Yet another angsty EC piece...Carillon Beach is chugging along slowly...anyway, this is post-Dissolved.

How It Ends

It'd been just one of those days.

One of those days where the humidity was making the back of her neck sweat, and making him wish that he didn't have to get out of bed this morning. After some playful banter and flirting poolside at the start of their shift, the day had steadily gone downhill...had completely gone to hell. Ryan dodging bullets, Tara popping pills, Julia going nutty (again) and Eric taking clandestine phone calls from daddy dearest.

Calleigh hadn't been angry so much as she'd been concerned, hurt a little that he didn't trust her enough to tell her the truth the first time.

He caught her just outside of the morgue, looking quite glum and walking slowly toward the lab, deep in thought. He wonders if now is the time to try and talk to her, perhaps help her to understand just what is going on, considering how she'd been avoiding him since he told her the truth. He doesn't even know what'd been worse: the lie or the truth. Either way, the end result was him hurting Calleigh. He definitely knows that it's not worth it to lie to her because for one, she knows, and two, he can't bear to see that look in her eyes. That look of both confusion and hurt that he'd been able to lie to her so easily and think that she'd be occupied enough not to notice or care.

Of course, finally working up the courage to tell her the truth didn't seem to go over as well as he thought. He didn't expect her to forgive him right then and there, but he'd hoped that the truth would help her understand the lie. That backfired too because he'd already violated something that is at the crux of their entire relationship: trust.

Calleigh sighs as she rubs over her shoulder, and she looks up and sees him approaching. She stops and she lets him come closer to her.

Eric is close to her, but he doesnt touch her because he has a feeling that she will not be very receiving of his advances, for good reason. Her tension, the stiffness and biting of her lip is her response to nervousness, and knowing that he can't comfort her right now makes his guilt that much deeper. Right now, her eyes hold nothing but sadness, and God help him if they begin to show signs of tears...that will most definitely break his heart because that is the last thing he wants is to make her cry. Granted, she's gorgeous when she cries, fucked up as it sounds, but he doesn't want to be the cause.

She offers a ghost of a grin then she moves past him.

"I-I'm gonna go home," she announces.

"Calleigh wait," he says, gently catching her arm. "I need to talk to you..."

"Eric I can't do this with you right now," she sighs, not putting up much of a fight. "I just want to go home."

He nods. "Alright, we'll go home, but-"

"No," she interrupts softly. "I think I need to be by myself tonight...I need to have some time by myself tonight to think, okay?"

Calleigh doesn't want to talk about it with him because she already knows that he's going to do what he wants to do, regardless of what she says to him. Besides, it's only fair, she supposes because she doesn't ask about his father for the same reasons he doesn't ask about hers. Although, if she's going to go down that road, she has the very valid point that her father didn't try to first kill her, then almost let her get deported because of a fake birth certificate. The risk of personal injury concerning her father is considerably low compared to his.

"I am so sorry for lying to you," he says sincerely. "I just didn't want to worry you."

"Well you did anyway," she says a little more harshly than she'd intended. "It's bad enough that you purposefully wanted to keep me in the dark, but when you told me that it was your father and then just blew it off like he's not the most dangerous person in your life...that concerns me, Eric."

"If I told you everything, then you'd be in danger too," he explains. "I just want you to be safe."

"And what makes you think I don't want the same for you?" She asks, pulling away from him. "Dammit Eric...we're in a relationship, nothing is one sided anymore."

She presses her lips together, shaking her head.

"I just spoke to a woman today that has to bury her husband, brother-in-law and sister," she says quietly. "Three people whom she loved dearly all at once. Most of her family...because some assholes decided to kill them for grins and giggles on the side of the road. Her husband just pulled over because the car broke down and it got him and the rest of the family killed. A random act of violence..."

Eric puts his hands into his pockets. "I know how to protect myself, if that's what youre getting at."

"No, that's not what I'm saying Eric," she argues. "What I'm saying is that those people...those innocent people had no clue what was coming! And that's why it makes me angry to think that you're risking your life for a man that you know is dangerous and that you know doesn't have your best interest at heart."

