Robert smiled to himself as he made his way up the stairs, pleased that he had made it out of Sheffield early. Pleased that he would be able to surprise Cora and maybe, just maybe, bring a smile to her face like he had so rarely seen of late.
At least he hoped she would be happy to see him. The smile on Robert's lips vanished as he thought about how she smiled and flirted with Bricker whenever that odious man was around, and how she was almost transformed into a different creature around him.
In fact, if he was being honest with himself, Robert had had another reason to hurry home sooner than might have been strictly convenient. He did not like the idea of Cora spending a whole evening with that man. Indeed, if he had arrived home and found them still downstairs, lost in conversation and easy flirtation, there would have been no guarantees for how he would have behaved. Fortunately, his fears had been considerably eased by the information that Lady Grantham had retired early, and Robert had been able to proceed upstairs with a sense of levity he hadn't felt in some time.
His first thought had been to march straight into Cora's room to announce his arrival, but on reflection Robert decided that it would be best to quickly dress down before joining Cora so that he might then settle comfortably down with her without having to part again to change.
Robert had barely slipped into his dressing room, however, when he was startled to hear voices coming from Cora's room where he had expected her to be alone. For a brief moment he thought that Baxter had probably returned to finish some task, but almost instantly he realized that the other voice he heard was distinctly male. In another moment his blood ran cold as he realized it was none other than Bricker who had joined his wife in her bedroom.
Everything after that realization became a blur. Robert was in no state to examine whether he felt more anger or hurt as he strode across the small room towards the thin door that separated him from the scene of debauchery apparently taking place in Cora's room, but at the door he halted his actions, some part of him apparently wanting to punish itself by making him stop and listen. He could hear Bricker's voice now as clearly as if he had stood in the same room.
"When did someone last cherish you?" that weasel of a man had the audacity to say. "When did someone even listen to you? I've seen you with your family, ignored and passed over…"
Robert could barely contain his urge to punch his fist through the door. He wanted to strangle that man. What right did he have to judge? What did that walking, orange, carrot stick of a man know of how much he loved and cherished Cora?
Robert could feel his pulse quicken as he heard Cora's steady voice respond:
"None of this is any reason for you to come into my room, uninvited, and presume you are welcome."
Robert closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the door, letting out a sigh of relief. Cora had not invited the man. Of course she would not have. Not Cora. Never Cora. He took in a deep, calming breath, but his relief was short-lived as the anger towards Bricker once again took hold of him. How dare that man assume he could have his way with another man's wife? His wife! Bricker was speaking again:
"But you do not deny," he insisted still. "You cannot deny that you have had a better time with me, those few times we have met, than you have with your husband who barely looks at you and certainly never listens to you. You deserve better than that."
Robert was seething with anger. He waited for Cora to rebuke the man at once, but a long silence followed Bricker's words before finally he could hear her simply say:
"None of this is any of your business, Mr. Bricker. I have asked you to leave several times now, and I must do so one more time: please leave now or I will ring the bell."
Robert could not make out what Bricker said in return, his mind was reeling with too many thoughts, but the click of the door almost immediately afterwards told him the man had finally had the sense to leave.
It should have been Robert's cue to enter the room, but instead he took a few steps back, still unable to process what had actually happened. He had half a mind to follow Bricker to his guest chamber and give him a taste of his fists, but the rest of him felt too deflated to actually pursue that course of action.
He should have felt relieved that whatever this man had intended, had received no encouragement or reciprocation from Cora, but Robert could not shake off the feeling that she had not even tried to deny what Bricker had said about him. Was that how she truly felt? Ignored and passed over?
Robert buried his face in his hands, trying to recollect any recent looks and words to prove the opposite, but to his horror he could not remember the last time he had told her how much he cared for her, or even the last time he had asked her opinion on something and then truly listened to what she had to say. Worst of all, he had admonished her for flirting when Bricker had managed to put a smile on her face. He had let his jealousy get the better of him instead of trying to earn a smile for himself.
He had sworn to himself once, a very long time ago, that he would at least make her happy even if he didn't love her. How could he have so utterly failed to make her happy now, even though he loved her more than anything? When had he stopped cherishing every smile she gave him and started taking it all for granted?
Walking over to the adjoining door again, Robert placed his hand slowly on the handle. Should he let her be? Did she even want to see him? He hesitated a moment but his need to see her was greater than all his apprehensions. He knocked softly on the door and then pushed it open, without waiting for an answer.
Cora's eyes were wet with what could only be tears as she looked up, surprised, but not seemingly repulsed to see him. Robert felt a pang of guilt as he wondered how long she had been secretly this unhappy.
"You're back already," she said as she tried to discreetly wipe her eyes, as if she had not been crying. The small action gave Robert even more pain.
"The dinner was over early," he replied, striding over to where Cora sat, perched on the edge of their marital bed. He knelt down in front of her, taking her hands into his.
She seemed surprised by his action, but then began to pull her hands away. "Robert, there's something I must tell you," she began uneasily, but he could not put her through making a confession that was not needed. She had nothing to feel guilty about.
"I know that Bricker was in this room," he said before Cora could continue. Her eyes widened in shock, but again Robert spoke before she could say anything. "I was in the dressing and I heard voices. I know I shouldn't have eavesdropped, but I…" he trailed off, unable to find an excuse for himself.
"I didn't invite him," Cora said, looking straight at him. The honesty in her clear, blue eyes filled Robert's heart with a new wave of relief even though he had already heard the same truth through the dressing room door. It still felt good to hear her tell it to him directly.
"I know," he said, reclaiming her hands.
"When he came, I asked him to leave," she continued.
"I know," Robert repeated, pressing a kiss first on Cora's left knuckle and then the right. "I heard everything," he said.
"I'm sorry, Robert."
Robert paused. "Sorry?" he asked. "You have nothing to be sorry about."
"I let my guard down. I allowed him too much intimacy," Cora replied, her eyes now cast down. "If I had been more careful he would never have assumed I would be willing to…to…" She could not finish the sentence and neither could Robert.
"Then what about me?" he hastened to cut in. "If I had been the husband I should have been…" He trailed off too.
They both remained silent for a moment, the gravity of the moment hanging over them.
"I love you, Cora," Robert finally said, searching her eyes for understanding. "No matter how foolishly I sometimes act, I hope you know that is one thing that will never change."
Cora's lips curved into a slight smile even as a few fresh tears shone in her eyes.
"I know," she replied, "but I wouldn't object if you told me that more often."
"I'm so sorry I have taken you for granted for so long," Robert said softly, the guilt still weighing heavily on his heart. He brushed a strand of hair off her face and pressed his lips on her cheek, breathing in her scent.
"I'm sorry, too," Cora replied, smiling a little sadly at him as he pulled away. "Marriage takes two people, and I could have told you how I felt instead of letting someone else try to cheer me up when you wouldn't."
"You wouldn't have needed to tell me if I hadn't been a blind fool," Robert insisted, still unwilling to place the blame on anyone but himself, but her words had made him feel better regardless. He realized her words always had that effect on him. He smiled at Cora and she returned his smile.
"I love you, too, Robert," she said. "Only you," she added, taking his face between her hands, and the fraction of uncertainty that had remained in Robert's chest gave way to joy.
Cora was and always would be his home, and he had returned in time.