Ignorance Is Bliss

Disclaimer: I don't own criminal Minds or any of its characters.

Chapter One

Sitting on the bathroom floor of her parent's Italian villa fifteen year old Emily Prentiss's body shook. With her back resting against the marble bathtub the young brunette's mind kept replaying the same mantra over and over again. "What the hell am I going to do?"

Raising her dark liquid eyes to settle once more on the white plastic stick that rested in her long shaking fingers she stared at the two pink lines indicating her worse fear. "I can't be... pregnant"

"This isn't happening, this can't happen!" Emily told herself as she let the pregnancy test slip from her fingers and hit the floor with a thud, it's hollow ringing constantly replaying in her ears. "It was my first time who... who... gets pregnant on their first time" she laughed, but not an ounce of humour laced the sound escaping her lips.

Feeling the anguish build and her stomach begin to knot, a harsh wave of reality washed over Emily's slim body. Bringing her knees up to her chest, and resting her forehead down upon them, she tried to suppress the sob that threatened to rip through her body. "No Dam it, Don't cry" she scolded herself as the words she had heard her mother say numerous times throughout her childhood rang through her ears. "Emily, stop crying, you're a Prentiss, you don't let people see you cry". Bullshit.

But Emily was scared and worried, and most of all she felt alone, more alone then she had her whole life. Feeling her body shake harder as she struggled to hold back the tears that threatened to spill, she knew she only had one option, one route she could take. "I can't have a baby..."

Finding strength she didn't know she had, she picked up the pregnancy test and glanced one more time, praying that the two lines might have miraculously changed to one before she pushed herself up from the floor. Feeling her legs shake underneath, she clutched onto the rim of the sink and pushed the plastic stick into the back pocket of her jeans.

Looking up at her reflection in the large mirror above the sink, Emily sighed as she took in her reflection. "I need to tell Matthew" she whispered so quietly she wasn't even sure she had spoken the words. Pulling a strand of dark raven hair back behind her ear and running her fingers through her fringe, Emily couldn't help but notice how pale and tired she looked. "What if someone finds out about this... what if my mother finds out?" As the thought crossed her mind her stomach tightened once more as a sickness rose up into her chest. The Ambassador could never find out about this, god knows what she would do if she did...

"Breathe... Just breathe" Emily told herself as she feared she may actually be sick. "You're a Prentiss you can do this... "

"You're Strong" she added, the words dripping with sarcasm.

Finely moving away from the sink and heading towards the bathroom door she slowly re-erected the walls that she had recently learnt she had, walls that when everything got too much she could hide behind and feel safe.

Moving quickly away from the bathroom and heading along the upstairs hallway towards her room Emily stopped as she saw Rosanna heading her way. Knowing there was nowhere to hide from housekeeper the brunette quickly dropped her gaze and carried on walking.

"Miss Emily, are you alright?" the middle aged woman asked as she grew level with brunette, her English accent heavily laced with Italian.

"I'm fine, Thank You" Emily automatically replied, but made the vital error of making eye contact with the older women.

Roseanna was taken aback for only a second as her brain registered the sight in front of her eyes. Never had she seen Miss Emily look like this, her usual complexion of rosy cheeks and glowing skin had vanished, and had been replaced by a grey pasty covering, her dark onyx eyes which usually shone with excitement and innocence verged on dull as if the weight of the world rested on her young shoulders.

"No you're not, Miss Emily" the older women replied as she instinctively caught the younger girl's hands in her own worked pair. "My God, their ice cold" she added the concern evident in her voice.

Emily could feel the panic start to rise through her body as if she had been cornered by a pack of wolves and had nowhere to run.
"I'm fine Rosanna" she snapped as she snatched them away and turned on her heel.

"I'm sorry Miss Emily" the housekeeper quickly replied fearing she had over stepped her mark; but hurt at the same time as she had never seen the youngest Prentiss act like this. Maybe her parent's where finally wearing off onto her she thought?

Stopping dead in her tracks as the hurt tone of Rosanna's voice met her ears; Emily turned herself around to find the other women walking briskly away. Closing her eyes for the briefest moment as regret settled low in her stomach, the brunette questioned whether her parent's moral superiority had finally managed to infiltrate her.

"Roseanna... Wait!" Emily called as she promised herself she would never turn into the cold, predictable people her parents had. "I'm fine... really" Drawing level with the housemaid her voice back to its usual tone she took the older women's hands in her own and spoke in delicate Italian "I'm sorry".

Rosanna couldn't hide the smile that spread over her thin lips as she recognised the Emily Prentiss she knew and loved, The Emily Prentiss that was nothing like her callus parents, and the Emily Prentiss who was kind, caring and considerate.

