"Pyro is a Hydrophobic"
It was a dreadful day in Thunder Mountain. It was cold and rainy, something that rarely ever happened. Nevertheless, it was always dreary. The men who fought there were no different today, especially the BLU Medic. He had an awful battle that day, running around so much that his legs ached more than they usually did, yet there were even more casualties. Mind you, that didn't exactly matter because of respawn, but the good doctor liked to keep his teammates alive and healthy.
Medic trudged back to the base and to his room, tuning out the sounds of the Soldier yelling about what incompetent un-American maggots they were. As he entered his door, he decided that he needed to use one of the few luxuries this base had to offer.
When he emerged from his bedroom, he was wearing his robe and swim trunks with a towel slung over his shoulder. He tried to be as quiet as possible, trying not to attract any attention. Persistent teammates were not wanted in his relaxation time. They were his family, his home away from home, but sometimes they could get extremely annoying.
Medic found the door leading to the basement and opened it, flicked the light on, and descended down the stairs. When he finally reached the last stair, he felt extremely relieved when nobody else was in the room.
It was a pool and hot tub, which Medic thought was a bit odd, but it was convenient, since the team, mostly Scout, used the pool for length swimming, and the hot tub was good for relaxing. Well, unless the insane American patriot was in there, if so, anywhere else in the base was better.
The extremely exhausted doctor took off his robe and lowered himself into the hot tub with a satisfied sigh, closing his eyes and finally unwinding for the first time in a very, very long time.
"Hrrr Mrrdrrc!" Medic's eyes shot wide open as he looked beside him. He saw a fully suited Pyro, who was waving to him. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose underneath his glasses.
"Hello Pyro, how are you?" he asked halfheartedly.
"Mmm...wrrr, mm pphrr yrrr crrrmrrn drrnmrrph rrnd yrr mrrphd rrrrphmrrrp."
"You saw me? I zhought no one vas around. Anyvays, I am fine, I just need to relax a little bit."
"Rrrrkrrr, krrn rrr crrm rrn?"
"You vish to join me?" Medic chuckled a bit. "But Pyro, you are in an asbestos suit. Vhat ist zhe point of going in zhe vater?"
"Rrr crrn grrr rrn mrrrr mrrrdrrr rrrrph rrr mrrrt!"
"True, very vell, come in."
Pyro fidgeted for a bit, shifting on its feet. Medic watched with a slight smile on his face.
"Pyro, you look confused."
"wrrrl rr drrrn grrt rrt! Rrrts wrrrtrr, brrt rrts hrrrt! Lrrk phrr!"
"Just because somezhing ist hot doesn't make if fire. It's vater. But don't vorry, it von't hurt you. You'll be fine."
But the hydrophobic continued to stand and fidget by the water, making motions to enter the water and backing away at the last moment. Medic soon grew annoyed of this.
"If you're not going to come in, could you please leave me be so I can have some peace and quiet? Your boots are making zhe most irritating noise on zhe vet tile."
The firebug took a deep breath and slowly poked one finger into the water. It took its finger out, carefully inspecting it. Once a drop of water fell from its finger, it jumped and started making muffled screams. It rolled on the floor, holding it's hand and making panicked sounds. Medic just rolled his eyes at this.
"Pyro, vould you calm down?! It's just vater, nozhing is going to happen!"
"Brrrt drrc, rrt's mrrrltrrn mrr frrrngrr rrff!" Pyro continued to cry and roll on the ground.
Medic couldn't take this anymore. He wouldn't be able to relax with the sobbing hydrophobic on the floor next to the hot tub.
Sighing, the doctor climbed out, dried himself off, and pulled his robe on. He took Pyro by the hand, who was still crying and pleading for Medic to not let the water melt all his skin off. They walked up the stairs and down the hall to the infirmary, where Archimedes fluttered up to meet them. He cooed and landed on the doctor's shoulder, looking curiously at the muffling mess that was being dragged into the room.
Medic sat Pyro down a chair by a table and disappeared into the back of the room, returning with a small towel. He sat down at the opposite side of the table from the firebug and wiped all the water off of his gloved finger.
"Zhere. All better." The German picked up the towel and walked over to the small laundry basket in the corner of the room and chucked it in. When he turned around, Pyro was still there, holding its hand in the same position Medic had left it.
"Erm, Pyro, I'm done. You can leave now." The bewildered doctor told his patient.
Pyro still didn't budge, instead, it looked at Medic expectantly. "Wrrrp rrrt!"
At this point, Medic died a little inside, but complied. He walked back to his supplies cabinet, pulled out some gauze and tape, and gave an irritated groan when Pyro yelled at him to bring disinfectant.
Flopping down in the seat, the doctor put a bit of disinfectant on a piece of gauze. He glared at the hydrophobic as he wiped the gloved finger, who just stared back at him with blank lenses. He wrapped Pyro's finger with gauze and secured it with a small piece of tape.
"Zhere, NOW I'm done." He picked up his supplies and put them back in their proper place in the drawer, groaning once again when he turned around to see Pyro still sitting in the same position at the table.
"Vhat did I forget now?!" He asked, annoyed.
The firebug lifted his hand and pointed to it. "Yrr hrrf trr krrrs rrt brrtrr!"
"…You're serious?" Medic's face was pulled into an expression of absolute disbelief and slight irritation.
Pyro just nodded its head.
"Do I haff to?!" Medic whined.
Pyro nodded its head even more vigorously.
The doctor groaned, but decided that he'd just do it and then he'd be able to go to sleep without being bothered. He trudged over to his picky patient, leaned over, and gave its finger a little kiss.
The pyromaniac clapped happily, bounding over to the man who had 'saved its life', and pulled him into a tight hug, muffling its thanks.
"Ja, ja, now get to bed, kinder." Medic chuckled slightly, patting the top of Pyro's masked head.
Pyro skipped down the hall happily, humming "Do You Believe in Magic?" Medic caught himself smiling as he observed the strange mercenary. He…she…it was annoying at times, but the doctor would admit that it made up for that in innocence and willingness to help its teammates.
He stretched and yawned, walking down the hall back to his room. He changed his pajamas and flopped down into his bed. It felt strangely softer than usual, and he felt himself slowly drifting off into sleep…
…Until his door swung open, revealing a very annoyed Heavy carrying a pouting Scout with a bloodied nose.
"DOKTOR! Scout needs your help, got into another fight with Soldier after battle."
Medic let out a small sigh into his pillow before he pulled himself off his bed and walked towards the door.
"Come now, Scout, let's get zhat nose cleaned up."
Yes, these 8 other mercenaries that he fought beside and lived with could get a little annoying, but they were his family, his home away from home.