I really don't know where this one-shot came from.
Warning -Sasuke/Naruto and Deidara/Itachi yaoi down below. If you don't like yaoi, please click the arrow in the top left corner of the screen. Thank you.
Disclaimer- Please. If I owned Naruto, Deidara and Naruto would be brothers and would be having insane and twisted boy smex with the Uchiha brothers. Inuyasha is owned by Rumiko Takahashi. If I owned that…
I do own The Official Alliance of the 5 Great Hidden Shinobi Yaoi Fangirl Organizations (TOATFGHSYFO) © Take that copyright infringement lawyers!
Sasuke sighed a contented sigh. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and his usually loud and annoying boyfriend was lying quietly across his person. One could go so far as to say that Sasuke was at ease with the world today.
Nothing could ruin this day.
"Sasuke-teme, I'm bored."
Well, almost nothing.
"We need something to do." Sasuke cracked open an eye at the blonde mass occupying his torso.
"Then find something to do dobe."
The blonde mass flipped itself over and stared at Sasuke thru sparkling blue orbs. Sasuke narrowed his open eye, then closed it in irritation. The blonde lifted his right arm and laid it across Sasuke's face. The raven opened an eye once more and glared at the blonde.
"What the hell are you doing Naruto?" Naruto cheesed a toothy grin.
"Getting your attention, teme."
"There are other ways of getting my attention, you know."
Naruto suddenly shot up from his spot on Sasuke and turned his back to him. The Uchiha was confused by this, but the confusion dissolved as Naruto turned to face him.
"I know what we can do!" Sasuke closes his open eye.
"Come on Sasuke-teme, you've got to help me out! Just listen to me!"
"I am listening." The Uzumaki sat down cross-legged and glared at Sasuke's still form.
"I'm getting sick and tired of you undermining me. Don't make me call The Official Alliance of the 5 Great Hidden Shinobi Yaoi Fangirl Organizations down here!"
Sasuke flew to attention. Naruto did not just say that he was going to call the TOATFGHSYFO down here. Last time, Sasuke barely escaped with his underwear intact. He couldn't let this happen again!
The Uzumaki smiled his foxy grin as Sasuke scooted closer to him. Naruto didn't know why Sasuke didn't want to go through with this plan. It was foolproof!
"What's your idea dobe?"
Naruto could barely contain his excitement as he whispered in Sasuke's ear. Inch by inch, an evil smirk crept up onto Sasuke's face.
Today was going to be a fun day after all.
"Kagome."
"Inuyasha……just tell me one thing." The girl asks, rising off the edge of the well.
"Yeah…?"
"Can I stay at your side?"
"You want to stay…?"
"Yes." Kagome answers, taking a few steps so that she can be at Inuyasha's side. She gently grabs his clawed fingers and looks up at him, eyes warm and happy.
"Let's go Inuyasha."
"Yeah."
Itachi stared at the page in disgust. He gently closed the book and slammed it on the round, wooden table that was in front of him. The young ANBU then glared at the book, his Sharingan activating in the process.
"What's the matter now Itachi-kun, un?"
Itachi looked up at the owner of the lap his head was currently occupying. A bright azure eye stared back at him, while the other was covered in a fringe of blonde hair.
"You're giving me that look again. Let me guess; it was that Inuyasha manga again, wasn't it?"
The Uchiha gave a quick 'hn' and turned his attention elsewhere. The blonde sighed and reached over the raven in his lap to retrieve the book.
"If you don't like it so much, why read it, un? The canon obviously isn't going to change just because of what you think Itachi-kun."
The weasel closed his eyes and brought a hand to his forehead. He rubbed his temples gingerly as he tried to calm himself.
"Damn manga." Deidara heaved a heavy sigh and began thumbing thru the book.
"Just go to sleep Itachi, un."
"Blondie."
Deidara stopped his thumbing and glanced up to see Sasuke standing idly by his side of the couch, snacking on a tomato. The two locked eyes and a heated glare was shared. That is, until Sasuke squirted tomato juice in his right eye.
"What's wrong Uke?"
The Uchiha finished cleaning his eye and shot his infamous cold glare at the blonde in the room. Deidara just shrugged and went back to the manga in his hands.
"Where's my brother, un?" Sasuke inspected his tomato and when he deemed it safe, he began to lick it.
"He's upstairs in my room on my bed asleep. Messing up my sheets. The usual."
"Sasuke, what are you doing in here?" Itachi asked as he awoke from his mid-afternoon nap.
Sasuke gave his brother a side glance, then went back to work on his fruit-vegetable. He pulled off the leafy green epicenter at the top of the fruit-vegetable, then began to lick that part as well.
"Last time I checked, I lived here freely, just as you do." Itachi sat up slowly.
"Last time I checked, little brothers never gave their older brothers smart remarks."
"Last time I checked, Uchiha brothers never fought in front of their guests no matter the subject, un."
Both of the aforementioned brothers dropped their eyes onto the blonde teenager in the room. Said blonde teenager was sitting on the couch, leafing thru an Inuyasha manga, fighting back laughs that were determined to make themselves known. Sasuke gave a 'hn' while Itachi laid back down in Deidara's lap and resumed his quiet slumber.
