A.N. I actually hesitated before posting this for 2 reasons. 1 it's my reflection of S3 and the evolution of the brotherhood and many of you may not agree with it, I'm not sure if I even like this story and 2 because I have only seen the 49 minute versions on Smartflix and I know there are missing scenes which might make this an AU. Actually this is an AU as I'm changing the timeline. Treville gets to lecture Aramis the same day he comes back and Aramis is not involved in getting the queen away from the mob. Sorry guys I need Treville's lecture for the story…
I wrote this mainly because I read a post somewhere which stated that though there is a lot of Aramis hurt in S3, there is very little of the brotherhood around him offering comfort. I'm not talking about anything sappy, but when I recall the scene from E6 in S2 where Porthos and Athos express their concern jokingly or Athos and Porthos' hugs from E10 I found myself missing even the simplest of gestures. I mean did anyone else see the way in which Aramis sits so tiredly on his horse after their return to the garrison. And after that Athos walks away and Porthos goes to the table and pours himself a drink.
Be warned there is not a lot of comfort in this and the ending is a rather - well not abrupt - but an open and angsty one, but then again I did say this was my interpretation of the Inseparables' unity or lack of it.
As always I would like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you who have taken the time to read and/or review my fics. Thank you so much guys.
Disclaimer: The Musketeers do not belong to me and never will. I write this for fun, not profit.
After the long hard day he'd had, Athos, not surprisingly enough or unusually enough, found himself craving a bottle of wine in an effort to drown out the cares of the day.
Rage still coursed through him, red hot as he replayed the events of the day. He remembered the public square, the platform, the post and above all else, the ravaged and flayed back of Sylvie Boudain. Sylvie whose only crime was wanting a better life for her fellow man. And the same fellow man had been the one hurling abuses at her.
"Animals", Athos had found himself shouting earlier not knowing whether it was the mob or the Red Guards he had been screaming at.
"Where does it all end when they come for the ones you love?" Constance's words echoed through his mind.
'When did all of this stop?' he wondered. When would he ever have any peace in his life?
'You know there can be no peace for either of us till we're both dead'. Unbidden the words of his wife flashed through his mind.
"Athos", Constance's soft voice cut through his morose thoughts.
"Constance", he acknowledged his voice sounding tired even to his own years, prompting a worried frown from the woman in front of him.
"Are you…" she began then stopped abruptly, realising how stupid the question actually sounded. None of them were all right she thought her own tiredness echoed in her sigh.
A comforting hand landed on her shoulder causing her to look up into the concerned eyes of the Musketeer captain. Her captain, she thought with pride.
"I'm all right", she told him with an attempt at her usual smile, a failed attempt she realised a moment later as the concern in Athos' eyes only deepened.
Athos in an act which was atypical simply pulled Constance into a comforting hug. Surprise was Constance's first instinct followed by gratitude even as she acknowledged how much she needed this and simply buried her face in his chest.
After a moment she stepped back thanking him softly.
Athos only smiled. "You're family", was all he said.
"Go", Constance replied seemingly a non-sequitur and at Athos' raised eyebrow she elaborated with a chuckle.
"Go. I'll stay with her for a bit", she repeated drawing another soft smile from him.
"Constance I…" he began only to be interrupted by her
"Like you said, we're family"
"D'Artagnan…" he found himself objecting.
"D'Artagnan is asleep. He won't miss me, I promise". Athos found himself giving up with a huff and stepped out onto the balcony.
It was only as he sat at the table in the courtyard, that he realised how much he had needed a quiet moment to put the day's events into perspective. Even as he looked around the garrison he felt amazed at how easily Constance had seen through this need, and taken it upon herself to make sure he could step back for a bit. Something only his brothers or Treville would have been able to do in the past as everyone else would only see the mask Athos presented to the world. Athos knew that the entire garrison but especially he and his brothers were lucky to have this young woman in their lives.
As his thoughts wandered back to his brothers, Athos found the frown and the heavy weight in his heart from earlier returning. With a pang of sorrow he recalled the past times they had all spent in the same courtyard, together. It had been the Inseparables against the world and even when their lives had never been simple, even when they had to face the intrigues of the court, the machinations of the Cardinal or the quarrels caused by his drinking, Aramis' womanising, Porthos' cheating and D'Artagnan's hot headedness they had done so in a united manner. 'And now look at us', he thought knowing that the brotherhood of the past, the brotherhood that had been his life had disintegrated, maybe beyond hope.
