Hi everyone. I had this idea one night when I couln't sleep. After that, I still couldn't sleep because I was laughing my ass off. This is my first fanfiction, so please comment and point out every single mistake I made. Flames are welcomed too.
Disclaimer: If I owned Fullmetal Alchemist, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction about it. This would all be canon material.
"There, it's done" Winry mumbled to herself while she stopped stirring the soup. The table was already set for dinner and the only thing missing was her husband, who was currently working in his study in the basement. She then crossed the little hallway to fetch him, knowing that if he was engrossed in his research she couldn't hope to bring him upstairs just calling him from afar. When Winry opened the door leading to the basement she was welcomed by a very familiar scene: Ed, sitting at his desk, facing the opposite wall, in a dim light, writing furiously whit his right hand, while his left searched through some books.
"Dinner's ready" she announced while descending the stairs. Ed all but jumped from the sudden voice.
"Damn, woman, you scared the shit outta me". He turned to face her.
"Next time I'm gonna sneak up to you and start tickling" she menaced with a laugh. "Are you writing a new book?" Winry asked, noticing the scattered papers all across the desk. Ed looked away and got up, encircling her in a sudden embrace.
"Yeah, sort of" he answered.
"What do you mean, sort of? Is it about a new branch of alchemy?" she inquired. At this point, Ed blushed a bit before nodding, which Winry thought was strange, since he was always eager to talk about his new discoveries. "Are you hiding something, Mr Elric?" she asked, trying to distance herself from the hug to take a better look at the notes. Ed held her thigh and tilted her head, so that he could lean in for a brief kiss. "Always so curious, are you? Tell you what, the topic of my new book shall be a surprise for our baby" he said softly, caressing her lightly swollen belly. She started melting at the touch and suddenly Edward's new book was forgotten, at least for the time being.
During the next few months Winry knew that something was off, but she knew better than to try and pry secrets out of her husband, because this would only get him to clam up. Still, that didn't stop her from keeping an eye out for clues. Ed was particularly jealous of his notes and stopped leaving them all around the house, and when she entered his study he was always rapid to hide some stack of papers under others covered with arrays. He would also phone to a number of people, which from their discussion she understood were Ed's editors. Apparently, the book was proceeding well, if they were already talking about publishing, but Ed had yet to tell her anything. There was also the time when Al called, and the brothers were engrossed in a long, whispered conversation. All she could hear – not that she was eavesdropping, she just happened to pass by – was something about pseudonyms: "No, that won't work. I can't sully my name over this. And besides, Mustang and the team would never let me hear the end of it" Ed had said, but then he had noticed her standing by the doorway and had shut up, and whatever comment Al had made only got mumbles in response until she left the room.
A couple of months after that episode, Winry was growing tired of all this secretiveness, and this was starting to ruin her mood. Or maybe was the fact that her belly grew bigger every day, making it difficult to move around, she reasoned. She was currently modelling a new automail leg for Den, because the old dog had become too weak to rise her old one, so maybe she could drop the percentage of iron of at least one third…
The sudden bang of the front door closing shut distracted her from her thoughts. "Ed, how many times do I have to remind you, DON'T SLAM THE DAMN DOOR!" She took her favourite wrench and headed to the threshold, deciding to hit Ed repeatedly until he begged for mercy, and maybe he could tell her what all the secret was about already. With that idea in mind, Winry marched up to Ed, who was sporting a sardonic grin and was still wrapped up in his coat.
"Yeah, sorry about that" he said, "but I had my hands full". He had indeed come home from grocery shopping with three heavy bags. She sighed, already feeling the irritation growing smaller. Ed went to the kitchen where he put the bags on the table and she went with him to help him store the supply away.
"Oh, just so you know" Winry turned to face Ed with a puzzled look, a pack of flour in her hand. "What?" she asked. "The book I was writing has been printed and today I found a copy at the shop, thought you would want to read it, so here you go" he handed her a thick book with a hard cover and letters in gold. She took it and Ed decided that this was the best moment to leave the room, chuckling to himself. Left alone, Winry examined the book more closely, and everything from the title – 'Love beyond reason' – to the cover itself – a man and a woman occupied in a passionate kiss – indicated that it was a romantic novel. Incredulous at the thought that Ed – Ed, of all people – could write about love without slicing his wrists first, she turned the book to read the synopsis.
'Major King and his assistant Elizabeth have loved each other for quite a long time, but they have to keep it a secret because of the anti-fraternization laws that forbid military officers to date fellow soldiers. But one day they make each other a promise: King will rise through the ranks and Elizabeth will help him, until he will be in a position to amend the laws and they will be together. Will they be able to make their dream come true?'
