Let's see... what should we write today...? Ouch! *swats at his neck* What was... hmm.. I have an idea!
(Dew): Oh, no!!
(Char): What?!
(Dew): He was bitten!
(Char): By what?!
(Dew): By the... [pause for dramatic music] parody bug!!
(Dew/Char): Ahhh!!
... ... ...are you quite done?
(Dew): [nods]
Okay, then. Let's find the rest of the gang... We can't do this without them, after all...
*****
[The cast and crew are playing tennis at a poolside court when Omniflyer enters the scene, waving many pieces of paper around frantically.]
Ah, my cherished Adepts... what an idea I have in store for you today!
Picard: I hate it when authors get that look in their eye...
Ivan: Never a good sign...
Omniflyer: We're going to do a parody of Chrono Trigger!
Isaac: Which then to the what, now?
Omniflyer: [looking agitated] Chrono Trigger! One of the greatest RPGs ever! [cast looks confused] Slightly inferior to Golden Sun. [Understanding nods pass around the group] Excellent. Look at these, then... [Omniflyer passes out the scripts]
Mia: This looks... interesting, I suppose. [flips through the script] I guess it could work.
Omniflyer: Excellent. Now, as for your roles...
Jenna: I call dibs on Lucca!
Mia: Same for Marle!
Omniflyer: ...uhhh... I'm thinking...no.
Jenna: Why not?
Omniflyer: Let's face it. You being Lucca and Marle being played by Mia would be flat-out boring. Honestly...
Ivan: So what will you do?
Omniflyer: Easy answer, my diminutive friend.
Ivan: [growling] I'm not short!
Omniflyer: Right on, Ivan, you keep telling yourself that. Anyway, Jenna, you shall play Marle, and Mia, you will play Lucca.
Jenna/Mia: What?! No! I refuse!!
Everyone else: [stifling laughter]
Mia: Not fair! I don't want to be some hideous Fire user!
Jenna: And I don't want to be some wimpy, pathetic healer!
Mia: [turns on Jenna] Wimpy healer?!
Jenna: Hideous Fire user?!
Everyone else: [sneaking away]
Isaac: This could turn out ugly...
Garet: [nodding assent]
[A large fight between Mia and Jenna ensues. Ivan pops popcorn and sells tickets to passerby, advertising it as "The New Colosso".]
[Two hours later]
[Isaac is holding Mia back and Garet is restraining Jenna. Both girls still look vicious].
Omniflyer: Is there any chance we can stay on topic?
Sheba: Yes, there is. Tell me who I'll be!
Omniflyer: Okay, Sheba. You're quiet, somewhat reserved, highly intelligent, physically frail and all around a great spellcaster.
Sheba: Yup! [smiles proudly]
Omniflyer: You'll make the perfect Ayla.
Sheba: WHAT?! [eyes wide in disbelief]
Omniflyer: Just... think of it as an experiment in discovering a new part of yourself.
Sheba: What part of myself is a skimpily dressed, pre-historic ignoramus whose idea of a good time is to guzzle down drinks in between grunts?!
Felix: [disguising his voice] Spikydomeshipping.
Sheba: [angry, wheeling around to find the voice] Who said that?! Who?! WHERE?! [goes on a rampage, looking for someone to maul for suggesting the pairing of herself and Garet]
Omniflyer: Exactly. Now, moving on, Frog was a difficult member to cast properly. I needed someone to match his character properly. Unfortunately, I couldn't find that person, so I chose Ivan because they're both short.
Ivan: [trying to look intimidating regardless of his height] I AM NOT SHORT!
Omniflyer: [patting Ivan on the head] Sure you aren't, Ivan. Sure you aren't.
FBMs: [storm into the building, trample Omniflyer, and then leave]
Omniflyer: ...ow.
Ivan: [beaming] Thank you! I love you all!
Omniflyer: Okay, moving on, I still need people for Crono, Robo and Magus. Magus was easy enough; I just needed someone dark, evil, cruel and looming. Garet it is.
