Chapter 1
Anxiety
AN: I don't own Fairy Tail I am merely borrowing the characters to make my own story. This story will be rated M for suicide, death and crime related things not for any sexual themes so if you are looking for them you'll have to look somewhere else. This will be a school fanfiction and set in an alternate universe so it will not have magic involved.
My name is Lucille Grace Heartfilia, I am fifteen years old, I live with my dad my mom died giving birth to me and my dad blames me for her dying. Every day after he comes home from work he drinks and drinks until he was drunk or passed out. I take care of myself and try to good and listen to my dad and give him his drinks. If I don't get them fast enough he will hit me so I try to go as fast as I can. But there are times that even if I get him his drinks he will be so drunk that he will beat me up. Each night I cry myself to sleep and pray that tomorrow he won't hit me. I don't tell anyone afraid of what might happen if my dad finds out that I said something. So when I started kindergarden I made sure to keep my bruises covered so no one would see them. The ones I couldn't cover I lied about saying I fell or accidentally ran into something. It wasn't any better at school I was teased and picked on because I was the biggest klutz. I was labeled a klutz because of the bruises I had that could be seen that and I was clumsy anyway. As I grew up I began to cover up the bruises with make-up so people wouldn't get suspicious. I knew that one day I would be found out but I never expected to wake up and today be that day.
"Hey look it's the klutz." My biggest bully Natsu Dragneel said as I came into the class. The rest of the class laughed with him while I sat in my usual spot alone in the back of the classroom. "Hey nerd walk into a shelf again?" Natsu taunted me. I tried to ignore him taking out my books and notebook I needed for the class. "Or maybe you put on too much make up today." Natsu continued. "Don't you ever shut up?" I muttered under my breath. "Do you want to say something?" Natsu asked. "Nothing." I replied cooly but bitterly. "That's what I thought." He said laughing. The rest of the day went like that and at the end I stayed in the library for a while then changed into normal clothes like I usually did. Then like I did when I was lonely I went to the school's roof to sing away my feelings before going home for another night of my dad's abuse. I suffer from depression that I mask so no one will know that I have it but suppressing it has only made it worse. As I have gotten older my dad's abuse became more frequent and almost everyday so it worsened my depression. Recently I had contemplated the idea of suicide and the more I thought about it the more I thought about actually doing it. So after another bad day at school I changed into a sundress and removed any make up I was wearing and let my hair out of its bun letting it cascade down my shoulders and back. I looked so much like my mom, I had seen a picture of her and I think my dad's abuse worsened because I reminded him of her and it hurt him to even look at me.
I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my bruises on most of my body some being covered by my waist length wavy hair. I then grabbed my things and went up to the roof to sing like I always did. I set my things down and began to sing dancing around a bit just letting loose and the tears coursed down my face as I did. Then the thought of suicide again crossed my mind and I continued singing as I walked towards the edge of the roof. I began another song as I reached the edge standing there watching the sunset knowing that it was going to be my last one. I sang with all my might not caring if anyone heard me just letting the wind blow my hair around. As I finished the song I was about to walk off the roof when a pair of arms wrapped around my waist picking me up. "Don't do it." The person who had picked me up said. "Let me go!" I screamed struggling against the muscular arms that held me. "No if I do you'll jump." The person replied backing away from the edge. "That's the point you idiot, I want to die so let me go!" I screamed back. "Why do you want to die?" The person asked still holding me tightly. "None of your business you jackass! Why do you even care if I die?" I screamed back.
"Because I can't just stand and watch someone take their life, not again, not like my dad!" The person shouted back. I stopped struggling hearing those words come out of the person's mouth. "Please put me down I promise I won't jump." I said in a normal voice. "Alright but if I let you go and you try to jump again I will pick you up again and not let you go until we get on solid ground." He said putting me down and letting go of me. "Thank you, now if you don't mind I need to get home." I said walking over to my things. "So I save your life and you don't stop to say thank you to my face?" The person said to me. "You sound just like the jackass I have to deal with everyday but thank you, thank you for stopping me from dying and putting myself out of my misery." I said sarcastically turning towards him. The moment my eyes landed on the person I realized that the person who I hated the most the one who teased me relentlessly was the one who stopped me from jumping, the one and only Natsu Dragneel. "You're welcome." He said back equally sarcastic. "You don't know who I am do you?" I asked realizing he had no idea. "No I don't." Natsu answered. "Well if you don't know then I won't bother telling you, goodbye Natsu." I said heading home.
