Disclaimer: I do not own FMA in any way, shape, or form, but that's ok! World domination will soon take care of that!

Leather Pants

It started with those infernal pants; those skin-tight, leather jeans that clung to every dip and curve on the blond alchemist's lower half. Every time one Edward Elric came storming into my office to give me his weekly report, it took every ounce of my concentration to keep myself from drooling all over my desk, and it was all because of those damn pants!

Like today for instance, the eldest Elric brother came banging into my office, manila folder in hand. Throwing the dirt stained and rather torn folder onto my desk, Edward then proceeded to flop down onto the couch and rested his feet on the coffee table. I raised a disapproving eyebrow but kept my mouth shut in lue of not wanting to start yet another argument with the young alchemic genius. I caught a small smirk upon the little brat's face, and fought down my ire at his smug behavior.

"Well, aren't you going to look at my report? Or are you too busy being a lecherous pervy bastard who likes to check out his subordinates?"

Immediately breaking away from my rather kinky thought, I deadpanned in reply, "Don't flatter yourself, Fullmetal."

The smirk slightly faltered upon Ed's young face and I inwardly fist-pumped for keeping my cool. Taking the folder in hand, I began our weekly ritual of becoming increasingly disappointed by the young alchemist's legendary mission reports.

After reading through it, I found myself pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration as I simply stated, "I'm not even going to ask how you managed to burn down two buildings, destroy five lampposts, and beat up a rather overweight baker…"

Edward looked away, embarrassment rather clear on his face as he mumbled, "The bastard called me shorty…he got what was comin' to him…"

A bark of uncharacteristic laughter broke free from my lips, as I stared at Edward somewhat dumbfounded. Only HE would raise such destruction and havoc over something as simple as "shorty".

A very tiny smile spread across Edward's young face and he asked me in a rather cocky manner, "Have I found a way to amuse you yet again Colonel?"

I suppressed the shiver that threatened to crawl down my spine at the huskiness that Ed put into that last word. Sighing, I silently appraised the short alchemist. Damn, I knew I was going to hell because of this fucking infatuation! There were so many things wrong with how I felt for Edward. Not only were we both males serving in the state military, but I was almost old enough to be the fifteen year old alchemic prodigy's father!

"I don't know what you're talking about Fullmetal; I am not in the least amused by your careless and rather childish antics." I managed to reply around the lump of desire that had lodged in my throat. I inwardly cursed myself for getting so hot and bothered over a simple pair of leather pants, and one word spoken, most likely unintentionally in a sexual manner. I mean, it's not like the shrimp was trying to seduce me or anything.

"Well, do you need anything else, or am I free to go?"

I scanned Edward's body hungrily one last time before I replied, "You're dismissed Fullmetal."

The boy got up and sauntered his way over to the door, stopping before it for a brief second, as he shot over his shoulder, "Oh, and try not to ogle my ass on my way out, pervy bastard."

One week later…

A smirk dominated my lips as I heard the tell-tale stomping footsteps (one footstep louder than the other due to Ed's auto-mail leg) of the Fullmetal alchemist making his way towards my office. "One, two, three," I counted out loud and right on cue Edward was in my office tossing his report carelessly on the desk. Again he flopped onto the couch, and propped his mud-caked clunky boots on the coffee table. This time I couldn't help but comment on the brat's rude behavior, "You know, there is a wonderful thing called manners Fullmetal, apparently your mother never taught them to you."

I instantly regretted those words as a feral growl escaped the boy's lips and he replied venomously, "Don't you ever fucking go there again Colonel Bastard. You can make fun of my height and my recklessness, but you never talk like that about my mother again!"

Swallowing harshly, I averted my eyes and murmured, "Forgive me, Edward, I spoke without thinking. Sometimes it's easy to forget all of the things you've gone through at such a young age…"

Edward untensed and looked away guiltily. "It's fine, I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. Everything's forgiven, Roy."

I swore my heart skipped a few beats as I heard my name spoken from those sinfully beautiful lips. Not Colonel, not Mustang, he had called me Roy! Licking my lips subconsciously, my mind went back to its default thought: those unbelievably sexy leather pants that adorned Edward's lower half. I bit back a groan, sometimes I wondered if I had a really bad fetish for leather…

Ed turned back to face me, a blush creeping steadily across his slightly pudgy cheeks. He narrowed his eyes, which were a shade of gold that could rival the sun, as he spat, "Why the hell do you keep staring at me? You've been doing it for the past three months and quite frankly, it's beginning to annoy me!"

