No More Hiding

(Warning! Contains Shounen Ai and Yaoi.)

I've known him since we were kids. He's always been my family. We grew up together, laughed together, and survived together. Even died together. Twice. I know. I know. You must think I'm crazy but this is my third chance at life and to be honest it's the best out of all of them. Sure there are bits and pieces of my former lives I wish I could relive but we all do. And there are many things I wish to forget but oh well that's life for ya. The best way to put it...Life is a bitch with its moments. And even after having two lives over and gone I still can't tell him. Tell him my true feelings. I love him. I always have and always will. Lately, it's gotten so hard hiding my feeling. Everytime he looks at me, my heart stops. The sound of his voice makes me blush. Just by hearing his name sends my heart racing. I need to tell him before my loneliness eats away at my heart...but I can't. I can't. What if he doesn't feel the same or ruins our friendship? It won't just break my heart but my very being. Every part of me will be broken. I love him so much and loved him for so long.

He was the first one I let become close to me after years of loneliness and sadness. He was the first one who saw my tears. The first person who showed me pure happiness. The first one who got through to me. Who believed in me. Who's been through everything with me. The good and the bad times. He was the first person I ever loved.

"Onii-san."

"Huh?" I turn. It's my reincarnation, Maiyo. "Yeah, what is it?"

"Well, I'm been wondering when you were going to do this but..," she starts, "when are you going to tell Bankotsu how you feel? You can't hide your feelings forever." My heart starts to race. She said his name. Cool tears stream down my face. "I-I don't k-know. Damn it! I don't know! I'm just so used to hiding my feelings. I've always been able to live with my loneliness but now...now it's just so damn hard. You're right. I can't do this forever but...I can't tell him either. Bankotsu may not feel the same. It could also ruin our friendship. What the hell do I do?"

"Just come out and say it-"

"That's easy for you to say but...Maiyo have you ever loved someone so much it hurts because they don't know? To have it hurt so much you can't even bear it? To love someone with every ounce of your very being? To love with all your heart and soul?"

"Y-Yes..."

She says it so softly I can bearly hear hear. "Who then?"

"Mi-Mi...," she starts crying, "Mizu..." Mizuki is who she means. Mizuki, or as she likes to be called 'Mizu', is Bankotsu's reincarnation. I try and comfort her. "Figures. I'm in love with Bankotsu and you with his reincarnation. How long have you loved her?"

"Since the secord I saw her. I can't hide anymore. No more hiding. No more."

"Okay, if you tell Mizu soon than I'll tell Bankotsu. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Hey, Maiyo, come on! It's getting late!" Mizu calls.

"Okay! Bye, Jakotsu."

"Bye, Maiyo. Bye, Mizu!"

Before she turns the corner, Bankotsu appears and gives her a hug goodbye. When she's gone, he approaches. He takes a seat next to me. "Did you hear anything of what me or Maiyo said to each other?"

"No."

"Okay."

"But..um..Jakotsu do you remember back in our first lives that time just a few days before we got our apprentince?"

"Yes..."

"Well, you never told me what was bothering you. What was it?"

Damn it! He could have asked about anything but it had to be that moment. I get up and take a few steps foward. "It's was nothing!"

"Jakotsu, come on. Don't pull this crap again! What the hell? What is it you can't tell me?"

It's now or never. "That...that I..."

"That you what? Out will it! Damn it!"

My heart is pounding so hard it's going to burst. Alright here goes nothing. "That...I love you! I always have! I've hidden my feelings for so long. I can't take it anymore! Damn it! I love you! I love you! I love you! You get it now! That's why! If you don't feel the same I understand. I just want to stay friends. Okay? Now can you just leave me alone for bit?" I hear him get up but he comes closer. "Jakotsu, I..." He reaches for my hand. I pull it away before he gets it. "I said leave me alone."

He makes another attempt but fails. I run off. I can't take it. It's too much. Bankotsu follows not too far behind. Damn it! Just leave me the hell alone! He makes one last attempt to grab my hand. He's successful.

He backs me up against a tree and holds me in place by my shoulders. I fight back. "Bankotsu! Let me go!" He wraps his arms around me. "That's the last thing I need to do now." He then place his hands on my cheeks and kisses me. I continue to fight back by pounding on his chest. He finally pulls away. "Why won't you let me go?" He's silent for a bit.

"...Because I love you." He kisses me again but with more passion. L-loves me? Why didn't I see it? I'm melting into the kiss. Bankotsu, I...I can't deny you any longer.

(A/N: As of now I can't think of anything. The yaoi parts will be in later chapter but I just thought I'd warn you now.)