___________________Moonlit Revelations

A/N: The short length means absolutely nothing, I tell you! Nothing! Okay, well, despite the fact that it may seem short, it's met nothing but sound applause and laughter, and expect this from you lot as well *glares*. Wait, did I just glare? Forget that, I meant a nice angelic smile…and once you've read, there's a little button at the bottom of the screen that says "review" that's just DYING to be pushed, you see. To quote Aria (a favorite of mine): 'Flamers will be fed to the dragon, comments, suggestions and constructive criticism accepted.' Thanks! And if you'd enjoy it, I could do one of those "thank the reviewers" sections… *grins* OH, SO YOU KNOW: This is to mock 'traditional' dramatic fics. Do not take offense, please, to the insanity of it, it's meant to be amusing. GO READ NOW! ;D

A/N: Oh, and so you know, this is Harry, not MWPP, and no specific time. Just…during Hogwarts. If you haven't read D3 (Cassie Claire) the Draco in here is D3-ish. Not that that ought to bother you, naturally. Okay, fine, the story:

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It was a dark and stormy night. At any rate, it certainly was dark. Stormy would come later.

"Hermione," Draco breathed.

"No," she replied quickly. "It's not right. Think of Harry."

"But I love you," he said simply, and meant it.

"I know," she replied juts as simply, and put his hand over her heart. "I know."

"NO!" came a quick shout and cry as Harry jumped between them.

"Harry," Hermione said quickly. "We…we weren't expecting you."

"No," he said matter-of-factly. "Obviously you weren't."

"It's not what it looks like!" she shouted at him.

"Oh yes it is," he said grimly. "It's everything it looks like, and so much more."

"But I love you both!" she wailed at him.

"You have to choose one of us, Hermione," he said primly. "You can't have everything in life."

"I…I suppose you're right," she said, letting her arms drop to her sides, slack. "I just…I don't know," she said, turned, and ran off into the distance.

"You're skating on ice, Malfoy," Harry said to Draco with a grimace, pounding one fist with force onto his open hand.

"And you're on thin ground, Potter," he spat. "I love her, okay? I love her. There, now you know it."

"I should have known earlier," Harry said quietly. "And now my heart will forever be broken."

"That's replaceable."

"It isn't. I can't be bought, Malfoy," his eyes shone with ferocity. "I can't, won't, be bought."

"I'd have no need or want to buy you out, Potter," Draco responded evenly. "That's the difference between us."

"The difference between us is more than that, and you know it," Harry said, his voice full of barely constricted violence.

"Oh, we're rather alike, you and I," replied Draco, Harry's constant opposite, voice cool and controlled. "Though you have no control, pity."

"Don't judge me!" yelled Harry. "You have no right."

"I have money. Therefore, I have a right. To everything."

"You can't buy Hermione," Harry seethed.

"Too late, Potter. She loves me. Too late," Draco said through slit eyes.

"NO!" yelled Harry in despair and anguish. "No, no, it can't be! I won't accept it! It can't be the truth! I will now wallow in self-pity because I am obviously a fool and lost the love of my life to a pile of icy cash!"

"I couldn't have put it better myself," said Draco cheerfully.

"I wasn't serious, you git," Harry countered.

"Oh yes," savored Draco. "You were, and very much so."

"No," Harry said, his eyes now dangerously menacing. "No."

"You're rather fond of that word," Draco said, still cheerful.

"Get to the point, Malfoy. Get. To. The. Point," Harry said with sudden urgency. "I need to know."

"Need to know what, idiot? You might as well say what you need to know."

Harry bent to kneel in front of Draco. "I beg of you. Leave her, and me. So we can finally be together."

Draco looked on him with disdain. "Through thick and thin we have been enemies. Though tall and short we have menaced. Through fat and skinny we have taunted."

"Yes, yes, get to the point, moron," Harry said feverently, pushing at Draco's leg a bit.

"As I was saying," Draco continued nonchalantly. "I can't leave her. I would never leave her. I love her, Potter. I love her. That's a four-letter word. All four letter words are dangerous."

"I never knew a seal could be so dangerous. Must be its sex appeal," Harry mused.

"Oh, come off it! You know what I meant!" Draco yelled indignantly.

"N-"

"DON'T SAY NO AGAIN, YOU IDIOT!" Draco yelled.

"I wasn't going to," Harry said sheepishly.

"Yes you were," Draco countered.

"Well, maybe I was."

"Uh huh."

"So, you're…ah…not leaving, are you?" Harry nudged him again.