"No Miss Emily, I'm sorry it was none of my Concern... I was just worried; you don't seem your usual self" the Italian women replied as she brought her hand up to sweep across Emily's forehead in a motherly gesture. "Is there anything you would like to talk about?"

If only you knew...

At that moment, Emily felt her emotional foundations begin to shake; the barriers that she was trying so hard to hide behind where on the verge of toppling right in front of her.
Here was a woman, who was no more than hired help and whom Emily had known for less than twelve months, but at that moment, seemed to worry and care about her more then what her own parents ever had. To them Emily knew she was just a political pawn, but despite this her heart ached and craved for the love and affection she had been neglected
What she would have given to be able to wrap her arms tight around Rosanna's curvy waist and cry into her shoulder as she let out her inner most fears, but that was the thing wasn't it...? Emily didn't know how to. She didn't know how to open herself up to people and let them help her...except for Matthew.

"No it's okay... I've just got a headache" she replied softly.

"Okay Miss Emily" Rosanna once more replied, but she let her wise eyes search across the brunette's face. "Would you like me to get Lucca to bring you some food up, I'm sure we can keep it our secret that you eat up stairs?"

"No Thank You... I can always come down later and get something" Emily said as she forced a smile across her cherry lips as she tried to reassure the other women that she really was okay.

With that Rosanna smiled satisfied, and turned to leave Emily, but not before she gently squeezed the brunettes shoulder.

Hearing the Italian woman's loafers slowly pad across the highly varnished floor Emily shut her eyes tight and clinched her jaw as she forced herself not to drop to the floor there and then. "How am I going to get through this?"

Feeling her hands clinch into fists, Emily knew she had to get to her bedroom and quick. Stepping forward and feeling like the world was spinning around her she rushed towards the safety that only her room could bring.

Reaching for the brass door knob that would allow her entry to the room, Emily watched as her knuckles turned white from the pressure she applied.

Finally making her way to the bed that sat proudly in the middle of the room, the brunette threw herself down into the middle with the back of her knees hanging over the edge of the mattress.

Letting her brown eyes stare up at the artistically rendered ceiling and the crystal chandelier which sparkled from the afternoon sun that shone through the floor to ceiling windows, Emily let out a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding.

So many things where spiralling through her mind that she felt sick. "How have I let myself get into this situation?" She whispered to no one in particular as a lone tear slid down her cheek.

"All I wanted to do was fit in"

Pushing herself up onto her elbows and staring across at her nightstand as she brushed harshly at her wet skin, Emily knew what she needed...

Walking over to the white night stand she reached for the second draw and pulled. Pushing her hand towards the back she let her long fingers search for the two items she needed. Feeling the cardboard packet and the cool metal slide across the tips of her fingers Emily closed her eyes and let out a small sigh.

Walking back to the bed, Cigarettes and lighter with her, Emily didn't hesitate in sliding one of the white sticks from its foil wrapping.

Placing the tip between her lips as she flicked the end of the lighter, Emily found her eyes gently lifting upwards as she let out a small breath. "Smoking...I did it to piss them off, to prove that "Their Emily" as they were so familiar with saying at every political function they could drag me along to, wasn't as perfect as they thought..."

Not even caring to open a window to hide the evidence, Emily breathed in one long drag of smoked filled air before slowly exhaling it.

Feeling the last of the warm air travel down her throat she shut her eyes as her conscious stirred inside. "Emily what are you doing? You're... pregnant... smoking's going to harm the baby".
Snapping her eyes back open and looking at the swirls of smoke hanging lifeless in the air, Emily placed her hand on top of her perfectly flat stomach and spread her fingers.

"How can I be pregnant? There's not even a bump. How can there be anything possibly growing inside of me?"

Leaving her hand on her midriff she brought her eyes once more to the cigarette that rested between her index and middle finger of her right hand, her dark eyes zoning in on its smouldering end. "Why should I care about this baby... it's not like I can keep it! She spat before she felt her bottom lip start to tremble.

Taking a deep breath as she once more tried to pull herself under control and lock her feelings away, she knew she couldn't be reckless or selfish.
She had only know officially about this baby for less than half an hour, but already somewhere deep inside the depths of her heart she cared for it.

Getting up off the bed and walking over to the window, she opened the middle panel and stubbed the cigarette against the wall before letting it float down to the ground below. Letting her brown eyes stare up at the late afternoon sun Emily knew what she had to do; and dragging it out wasn't going to make it any easier.

Turning to the phone which was next to her wardrobe, she picked up the handset and stared down at it as her heart hammered inside her chest and she felt her mouth go dry. Letting her long delicate fingers type the number she had grown so accustomed to calling, usually in the middle of the night when she felt most alone, Emily felt her stomach tighten and her nerves buzz as the Italian dialling tone rang down her ear.

"Hello" Emily heard an American male voice say.

"Matt... It's Emily. I need to speak to you now...It's really important"