A few minutes later, Sasuke had left the room, leaving Deidara and Itachi to snooze on the couch. Mikito was on her daily chores run, walking thru the house and picking up any dirty clothes that were out of place. When she saw the two ANBU captains on the couch in Dreamland, she decided that they needed a thin sheet to keep them warm.
A little while later Mikito found herself in the kitchen washing dishes, humming happy little melodies. She was just about to rinse the cake-pan when a knock was rapped upon her entrance door. She placed the cake-pan in the sink and dried her hands off on her apron as she walked to the door.
"Itachi."
No response.
"Itachi, wake up."
The addressed muttered something incoherent, and rolled over.
"Itachi, get up. I know you hear me."
The weasel down below groaned and rolled onto his left side, where he was face to face with an…..ahem….certain part of Deidara. (1)
Oh la la.
"Ok then, fine. I'll do this the hard way."
Deidara removed the arm from around his waist and jerked his knees up. Itachi, being caught off guard and whatnot, ended up on the floor, entangled in his sheet and cursing Minato and Kushina for creating blonde and blue-eyed devil spawn.
"Don't glare at me like that. Your mom told me to wake you up because you have a visitor, un."
The raven on the floor grunted and with flawless Uchiha effort, detangled himself from his sheet of death. He glared at Deidara, then stomped into the main hall where his mother was waiting for him. Deidara snickered and plucked the newest issue of Soaps: A Ninja's Digest © off of the coffee table.
The main hall was light with the warming rays of the afternoon sun. Itachi looked around for his mother and he found her when he made it to the front door. Mikito caught the sight of her oldest baby and a warming smile graced her features.
"One of your fellow ANBU captains is waiting outside. She says that she has something urgent to tell you."
Itachi gave his mother a sideways glance because for some reason she giggled at the end of that statement. That made Itachi uneasy.
"Thank you mother." And out of the door the weasel went. He shielded his eyes from the blinding sunrays that threatened his already weakened eyesight. As his eyes grew focused to their new medium, his ninja instincts kicked in and he swiftly dodged a kunai. When he regained his footing, his met with his attacker.
Her frame was strong, her stance even stronger. The ebony colored suit clung to her sturdy body as if it was going out of style. The rose hues in her armor accentuated her feminine gender, while the ruby tints reflected her physical strength and agility. Her brunette hair was skillfully tied into a tight ponytail and her chocolate eyes burned with determination.
She was a bad bitch.
Immediately Itachi knew who he was messing with and his ANBU instincts kicked into gear. He flew through a number of handsigns and launched a Katon no Jutsu at his attacker. The woman merely sidestepped the fireball and directed her own attack at the weasel.
A thick purple fog soon blanketed the area and Itachi quickly covered his nose. With his Sharingan activated, he scanned the miasma for the woman, but she was nowhere to be found.
With his senses in full gear, he ducked just before a immensely fast spinning object took off his head. He leapt out of the miasma just in time to see the woman hefting a boomerang onto her back.
Itachi read her movements, using a substitution jutsu to block the oncoming boomerang. He retaliated with some shadow shuriken but the woman deflected them with her katana. Itachi had to end this before it got too out of hand. And he knew just how to do it.
Once again the miasma poured onto the 'battlefield', blinding both opponents. The woman disappeared once again and this time Itachi was ready.
A well-aimed fist flew towards his face and a well-trained hand caught the hand in mid-swing. A chain shot out from who knows where and wrapped itself securely around one of Itachi's wrists. Before the weasel could escape, another chain coiled around his torso and other three limbs.
The Uchiha found himself on the ground, on his back, tied up like a hog on Easter Sunday. A weight settled itself onto his stomach and the weasel hissed up at his assailant. The miasma began to dissipate and Itachi got a good look at the woman.
POOF!
Itachi stared at this person. Who the hell was this blonde haired, blue-eyed boy? He wasn't Deidara, so why was he on top of him like this?
What if Deidara saw this?
A chorus of laughter rose from the people on Itachi's front porch. The weasel craned his neck to see Sasuke, Mikito, and Deidara laughing their asses off for some odd reason. Well, Deidara was dying of laughter, Mikito was giggling wildly and Sasuke was snickering.
At that moment in history, realization dawned on Itachi.
"My Weasel-chan just got owned by Sango from Inuyasha, un!"
"You just got punk'd, dattebayo!" Naruto yells, flashing his trademark grin. Itachi, however, was not amused.
"Naruto, get off of me."
The blonde did as he was told and got up, unraveling the chains in the process. Itachi stood up slowly, cracking all kinds of bones in the process. He lowered his head and began to emit waves of killing intent that couldn't even register on the Scale of Death. Naruto was about to get it.
"You have a 5 second head start. Run."
Poor Naruto didn't hear that warning, so he ended up being chased down by an enraged Uchiha. The three people at the door had finally calmed down and were getting ready to go back inside when Mikito stopped them.
"Itachi knows that you two were in on this plan and he's coming after you next."
(1)- For some reason, that sentence just sounds so dirty to me.
AN: My first SasuNaru. I feel complete now. Thanks for reading!