Dialup
Shego was waiting…it was almost done…almost ready. Then she could go to bed. Her eyes burned, her hands trembled. Who knew it could take this long.
Why…why didn't he fix it? They could afford it…they could be free of this misery. Free of this agony of waiting.
Oh god, why?
"Almost there…" She crooned to the object of her desire. The thing that would make the hurting go away.
"Oh yes, baby…" Shego said, as she would to a lover. "I'm going to like…"
'SHEGO! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" She spun around and saw Kim. Her nemesis. No! Not now, not when I'm so close! She shielded her love with her body. Kim would have to go through her to get to it. Kim slowly advanced on her.
"We've got Drakken, Shego, and now, you'd better surrender."
"Never…" She whispered. "Not now. You can't stop me now." Kim advanced, Shego prepared.
And Kim accidentally pulled the phone cord that was running across the room…there was a click behind Shego and a beep. She spun around.
"No!" The computer screen gleamed up at her, the horrifying message clear.
DOWNLOAD FAILED AT 99.4 PERCENT, TIME ELAPSED 12 HOURS, 42 MINUTES. DO YOU WISH TO RECONNECT AND TRY AGAIN? y/n?
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Shego screamed, fell to the ground.
"Shego?" Kim asked.
"Twelve…twelve hours…. Downloading the video file…because he…he won't spring for broadband." Shego started to giggle. "Twelve hours, nursing the connection, scaring the henchmen away, hooking up the computer to FIVE DIFFERENT POWER SURGE PROTECTORS…. And you…you…trip over the phone cord…"
"Geez Shego, you should have put it somewhere else.." Kim said, looking at her. What was the Big? Ron looked at the crazed woman, and his survival instincts kicked in.
"Um…KP…maybe we'd better come back later."
"Come on Ron…. It's just a failed download, and it's not our fault Shego is the only person in Middleton with Dial-up."
That was it.
"NOT YOUR FAULT! NOT YOUR FAULT!" She screamed and leaped. "I'LL GIVE YOU FAULT, YOU LITTLE…."
"Shego-HEY! STOP THAT, RON, HELP!"
Ron averted his eyes but the sounds were bad enough.
"HEY, YOU THINK IT'S NOT SO BAD, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE MY MODEM… IN FACT, LET ME GIVE IT TO YOU!"
rip!
"SHEGO--- WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY PANTS? EEEK! ROOOOOONNNNN!"
ring ring!
"Hello, Possible residence? Ron? What? Oh my… the Hospital?" Dr. Possible looked up at his wife as she held the phone, face worried. Then it started to change to confusion. "I can Ron…but Proctologists aren't usually on emergency call… remove a what? How did…no, I think I better ask Kim how it ended up stuck there."
She put the phone back down and looked at her husband.
"Dear, we need to go to the hospit…no, I need to go to the hospital, and I think you need to pretend none of what you may hear in the next few days ever happened.
"Is there anything I can do?"
"Er…yes. Go down to Smarty Mart and buy their softest pillows…for any chair Kim might be sitting in.
"Sitting in?"
"Dear... this is one of those things you really don't need to know."
End.