Odysseus' Last Days
By Heartbeats in Stereo
AN – Bit of housekeeping to be done first – please see my profile. Season 2's 'Blind Tiger' reveals Steve's age to be 35. This story takes place in Season 11, so naturally Steve is 46. It flows on from the events of the later seasons and the series finale. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
It started fairly innocuously enough with Steve forgetting where he left the witness statements for the Kailua serial killings. The outcome of the case rode on these documents being present at the court hearing so to find the leather briefcase empty was incredibly shocking for everyone. Thankfully, there was still enough time for them to head back to the office and grab them otherwise John Manicote might have experienced a moderate hernia. To this Steve had merely turned towards Danny and gave him a look, to which the younger detective merely nodded. It was incredibly unlike Steve but in the car ride back to the office to retrieve the files at hand gave Danny some more time to observe other peculiarities in the Head of Five-O's behavior.
The passenger kept shooting glances at the driver out of the corner of his azure blue eyes, and noted the tight clutch of the steering wheel between his hands, so much so that the knuckles stood out stark white against the tanned skin of his hands. Tension thrummed in the air and there was a sense of anticipation. Danny at this stage didn't know whether it was a good thing or a bad thing - whatever it was, it was certainly keeping him on his toes. The silence in the car was almost deafening today, and Danny longed to turn on the radio. However, Steve hated listening to those new tunes and preferred to maintain his full concentration on the road ahead of him. Danny cleared his throat and tried to drown out the circular nature of his thoughts. "So, uh, have you prepared for what you're going to say on the witness stand?" He longed to ask Steve if everything was all right, because it was so unbelievable that Steve would be the one to forget. The young man finally gave in to the impulse when it seemed like Steve was not going to answer him. Leaning forward, Danny turned his head to regard the detective with increasing concern. "Steve, are you all right?"
Danny was taken aback at Steve's disproportionate reaction. The detective flinched before looking guiltily over at his Second-In-Command as he loudly cleared his throat. "Yeah, Danno. I'm fine. Just got a lot on my mind at the moment." Steve managed a small grin, but it was half hearted at best.
In the bright morning sunshine Danny couldn't help but observe how tired Steve looked. It was clear that all the late nights and heavy case burden were affecting the older man. There were dark circles under his eyes and Danny was shocked to see the first flecks of silver shine iridescent against the streams of sunlight pouring into the window. The passenger often thought of Steve as timeless, but seeing him here like this in the bright light of day the senior detective looked every one of his 46 years of age. Danny merely nodded and they continued their car ride in silence. It was postponing things for the moment being, but something told him that now was not the time to say anything about it. Steve was an intensely private individual and no matter how much good-natured prying Danny tried nothing was going to work. In some respects when Steve wanted to be, he could be incredibly hard to read and not give an inch.
Things had only gotten worse after Chin's ignoble death, which Danny knew that Steve solely blamed himself for. Since that event, Steve seemed to shrink upon himself, much the same way that a turtle drew into its shell in the presence of danger. The emotional walls and barriers slammed down again, and Danny was left as a helpless outsider. They still had lunch together and worked late nights at the office but there was something different in the air between them now. A careful sort of weariness that Danny was so tired of. He craved going back to what they had before, but understood that different people had different coping mechanisms.
The warmth of the sun went no deeper than his skin, and Danny shuddered involuntarily. Something was very off, but there was not point in trying to force Steve to tell him what it was. He hoped that his Irish friend would tell him in time, when he was ready for it.
Danny would just have to wait.
x-chapter brought to you by Heartbeats In Stereo-x
That sense of unease only intensified as the day wore on, before time took on non-meaning and melded into weeks, then months. The passage of time was marked with the fact that Steve's behavior for the most part returned to normal. He ruled the Islands with an iron fist and clamped down hard on the criminal element just as expected of him. Danny and Duke were kept on their feet so much that they barely had enough time to sit down or question the heavy work burden. Out of all of them though, the one under the most strain was Steve, who seemed to be bearing incredibly well under the pressure.