My pulse picked up speed a bit, my throat ached to voice the reply to his question. I wanted so badly to tell him, "Why else do you think I keep staring at you? Maybe if you stopped wearing such sinfully tight pants, which turn me on so badly I can hardly stand it by the way, then we wouldn't be in this awkward situation!"

"…Can you run that by me again," Edward asked me, eyes as wide as saucers. Heat instantly flushed my face an embarrassing shade of red as I realized that I had said what I was thinking out loud.

"…Fuck…" I cursed under my breath. Now Edward was probably terrified of me and my damn kinky leather fetish for his leather-clad body.

I quickly cleared my throat, about to excuse him from my office to avoid this increasingly horrible experience, when I heard Edward murmur something softly, "Roy, do…do you like me or somethin'? 'Cuz, well, 'cuz I've kinda had a crush on you for a while now. I just thought there was no way central's womanizing pervert could ever like me back. 'Specially since I'm so young and not very attractive and stuff…"

Edward fidgeted shyly, looking away from me and blushing fiercely as he confessed his feelings for me. Blinking, I discreetly pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. "Ouch!" I exclaimed loudly.

Ed turned swiftly as he asked worriedly, "What's wrong?"

I smiled softly at the poorly masked look of concern on the young boy's face as I simply replied, "Pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming."

Lust began to seep into Ed's golden eyes, darkening them a deep and rich color as he replied huskily, "I can think of other ways to prove that you're not dreaming, Roy…"

Biting my lower lip to stiffly a moan, I shivered at the desire that raced through my veins at the implications of Ed's words. The blond alchemist got up from the couch and walked slowly towards my desk. Climbing up onto the desktop, Ed scooted himself forward so he was sitting right in front of me. Swallowing heavily, I let a shaky hand place itself on the young boy's right cheek and stroked it softly. Edward closed his eyes sweetly, turning into my touch eagerly, as if he had been craving my touch for so long that now there, he didn't want to waste a single second.

"Kiss me Roy…" He breathed out sweetly against my hand, tickling my fingertips with his warm breath. Letting my thumb trace Edward's lower lip, I leaned in closer, my lips almost touching his. My eyes fluttered closed a sour lips finally met gently in the form of our first kiss. It was short and sweet, just lips pressing against lips briefly, before I pulled away. Cracking my eyes open, I took in Ed's blushing visage, lips still pouted for a kiss and eyes still closed. After a few more seconds, Ed opened his eyes, lips quirked downward in a scowl as he mumbled, "'S that all I get?"

I let out a breathy chuckle, smiling like a giddy schoolboy as I replied, "That's all you get for now Ed, if you really want more though, I suppose we could finish where we left off after work…say my place at seven?"

A wicked smile transformed the blonde's sweet lips as he said, "It's a date then, Colonel."

7 o'clock. My house.

"Welcome to my humble abode, make yourself at home while I go start dinner," I declared, taking off my shoes and waving a hand in the general direction of the living room.

Two arms wrapped possessively around my waist and I couldn't hold back a smirk as I felt Ed mumble into my back, "I'm not hungry…I want sex."

Turning in the shorter alchemist's embrace, I patted his head lovingly as I replied with a sigh, "Ed, I'm starving. Besides, there's no way I'm having sex with you before the first date. So let's eat a nice home-cooked meal and then we can have sex for dessert, ok?"

A very Cheshire-like grin overtook Ed's young features as he declared in a very sexy voice, "Mm…sex for dessert, I kinda like the sound of that!"

And with that, Ed released me and strode briskly into my living room, throwing himself unceremoniously onto the couch, propping his feet up on y mahogany coffee table. I rolled my eyes as I realized, some things are never gonna change. But I pushed those thoughts aside and made my way into the kitchen to prepare stew, secretly smiling to myself as I recalled Alphonse saying once that it was his and Ed's favorite food.