Garet: [looking up from a plate of food with a goofy smile] All right! [accidentally sprays food all over the table] ...oops.
Omniflyer: ...somebody get him a paper towel...
Picard: I think we have a problem, here...
Omniflyer: What's that?
Picard: There are only two roles left to assign, but myself, Felix and Isaac still require roles.
Felix: This shouldn't be hard to figure out. By process of elimination, I can't be Crono because Crono has to marry Marle. And Isaac can't be Crono because Omniflyer's a dead-set Mudshipper and to put him there would be Valeshipping.
Omniflyer: *shudders*
Isaac: So Picard's Crono? That leaves you and me for the Robo spot.
Felix: Robo's all muscle. I'll arm wrestle you for it.
Isaac: Deal. [They walk over to a table and sit down to arm wrestle. Isaac is about to win when Felix kicks him in the shin, breaking his concentration. Felix slams Isaac's hand against the table.] Ow! No fair, Felix!
Felix: [shrugs] You learn a few tricks when you travel with Saturos and Menardi.
Omniflyer: So, what, Felix is going to be Robo?
Isaac: That's not fair!
Mia: I demand a rematch!
Omniflyer: No, I think Felix can be Robo. That will do nicely.
Felix: Excellent.
Isaac: Then I don't get a role?
Omniflyer: Don't beat yourself up. Neither does Picard.
Picard: What?! But I thought I was to be Crono!
Omniflyer: Of course not. Where did you get that idea?
Picard: Otherwise we have a Valeshipping situation.
Omniflyer: I didn't say Isaac would be Crono either.
Isaac: But then... who? [Omniflyer walks over to a curtain with a large question mark on it. He draws it back to reveal none other than the character who will play Crono, who is none other than...]
Everyone: o.0 KRADEN?!?!
Kraden: It's about time one of you useless kids realized my amazing talent. Imagine, with me here, how quickly this task will be complete! With my amazing talent and alchemical skill, not to mention my ravishing good looks, it's no wonder... [Kraden talks on while the Adepts storm over to Omniflyer]
Jenna: I FLAT OUT REFUSE!!!
Felix: Jenna and... I think I'm going to be sick...
Garet: [looking murderous] I'm either going to injure Kraden so he can't act, or you, Omniflyer, unless you fix this right now!
Omniflyer: Garet, what's the one thing we want above all else for Kraden?
Garet: ...death?
Omniflyer: I mean, while he's alive.
Garet: Never to explain anything ever again.
Omniflyer: Garet, how many lines does Crono have in the whole game?
Garet: ...oh!
Jenna: [arms crossed] I still refuse! Not only do I have to use water, but now I'm stuck with... with him?!
Kraden: And don't pretend you won't enjoy it, either!
Jenna: [shudders]
Omniflyer: Isaac and Picard, I have other roles for you, but you'll find out what they are later on.
Isaac/Picard: Awww...
So that's it! Here's the cast list...
Crono: Kraden ["It's about time I was recognized! Imagine, all this talent and no one was..."]
Marle: Jenna [*shudders*]
Lucca: Mia ["How degrading..."]
Frog: Ivan ["I am not short! Vertically challenged, maybe, but I am not short!"]
Robo: Felix ["I finally got one up on Isaac."]
Ayla: Sheba ["Someone will die for this. I'm looking in your general direction, Omniflyer..."]
Magus: Garet ["Fear me! Bwahahaha! *trips* Darn it!]
This could be interesting. If you ever have a joke idea, or something, feel free to suggest it in a review. As a matter of fact, why don't you review right now and tell me if you like the idea. Good? Okay? Destroy my computer? Review!!
And one last thing, updates for this will come slowly, just like Light's Shadow. I'll try to jump between the two, but don't expect them both to come very fast. This is just a teaser chapter. If you like it, review and tell me so. If you don't, then I'll just remove it. So, review!!