The moment I walked in the door I shuddered knowing what I was in for. "Lucy where have you been?!" My father screamed at me as he began his assault. The rest of the night was spent with him yelling at me and hitting me until he finally passed out so I went to bed dreading the morning. I woke up got dressed in my uniform put my hair in its usual bun then covered as many of my bruises as I could and I got most of them. The hardest to cover up was the cuts I had gotten from broken bottles or falling against something and the swelling. I grabbed my things and walked to school like I always did and I walked into my classroom for another day of school. After school was over I was caught off guard when someone grabbed my wrist and dragged me from the classroom and up to the roof. "What the hell are you doing?" I shouted to the person. After the words left my mouth the person drenched me in water making my bun fall out and all the make up I used to cover my bruises wash off. "I knew it." He said. "Natsu I should have known it was you, you are such a jerk!" I yelled pushing my hair out of my face. "It was you who tried to jump off the roof yesterday wasn't it?" Natsu asked. "Yeah so what?" I yelled at him shivering. "Here use this." Natsu said tossing a big fluffy towel at me. "Thanks, turn around I have a change of clothes and I don't want you watching me change." I said taking my after school clothes from my bag.
"I'm done." I said once I was done the towel was on my head. "What the hell happened to you, why would you commit suicide?" Natsu asked gesturing to me. "Why should you care but to answer your question, it was my family and you." I spat back at him. "Yesterday I saw your bruises, there's more today." Natsu said looking over me. "You what?" I asked surprised. "Yesterday when I stopped you from jumping I saw the bruises all over your arms, legs, face, neck and chest." Natsu replied grabbing onto my arms. "Those are nothing." I said trying to lie. "You call these nothing it looks like you were beaten black and blue. I know I haven't been nice to you but that is just how I act because of my past but I really care about you so tell me what happened to you." Natsu said in a soft but serious tone. "I can't tell you." I said even though I felt like I wanted to. "Here how about I tell you about my past then you can tell me what happened." Natsu said. "But I…" He cut me off before I finished my sentence. "My mom died giving birth to me and my dad didn't blame me for it but he went into a deep depression always drinking and then when I was ten he took some sleeping pills and never woke up. He committed suicide so deep was his grief from losing her that he couldn't stand to live without her." Natsu said. "Oh Natsu I'm so sorry." I said tears falling from my eyes. "That's why I picked on you my heart was broken and I was angry so I had to take it out on someone and unfortunately you were that person I chose to take it out on." Natsu explained further.
"I forgive you Natsu but I still can't tell you how I got these bruises and cuts." I said wiping away my tears. "Why not?" He asked. "Because I can't now if you'll excuse me I'm going home." I said grabbing my wet uniform and bag. I walked home and I got home and when I got there my dad was waiting for me on the couch. "Lucy bring me my beer." He called to me. While I was bringing him his drink a knock came on the door so I handed my dad his drink. Then I went to see who was at the door and when I opened it there was Natsu. "Natsu how did you know I lived here?" I asked surprised to see him. "I followed you." He answered. "Go away Natsu." I said closing the door. He began knocking on the door asking me to open it up but I ignored it. "Lucy make that sound stop." Dad said becoming angry. "Go away Natsu you're bothering us." I said opening the door then closing it. He continued to knock and as he did my dad became angrier and he began to abuse me and finally his breaking point came and he went to the door a large knife in his hand. He opened the door and was about to hurt Natsu with the knife so I lunged forward and stood in front of him and the knife plunged into my chest instead. I gasped as it went in and fell backwards into the hallway of the apartment building gasping for air. The last thing I could remember was Natsu holding me in his arms while he called 911, then everything went black.