About an hour later I was done with dinner and I walked into the living room to fetch my young, soon-to-be lover. My breath instantly left me and thought escaped my mind for a few moments as I took in the sight before me. Ed apparently had started a fire in the fireplace while I was in the kitchen because the light from the merrily crackling fire bathed his somewhat tan skin. He had discarded his red jacket, shoes, and white gloves, fully displaying his right auto-mail arm and left foot. They glistened dangerously in the glow of the fire, which made them all the more beautiful to me. Edward was laying on his belly in front of the fireplace, completely absorbed in one of my many alchemy books that I had on display on a bookshelf in the corner.

Clearing my throat to get his attention, I softly proclaimed, "Dinner's ready Ed, I hope you like stew."

Ed's head immediately swiveled in my direction, a look of pure happiness dancing in his beautiful golden eyes, "Are you kidding me? How did you know stew was my favorite?"

I knew my dark eyes were sparkling in amusement as I replied, "Al may or may not have mentioned what your favorite food was to me one day when I asked him for no particular reason."

"Ha-ha, love the sarcasm, Roy. What a nice touch to the conversation," Ed bit back affectionately.

"Just get in there and eat, don't let all my hard work go to waste, short stack."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THEY MAKE FLEAS LOOK LIKE GODZILLA?"

Laughing, I just shook my head at Edward's predictable short-rant.

Dinner was a pleasant event. The stew was thick and savory, warming me to my most base components and Ed's abundant praise boosted my confidence immensely. Truth be told, I didn't even know how to cook stew until Alphonse gave me a recipe, which I obsessively proceeded to perfect for this very moment.

Wiping away the last remnants of thick broth with a piece of bread, Ed smacked his lips and proclaimed, "Wow, who knew Central's famous bachelor could cook a delicious home-made meal!"

Raising my hands in mock defense I replied, "Hey, a man living alone has to find some way to eat."

Leaning back in his chair Ed cast me a sultry look, "I think I'm ready for dessert now," the blond ended with a slight purr.

Getting up, I made my way over to Ed, dipping in for a kiss. Pulling apart, I smiled and said, "I concur, dessert sounds perfect right now." And that was that.

Our lips clashed passionately, moving together awkwardly at first. The kiss was sloppy, mostly due to Ed's inexperience, but I don't think I'd have it any other way. Mismatched limbs wrapped around my neck as Ed pressed himself closer to me, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss.

Groaning, I met his tongue instantly, letting our battle for dominance ensue. Ed gave in to my more experienced tongue, and in my desire I lifted the shorter alchemist into my arms, his legs instantly wrapping around my waist as we kissed. Making my way clumsily to the stairs, I almost passed out in pure bliss as Ed pulled away from my mouth, a string of saliva still connecting our lips, as he moved his mouth to the juncture where I neck met my collarbone.

We made our way into my bedroom, and I proceeded to gently lay Edward onto the blood-red sheets of my bed, kissing his nose gently. His shaky hands were instantly fumbling with the buttons on my shirt, a look of pure want in his eyes that had me shivering in anticipation. "Damn buttons…" Ed grumbled, having problems undoing them due to his mechanical hand. "I can never undo 'em fast enough,'s why I don't bother with 'em." Stopping the frantic actions of Ed's fumbling fingers; I proceeded to undo the buttons myself, but gave him the pleasure of sensually sliding off my shirt.

"You're fucking beautiful," Ed murmured sincerely, his eyes appraising me lovingly taking in every last inch of my moon pale torso. His words, spoken so easily, had me blushing in modesty as I inwardly rejected the compliment; if anyone was beautiful, here it was the golden creature beneath me. My fingers caught the hem of his black tank top, and I pulled it away from his skin easily, diving in for another heated kiss. One tan and one silver hand buried themselves in my midnight lack hair as I pulled away from his mouth, giving feather-light kisses down the column of his long neck. I lowered myself so we were lying chest to chest, skin to skin and I could feel the beginnings of Ed's arousal through those tight leather pants.

I rocked my hips slightly against his, causing an electric spark to travel up my spine, hardening my baby pink nipples. Ed's hands went to grasp my hips, but one of the joints that made up a knuckle in his mechanical hand had gotten caught in my hair. I winced slightly as he yanked his hand free, looking away guiltily and mumbling a pathetic, "Sorry about that…" Stroking his face softly I simply replied by kissing his right hand. I knew he couldn't feel it, but I wanted to show him how much I loved him, every part of him. Inhaling, my head reeled with the heady scent of mechanical oil and metal, and I smiled. The smell was so Ed and it made me want him more than I had wanted anything before, even more than my desire to become Fuhrer.