To a general person who did not know Steve well, he would appear to be functioning normally. But to his ohana, there were subtle differences which showed that his concentration was elsewhere, distracted most of these days. They were very clear to Danny, who watched as seemed to sink deeper and deeper into uncaring apathy and the way the man seemed to have completely withdrawn into himself. For the past eleven years or so they had an amiable working relationship and ever since that morning when Steve had forgotten those damn case files the dynamic of their relationship seemed to have shifted, and Danny felt himself being increasingly pushed away. It was very gradual at first, hardly noticeable. Their daily lunches together slowly diminished, until they were solely a thing of the past. There was always an excuse for it, like say Jameson wanted to see Steve urgently or there was important administrative duties to take care of.
Nonetheless Danny still got that sense that he was being given the cold shoulder and it rankled. Any attempts to make some sort of sense of Steve's behavior were politely but firmly rebuffed, such that soon Danny found himself being completely shut out of Steve's life so that there was no more friendly camaraderie. Steve fully used his power as Head of Five-O to give Danny directives that ensured he kept well out of the older detective's way.
Anyway, he pushed those thoughts out of his mind when he pulled his green sedan into a parking spot just outside of Queen's Hospital. Gingerly stepping out of the car, Danny made a straight beeline for Bergman's office. He wanted to get the dressing to the slash wound covering his abdomen changed as soon as possible and for it to be looked at. He had concerns about infection because it had been a week since the incident and the skin around the wound was still swollen and angry red – the small improvement was that the antibiotics had managed to control the infection but the detective thought he might need stronger ones.
He climbed the steps up to Bergman's office, stopping briefly to greet Nurse Winnie at the Nurse's Station with a little wave. Taking great care not to overexert or overstretch the wound, Danny reached the top of the stairs and made his way towards the Five-O physician's suite. Ever since his retirement as coroner Bergman dedicated his time and energy exclusively to this private clinic of his.
Danny crossed the entryway and went to sit down on one of the hard backed plastic chairs, picking up an old magazine to thumb through idly. Glancing at the clock, he realized that he was ten minutes early for his scheduled appointment, but it was all right. It was better to be early than late. He had arranged it so that he had half an hour to reach the office. Not that Steve was likely to complain if he was late. Sighing, he looked at the five year old crossword before the sound of a door creaking made him snap his gaze up and he was completely surprised to find Steve walk out of the physician's examination room. The lead detective's face was pale and he looked horribly shaken, like someone who had received extremely bad news. His blue eyes, a deep cobalt blue like the depths of the ocean, widened as he caught sight of Danny. Concerned, Danny moved to stand up and approach his friend but Steve merely raised his hand up. "Please, Danno. Don't." Steve shook his head slightly before turning away, and heading out the door without another word.
Feeling his chest inexplicably tighten, the young detective could only watch in mute shock at Steve's cold treatment. He tried to reassure himself that he had gotten used to it, and that it didn't bother him, but the honest fact was that it did. He forced himself to stand and headed into Bergman's examination room, closing the door softly behind him. He went to sit down on one of the chairs in the room and tried to balance his elbow on the counter next to him but he put it on something slippery and it almost slid off. Annoyed, he glanced down at the offending thing to see a blue pamphlet, the writing on which made the pit of his stomach drop out as a numb sense of shock rolled over him. Seizing the document with trembling hands, the detective's throat clicked as he unfurled the glossy paper and began to read. The names of foreign chemical compounds leaped out at him, but it was all an unintelligible mess. Danny's eyes widened as his mind connected the possibility that Steve had been the one to look at all these new treatments. Folding it to stow in his pocket for later, Danny turned to see more paper littering the counter space. It was all consent forms and pages of scientific research filled with graphs and Greek symbols. He felt his breath quicken as his imagination broke free of its shackles to run rampant.
A shadow loomed over him before Bergman cleared his throat and the physician extended a hand out for the pamphlet in Danny's hands about radiation therapy. "Come now, young man. I haven't got all day."