I would go so far as to say that it was rather uncomfortable, sitting there on that grey mound of rock. No matter how many times I would go there, to the graveyard, it always felt so foreign and utterly strange. I don't think I ever got over that feeling.
The boy was sitting in front of a grave next me, and I gave him a quick and courteous nod. Roxas was his name. He had been coming here for the past few years, and was now a familiar face. He smiled back, but only just so you could barely see the upturn of his lips. I focused on the grass and wondered when the sun had come up. Time had a nasty habit of passing me by, like an old friend he'd rather not visit.
Usually when you think of graveyards, you think grey, death, darkness, and rain. In movies, there is never a graveyard without rain. But today, the sky was pleasantly sunny and the sky was almost as blue as his eyes. He was looking at me with them now, and I knew he was about to speak..
"How many years?" he asked evenly, and staring straight ahead at nothing. A simple question, he so spoke softly that I could barely hear his voice above the light wind. I pondered, and counted on my fingers one by one. It was remarkable how I let the days slip from my grasp.
"Eight
years." I replied, and paused a moment to let my words sink below
the skin. "You?"
"Thirteen." he stated readily, as
though he had been waiting for my question. A loud noise shook us
from our own little world, and his eyes refocused on the family that
was heading towards us with a bouquet of red roses in hand. They
stopped short in front of me, or rather the grave, standing rigid
and holding their mouths closed tightly as though they were afraid to
breathe. The silence was enough to chill me more than any wind
could. I let my eyes travel over them, scrutinizing each as though
they were part of a lineup.
They all looked so much older. She was pregnant… and the only one with the decency to be crying. He was married. The tallest one took a moment to look at the blindingly blue sky before gently dropping the roses at my feet. I clenched my fist and I jerked my head away from them to looked at him sitting next to me, whose face appeared void of any emotion. Upon closer examination, I thought I could see a hint of wistfulness behind his much practiced façade.
"Mine
stopped coming a long time ago. I don't have anyone left." Roxas
spoke again, voice cracking slightly at the end of the sentence as he
turned his face away. I looked down at the roses, and thought of
correcting him. We were more than just strangers.
"You've
got me." For lack of better things to say. He was frowning, and
something seemed irrevocably wrong about it.
We sat
for a moment content to just to be there. The sounds of the family
getting into their car echoed mockingly in my ears like background
music. Slowly I reached down my arm to pick up the roses. I held
them in my hands for a moment, then rapidly began to shred them.
"I hate roses." I declared, throwing the pieces carelessly
into the wind and watching them sail across the sky. I jumped off
the grave and sat down beside it, tracing my fingertips across the
name engraved on the cold stony surface. The surface that reminded
me so much of a storm. Something was running through my head, like
it had been ever since eight years ago.
You think you're going to love this life forever. You want to think that nothing is ever going to change. That your family will never forget you.
But
when you're dead, everything seems so different.
I tried to
go about it carefully, but I still ended up shattering the silence
into a million tiny pieces. "So. You still haven't moved on?"
"Nope." Roxas leaned against his gravestone.
"Do you know what you're waiting for?"
"Nope."
I sighed theatrically, and crossed my arms before looking straight into the horizon. Nothing to hide, nothing to remember. Nothing left.
"Me neither."
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In case you didn't know, Axel is the speaker. So yeah. I wrote this for English Class, wanting to do something different with the prompt, "visiting relatives." Needless to say, it didn't work out quite as planned.