Ed's lips quirked into an affectionate smile as his golden eyes watched my lips worship every last inch of that metal hand. "I love you," Ed murmured softly, causing me to look up from his body to stare deeply into his gorgeous eyes. "I-I know it sounds cliche and all, 'specially since I'm 'bout to lose my virginity to you, but I mean it. I really, truly mean it Roy." His eyes were serious, lips set in a neutral line as he spoke. My heart clenched at those words and I felt myself smiling sweetly as I replied with a kiss to the scars on his shoulder connecting his metal arm to the rest of his body and a soft, "I love you too, Edward."

And with that, Ed was earnestly removing my cotton pants and silky boxers, causing my erection to spring forth into the cool night air. My hands glided lovingly over every inch of Ed's leather pants as I relished the feeling of such sensual material against my sensitive fingertips. I deftly undid the button on his pants, pulling the zip down slowly, teasing my young lover. "Just 'cuz your old doesn't mean you should move so slow," Ed murmured huffily. Scowling, I stopped in my undressing of his delicious body. "I guess I should tuck the child in for the night without dessert if he's going to say such mean things to his elders." The look of disbelief that crossed Ed's face was priceless and I couldn't help but smile evilly in response.

"I'll be good, please don't deny me my dessert," Ed's voice pleaded with me, sending a pang of desire coursing through my veins. Complying with Ed's ardent plea, I pulled off his tight leather pants, happy to see that he wasn't wearing any underwear, as I purred, "I spoil you."

"I know you do," he murmured back, reaching up to pull me into a gentle kiss. Breaking away from his delectable mouth, my lips wandered down to his tan nipples and I proceeded to lick them into hardened numbs. He moaned deliciously, arching up into the touch of my lips and tongue. His hips bucked upward, melding with mine, making me close my eyes as our erections slid against each other, creating mind numbing friction.

My lips traveled back down his torso, kissing his soft skin hungrily as I made my way down his body. My breath hitched as I faced Edward's swollen and leaking penis. I licked my lips in anticipation, as I looked up into Ed's hazy golden eyes before I engulfed the tip, wrapping my tongue around the head. His mismatched fingers dug into the mattress and he clenched his eyes shut, a wordless cry hanging from his lips. I sucked him deeper into my mouth, hollowing my cheeks as I began to bob my head slowly using my tongue to create a nice, slick friction. "Ah, Roy! S-stop, I don't wanna come this easy!"

Pulling my lips away from his erection, I brought three fingers up to Ed's lips and whispered, "Suck." He brought my digits eagerly into his mouth, his fiery tongue wrapping around my middle finger and moved up and down sensually. I groaned, the sensations his tongue brought to my fingers had my own erection twitching in want. Deeming my fingers coated, I pulled them from his mouth, but not before he nipped the tips of them lightly. Bringing his legs up to his chest, I almost came at the erotic sight beneath me as he displayed himself wantonly. Gulping, I proceeded to push the first finger into Ed's tight ring of muscle. He hissed and squirmed a bit, but as I soothingly stroked his inner thigh, he calmed down and let me pump my finger in and out slowly.

"Mmmmm, feels so good Roy!" Ed thrashed a bit against the sheets as I added another finger and scissored them slowly. A strangled whimper tore from my throat, as Ed wrapped his auto-mail hand around my aching penis and stroked me in quick, firm strokes. The feeling of cold metal against my unbelievably hot flesh had my knees going weak and in retaliation I pushed in the final finger into Ed's tight heat. Thrusting my fingers in slowly and gently I began nipping and kissing the baby soft flesh of his inner thigh. "Want you inside me," Ed managed through his heavy pants and moans of desire. Pulling my fingers out, I spat on my hand, using the spit and my pre-cum as a natural lubricant, before I positioned my tip before his entrance.

My muscled arms were placed on either side of Ed's head, holding me up and I leaned down, placing my lips over his as I pushed into Ed's prepared entrance easily. Ed bit his lip, a tiny tear gathering at the corner of his left eye as he clenched them tightly closed. I let out a shaky breath, waiting for him to get used to the awkward intrusion. I knew it was my cue to move, as Ed wrapped his legs around my slim waist, pulling me closer to his body. And so, I pulled out halfway and then slammed back in, my eyes rolling into the back of my head in pure ecstasy.

