summary: As the Legions draws near, one must set their priorities. It contains some minor coarse language.
Warnings: None, or maybe just my silliness XD and light, very light cursing, I think.
Disclaimer: I don't own this game and its characters, this story was purely made for fun. Oh, but I do play a lot of it ;D
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Bacon: A World Quest
She had one mission: to get the bacon.
Felfire fell from the sky as the Burning Legion got closer and closer to finish Azeroth, their world, off...
Whispers of the Old Gods and their chaotic powers could be felt at their doorsteps everyday, trying to corrupt the young world...
The Priests fought with the holy light, discipline and shadows to protect their Hall from the demons and, sometimes, from the dark energies some of them yield to battle…
Her friends called for her help to heal as they fought the Emerald Nightmare...
Basically, as the leader of the Legions draws near, one must set their priorities…
... And that's exactly why she had to get that bacon.
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It wasn't any bacon, it was the Thick Slab of Bacon (or so she heard)! And she was in a real need of some bacon… with all the shit going on with the world.
It's easy to imagine why as you picture it dripping and hissing on the cook fire (away from Nomi, of course, that Pandaren couldn't be trusted with such important task!), the smell raping your senses out of your body…
… She had to eat it. Now.
That's how she found herself running against time, getting the fastest mount Dalaran could provide her (sometimes she wondered why the mages couldn't be a little more practical and teleport people around). Flying over the skies she could see the damage done to her beloved world, may the Light embrace them all, they would need it, maybe not as much as she needed that bacon right now, but…
She had to focus on her task, it would be no use to mess things up now. Highmountain, near Hemet Nesingwary's camp, that's where she had to go. She had heard whispers, rumors, barely said aloud as she avoided those madman playing around the city's sewers. There was no way that she wouldn't get it if it was true.
As she approaches the targeted place, her every muscle tenses. She's not a Hunter to track the beast down and her prize was near the most famous hunter's camp know! Nor was she a Warrior to wildly swing her weapon around and cut the heads off the ones trying to steal her HER loot.
But she was a Priest, maybe a little bit of a mad one, and Light's Wrath was hers to keep. Her weapon was Overloaded with Light, only waiting to tear her enemies apart as she yielded it with the needed discipline… which was almost like as her burning heart would be after eating that tantalizing piece of marvelous meat (maybe the organ would not be as much with discipline and more like only overloaded).
Also, if the Light wouldn't prove strong enough to help her on her need, she had the voice to help with the deed too, though maybe using Xal'atah wasn't the smartest thing to do… Oh well, a little bit of chaos and Old God's power to wash over the world wouldn't matter, who never wished to spread it, right?
It made her shiver, thinking of that cursed blade hidden deep into her backpack, but she was not one to fear. It would be joyful to release those shadows upon some unsuspected bastard trying to get what was hers. There was only one problem...
... She was no hunter, but fortunately, had a good memory and some resources (do not ask!). And so, after walking some more, avoiding the wild cats (big enough to eat her head off), she found out the beast. It was magnificent and then she knew that those rumors were true. She would get that bacon and her knees were weak with the prospective.
But there was another small problem.
A… vermin was trying to STEAL away her bacon! She had to do something!
Pulling her staff out of it's sheath (what? No priest carried it with their hands all the time), she approached as silently as a Draenei with their hoofs on dry leaves could.
Her suspicions were right, it was a Hunter. She could see the dead body of her (now) enemy's pet lying in a pool of its blood. The magnificent beast of bacon was now after the pet's owner, they had done some great damage to it, but it's will to live was stronger.
The Hunter, a human she realized, saw her and cried for help.
…
…
…
Hmmm, maybe she wouldn't need to move a finger at all, she watched as the beast, bleeding and tired, killed the target of her anger. What? Did you think she would just let them get her bacon? That maybe she would use the Light's embrace to help that unfortunate soul?
Too bad for that guy, no one got near her bacon and lived to tell the story. As the beast wasn't faring well, she only had to finish it off. Which was pretty simple and satisfying, as her staff made a pretty damn high damage, after all, she had the discipline to hold the staff's power and unleash it only when most needed… which was pretty much this kind of situation (to hell with the Nightmare danger!).
She got her loot as she watched with a wicked smirk the body of her allied faction Hunter. Touching her cursed blade deep inside the backpack she knew that it could be a problem, but...
… Pfff, chaos never bothered her anyway…
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A/N: Okay, I know it was a lot like "wtf" but, seriously, when I saw that quest I just had to write this off. And, yeah, pretty much my entire guild calls me mad and I don't refute (because it's true), some even fear the Light's Wrath on my hands, but… Oh well, I'm a good heal (if you stay on my good side). Btw, it was kind of strange to get the bacon, as it drops from a Well-Fed Ironhorn and no, I didn't let anyone die in that quest XD.
I hope this made someone laugh as I did while playing and writing XD and forgive me for any writing mistakes I've done.
Oh, and the image was part of a (hastily done) birthday gift from my sister.