"Calleigh, this situation with my father is different," he says. "I have to help, but like you said, it's dangerous, he's dangerous and the last thing I want is for you to be caught in the middle and get hurt."

"Well I already am hurt so you can cross that off your list," she sniffles. "Eric, you and I both know how unpredictable life already is...we've both nearly seen our deaths more times than any two people should because of things completely out of our control. But this you can control. You can protect yourself, and so can Sharova. You don't have to help him."

He sees her eyes glistening with tears, but he knows that her stubborn nature will make her refuse to let them fall. In all of the months they've been dating, even in all the years of their friendship, he's never seen Calleigh this open, this vulnerable. Her heart is right here before him, and knowing that she is nearly desperate in her attempt to get him to see the logic in her reasoning makes it that much harder. Of course her argument makes perfect sense, and God he loves her; he's crazy because he loves it when she's right-no matter what it is-he loves her when she's right. But this time, he's not going to acquiesce.

"It's more than me just helping," he says, trying to find the best way to explain it to her. "I know that he's not exactly a law abiding citizen, but I want-need to just...know more. This is a piece of my life that I've been lied to about and now that I have the truth, I just need to find an end, some closure."

She steps forward and puts her hands on his chest, the first time they've made physical contact at work at this level of intimacy.

"Why can't you just let it go?" She asks quietly. "There are some things that just aren't worth knowing..."

"Calleigh-"

"Please just listen," she says softly. "You're a wonderful man, and you have a good heart. I have no doubt in my mind that you're well intentioned, but the way things have been going lately, this isn't a good idea. Is it worth risking your life to know a man that will just as soon betray you than lend you a hand when you need it?"

"I know what I'm doing Calleigh," he insists. "I've thought about this, okay?"

She feels her chest tightening, the anxiety creeping in the form of a flush on her neck and in her cheeks, and she has to step back from him and take a deep breath. As much as he has the power to make her love, he also has the power to make her angry unlike anything before. Right now, she feels the swirling ache of betrayal and confusion because he's just simply not being fair. She's been riding on his words to her from the start of their relationship, words that she has held close to her heart; that from that point on, they'd do things together. He'd promised her that they would talk about everything, that she could trust him and that she wouldn't have to be alone anymore. He'd be right there along with her.

She feels that connection getting weaker the more they argue about this.

Calleigh doesn't want her worst fears to rear their ugly heads again because she fell. She fell hard for Eric and she closed her eyes and took a leap of faith and she hasn't looked back since. That was all she could do was just take his hand and just go; no more second guessing herself, no more wondering, no more questions and no more letting her past relationships get in the way of what could very possibly be her future. She loves him. She loves that there isn't a moment now where she feels like she has to go off on her own, well, there hasn't been a moment until now.

This is love right here.

Being in love is more than just niceties, romance, sweetness, making love...though a large part of their fledgling relationship is just that. But reality has to come into play. Feelings of love have to be put into action, right here, right now, this is love, both of them willing to fight for one another, with one another stubbornly and still love each other enough to be able to let it play out and still want them when it's over.

"I've thought about this carefully," he says.

"What about me?" She asks, feeling a little selfish, but with good reason she feels. "Did you think about me and how I'd feel about this?"

"I did," he says. "I don't want to involve you in this because I couldn't live with myself if I let something happen to you, Calleigh."

"And what makes you think I could live with myself if something happened to you?" She fires back angrily. "What makes you think that I could handle losing you? You said that it's you and me now. Us. Together. You can't just shut me out, especially not now. Fine, you want to deal with your father, but I don't want you to do it alone."

He gently puts his hands on her arms.

"You dont understand, Calleigh," he says firmly. "This is something that I have to do alone. I can't have you in the middle for a lot of reasons, but the most obvious is that I don't want you to get hurt. I love you too much."

She hugs him then, in the dim hallway of the morgue, knowing that she won't change his mind.

He wraps his strong arms around her and holds her tightly, kissing her silky hair. She looks up at him and he kisses her, not caring who might see them. She rests her forehead against his.

Yes, it'd been one of those days.

But tonight they will make every touch, every kiss, every caress last because they don't know how it ends, they just know how it began and that's all they have to go on for now.