I kept up a slow rhythm, my fingers burying themselves in Ed's golden braid, undoing it and letting it fan out across the red pillow beneath his head. "Faster," Ed screamed as he began thrusting up to meet me. Complying, I moved faster, burying my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling the smell of sweat and soap. I groaned in pain, as Ed's metal heel began to dig into my backside as he wrapped his legs around me tighter. "A-almost there…" Ed panted, straining his hips up so I could pound into him at a new angle. "Ah! There, again Roy, right there!" he screamed out, head thrashing back and forth in ultimate pleasure as I slammed into his prostate again. Continuing to ram again that sensitive bundle of nerves, I grabbed Ed's erection and began pumping it in sync with my thrusts, rubbing the head when I reached the top, smearing the pre-cum that formed there.

"Ah-ah! Mmmmm, yes, oh yes!" And with on final jerk of his erection, Ed came all over my hand and chest, the rest dribbling down onto his lightly toned abs. his muscles clenched around me tightly, and with a few more thrusts, I finally came into that tight heat, my orgasm raging through my bloodstream, electrifying every nerve. "Oh, Ed…" I groaned softly, pulling out and collapsing next to my love. I turned to face him, taking in his sweaty and disheveled appearance. Brushing the bangs out of his eyes, I leaned in and kissed his lips softly. "That was amazing," Ed declared, his voice slightly hoarse from screaming. Nodding my head and smiling I replied, "Yeah, sex is always amazing when you do it with someone you love."

Ed wrapped his arms around me and snuggled into my chest murmuring, "Well, then it's a good thing we love each other." Kissing the top of his golden head I replied, "That it is Edward, that it is." He smiled softly, and let his eyes drift closed. I ruffled his hair affectionately, and snuggled into Ed's warmth, letting the gentle rise and fall of his chest relax me further. "Sleep tight, love," I whispered softly against his hair. A vague smile tugged at Ed's sleeping lips and he nuzzled his face into my chest. I let the smell of Ed and the sound of his gentle heartbeat lull me into a sleep that only comes in the warmth and security at being in the arms of the one you love.

The steady stream of light that came through my cream colored curtains woke me from my deep slumber. Blinking the sleep from my eyes, a soft warmth spread through my chest at the sight that greeted me. Ed was wide awake, head propped up on an open palm as he surveyed my sleeping form. "Mornin' sexy," Ed smiled, and leaned forward kissing the corner of my mouth. My fingers ran though my bed head as I replied, "And a good morning to you too, gorgeous." Our lips met in a good morning kiss, and as we pulled apart, Ed exclaimed, "Let's make breakfast; I'm starving for more of your cooking."

Getting up from the sheets and limbs that entangled me, I pulled on my boxers and made my way for the door. "You want any help?" Ed asked me, tilting his head in a questioning manner. I shook my head and replied, "No Ed, you just make yourself comfy. You're probably still sore from last night." Ed was about to protest, when a twinge of pain pulled at his face. "Ok, thanks Roy." I just waved a hand in a "it's no big deal" gesture, and made my way into the kitchen. And as I started breakfast for me and my lover, I couldn't help but smile and think upon all the things that had transpired. My life made a drastic turn for the better, and I owed it all to a pair of leather pants.

~The End~

A/N: I started aimlessly writing one day in my college math class and bam! It turned into this over the past two weeks. This fic was loosely inspired by LittleKuriboh's Leather Pants video (a parody of Bad Romance by Lady Gaga) since this song was stuck in my head while starting this. Please review 'cuz if I get at least five reviews I will write a parody version of this fic entitled "Leather Pants: An Epic Journey Concerning Roy and Havoc." That fic will be a fan-based parody of a fan-based parody since I will be using the lyrics of LittleKuriboh's (of Yugioh Abridged) song Leather Pants. Wish me luck guys, since the LK rabid fans will probably murder me in my sleep for using his genius lyrics in my fanfiction. Oh, and thanks to anyone who read this, it means a lot to this poor pizza and pasta lover~.

Sayonara!