Winry rushed to the living room, where Ed was sitting on the couch, still grinning and looking pleased with himself.
"Edward, what's the meaning of this?" she asked dryly, holding the book in front of him. He leaned his elbows on his knees and crossed his fingers. "I was worried because with the baby we'll need more money and I wanted to make sure that we were well enough so that you could take all the time off you need after the birth" he lifted his eyes to cross with hers, and Winry felt a sudden warmth at the kind smile that bloomed on his face.
"This is very sweet Ed, but still I don't see how the two things correlate" she commented. "Oh, that's easy" he said, gesturing for her to come and sit near him "Romantic novels are the most sold books nowadays, my editor assured me. I wrote it when I encountered a set back during my last research and it took very little, all things considered". He sounded very proud of his accomplishment of writing a novel in a couple of months, and Winry couldn't deny that she was amazed, either, but still…
"But did you have to retell Roy and Riza's love story? I don't think he will be happy about this" she voiced her worries.
"Don't worry, Mustang would never read that garbage they call romantic novel" he laughed "and even if he did, he won't be able to tell anything, because first he would have to admit he read it".
"You do realise that you are practically insulting your own creation, right?" Her husband got up and, with only a laugh for an answer, he returned to the kitchen. Winry was astonished, after all these years there were still times when Ed's way of thinking would make no sense to her. Sighing, she realised that she still held the pack of flour and followed the blond, deciding that, after all, a light reading could enlighten her mood.
Winry was due in a week or so and even walking from the couch to the table was taking a toll on her. Edward had taken on himself almost every chore, so that she could rest properly. She was currently lying on said couch, reading 'Love beyond reason' for the third time. She had to admit, although she had been wary at first, it really was enjoyable. When the phone rang, Winry almost missed it, engrossed as she was in the reading. She lifted her arm to pick it up and answered distractively: "Rockbell automail, how may I help you?"
"Good morning Mrs Elric, this is General Mustang" a deep voice answered.
"Roy, we are on first name basis since you got drunk at my wedding" Winry repeated for the umpteenth time. This had been hers and Roy's way of starting every single conversation for years now.
"Whatever, can I talk to Fullmetal? It's important" Roy urged.
"Yeah, sure, wait a moment… ED! ROY'S ON THE PHONE!"
"COMING!"
Ed arrived from the other room and took the receiver from her. Winry pulled out her book again, wondering what the urgency was all about.
"Hey, Colonel Bastard!" Ed greeted.
"FULLMETAL, WHAT THE FUCK HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU?!" Winry froze and decided to feign to be interested in her book when she was in truth leaning as near to the phone as she could. This was going to be interesting.
"I'm not with the military anymore, are you so old that you start forgetting things?!" Ed replied bitterly.
"As long as you keep calling me Colonel I'll call you Fullmetal! But enough with it. Answer my question. What the fuck made you think that it was a good idea writing a book based on me and Riza?! Did you really believe I wouldn't realise it was you? Let me tell you this: Clare Derwid is a really stupid anagram!"
"Took you long enough, the book has been out for weeks and it's a success: 100000 copies sold, we are thinking of reprinting. You see, people love your love story, you two should get married for real". Distantly, Winry wondered when did the tables turn, and Ed was the one keeping cool while Roy ranted.
"I don't have a love story with Riza" Roy pointed out.
"But you could. Anyways, how did you find out?" Ed leaned against the counter, fiddling with the cord.
"Riza has a copy on her night stand".
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Anyways, you are not allowed to imply such things, whether in a fictional novel or not. I will court martial you".
"Weren't you listening, dumbass?! I'm not a soldier anymore!"
"Then I'll burn every single copy of that thing you dare call a novel!"
"As long as you buy them first, fine to me. I'm only after the money, I have a family I must sustain, now. Anyways, since it is a success so far, I was thinking of sending a copy to Al, make him translate it and distribute all over Xing".
"I'm coming to Resembool to burn you. You're warned, Fullmetal, you'd better start running".
"Of course you're coming to Resembool, you wouldn't want to miss the birth of my first child, would you? It's only a week away. Oh, now I gotta go, tell Riza I said hi and don't forget to bring a present for the kid when you're coming. I won't allow you to become a shitty grandpa". With that final statement Ed slammed the receiver without waiting for an answer on Roy's part. "You know" he addressed Winry, "I was thinking of making a series out of it, it's too funny" and he left the room laughing loudly. Winry sighed and caressed her belly. "Your father is a moron".
By the way, 'Love beyond reason' is a real novel by Sandra Brown. I didn't read it, but the title was too awesome.
Thanks for reading!