"Nope. No. Niet. Non. I sure don't plan to be leaving any time soon. Why on Earth would I, Potter? For a guy who's supposedly clever and smart and all that, you're rather thick."

"Really, you think so?"

"What are you, a…a…I can't even think of a proper insult for you."

"I'm touched, Draco," Harry's eyes were misty with tears. "I'm touched."

"Touched by what, exactly?" Draco asked cautiously.

"That you try to think of a word to describe me, thinking of me that much. That you just said you're speechless," Harry said solemnly.

"Speechless," Draco said wryly while rolling his eyes. "Right."

"I wish you were," Harry said suddenly, quietly. "I wish you were." He nudged Draco's leg again.

"Goshdarnit, stop nudging me, you idiot. What do you want?"

"Malfoy, there's something no one knows about me," Harry said while dabbing at his eyes.

"You're adopted, and James and Lily never had you. No, you're actually dead, and I'm talking to someone pretending to be you. Or maybe you're in league with Voldemort and plan to take over the world," he said sarcastically.

"No, Draco…I'm gay," Harry said.

"WHAT?!?!" Draco yelled. "Then how can you say you love Hermione, and that whole business of asking me to leave and whatnot?"

"I just recently found out," Harry's eyes were glazed, and his eyes kept zooming around as if waiting for the IRS to come saying his audits weren't working out, even though he didn't have audits, so why was he thinking of audits and accounts when he was too young to have any and to have the IRS on his tail? "Ah…through interesting circumstances."

"Oh no," Draco moaned, his hands in his hands. "Don't tell me."

"It was horrible!" Harry sobbed, saying a quick spell to conjure a drink. It was just one drink. He never would have more than one. And it wasn't REALLY an addiction. Harry Potter couldn't be an alcoholic. Maybe he should go to an AA meeting. But he couldn't allow Draco Malfoy to see his weakness. Harry was strong and would not let this small side of him show. He gulped quickly and sobbed again. "I…it…I thought Ron was a best friend. I didn't…"

"Oh no," Draco repeated. "DON'T tell me, please, I REALLY don't want to know."

"Then you'll never know," Harry said, turning, ready to run off into the darkness and moonlight.

"Excuse me, Harry Potter?" said a voice suddenly. Five grown wizards apparated into the clearing where Harry and Draco were standing.

"Yes…that's me," Harry said slowly, cautiously.

"We're here to ask you a few questions," one of them supplied, holding out a badge of sorts. "IRS."

"Oh no," Harry moaned, putting his head in his hands.

"Hey, that's my line," Draco said, nudging Harry's leg.

"What'd you do that for?!?" Harry exploded.

"You stole my line, I stole yours. Ahem," he cleared his throat and pointed subtly at the IRS wizards.

"Don't tell me…my audits?" Harry asked.

"Yes, actually," the IRS wizard looked surprised. "Though you're…"

"Much too young for this," Harry finished for them. "Yes, I know."

"Harry Potter," one of the men said slowly, drawling his name out and stepping forward. "I can't believe it."

"You know, when I first met him, I couldn't either," Draco said brightly. "I always expected someone, well, smart. Needless to say, I was quite surprised."

"Shut up, fool," the man snapped. "Potter…you're telepathic?"

"What?" Harry asked, confused.

"Yes, yes, you're telepathic!" another of the men screamed.

"Do you know Ginny Weasley?" yet another of the men demanded.

"Y-y-yyes," Harry said, still slowly.

"You love her, right?" the same man asked.

"Of course," Harry said quickly.

"What?" Draco asked. "But you're gay."

"Forget that," one of the men said. "And Potter, do you own a seal?"

"What is it with seals," Draco muttered.

"No, I don't have a seal."

"Well, I suppose it could be arranged," one of the men said slowly.

"YOU!" the first man crooked his finger towards Draco. "Do you enjoy leather trousers?"

"Yes," Draco replied primly.

"Excellent then. You, Potter, will be the next Minister of Magic as well as marry Ginny Weasley, and you, Malfoy, will take care of his seal and marry Hermione Granger."

"This is perfect!" Harry yelled, grabbing Draco's hands and twirling around in circles.

"This is wonderful!" Draco agreed, tapping his feet as they danced.

And they danced under the moonlight in the small clearing of the school grounds, content as can be and no longer enemies, enjoying each others' company and forgetting completely about the IRS auditing wizards. Life, it seemed, was finally taking a brighter turn. And the stars shined brilliantly in the night before the rain began to drown out the silent screams of the wicked.

~The End~

A/N: Now, go on off to review and make me a happy girl. :D And I'll go post some more of these and look, we'll all be happy.