Athos knew that it would be so easy to blame the dissolution of their friendship on the actions of one man, all too simple to lay the charge of their division at Aramis' door. Aramis, who by his reckless act of loving someone beyond his reach had essentially destroyed their way of life, had torn himself from them, putting an end to the Inseparables. But then again Athos knew it would be all too simple to blame himself, Treville or even the queen.
Athos who through his own weakness had allowed his wife to live, placing the queen's life in danger in the first place, the queen for sleeping with Aramis and Treville for not accepting the King's offer of a place on the council the first time following the death of the Cardinal, thereby providing Rochefort with the opportunity to wriggle his way to the monarch's side and expose Aramis and the queen's treasonous liaison.
And then there was the fact that he was the captain now rather then simply being one of the men. His new – and now not so new – status of leadership seemed to have raised a wall between himself and the rest of them. Porthos and D'Artagnan had seemingly become closer than ever while he himself was drifting away from them.
The sound of footsteps from behind mercifully stopped Athos from continuing this depressing train of thought. Turning, he found Porthos walking towards him, looking just as tired as he felt.
"Aramis" was all he said and at Athos' questioning look continued. "He's still not back yet", he grumbled softly. "He was summoned to the palace and left before taking care of his injuries".
Athos realised with a jolt that he had completely forgotten about the punishment Aramis had suffered at the hands of Grimaud and his henchmen. The way the marksman had been riding earlier definitely suggested bruised ribs, his hands had been chained and he had received a blow to the head. Plus Grimaud firing a pistol so close to his ears wouldn't have done him any favours Athos thought worriedly knowing that the marksman would have been lucky to get away with a mild concussion.
"We should check the palace…" he began interrupted by Porthos shaking his head. "I already did", he confirmed intensifying Athos' worry. "He left minister Treville's office hours ago"
Hours ago! The words echoed through his mind and Athos' worry reached new proportions. Grimaud was still out there after all, still plotting.
"Then where in God's name is he?" he bit out.
"I don't know", Porthos responded ignoring his moodiness with ease.
Just for a second Athos considered the fact that Porthos might not have really gone looking for the marksman, but a moment later he disregarded this traitorous thought. No matter how angry Porthos was he would never have left anyone he cared about alone and injured. Not if he could help it. As he looked up guiltily he felt Porthos' calm eyes studying him. If the other man knew anything of his thoughts though he mercifully ignored them and asked about how Sylvie was faring instead.
"I was politely asked to leave for a while", Athos told him a smile curling the edge of his lips.
Porthos' own answering smile was bright, but whatever he was going to say or ask was swept aside by the sudden sound of horses' hooves as their missing fourth rode into the garrison. The light from the entryway spilled onto the marksman's face and Athos found himself wincing in sympathy at their friend's ragged appearance. There was no other polite way to put this. Aramis looked terrible.
Porthos was the first to reach the marksman as Athos suddenly found himself rooted to the table. For on brief moment he found that he was unsure of the welcome he would receive from their brother. Would Aramis even want him at his side considering the fact that he had simply walked away earlier without even bothering to check on his welfare.
"Aramis", he heard Porthos' voice call out softly in an effort to not startle the suddenly still man and Athos found himself moving forward. Reaching the still seated man, he grabbed hold of the animal's reins before offering his assistance. "Will you need help getting off the horse"
The sound of his voice prompted a shift in Aramis' focus from his own hands to Athos' face and just like he had back at the abandoned fort he seemed to be trying to look into Athos' soul.
A moment later he simply shook his head and winced at the sudden spike in pain. Athos heard Porthos grumble something under his breath before the bigger man simply manhandled Aramis to the ground.
"I could have done that myself Porthos", Aramis' voice definitely held a note of complaint, prompting a quiet chuckle from the leader of the Inseparables
"If we'd have waited for you to do that we'd have been here the entire night", Porthos retorted unfazed by Aramis' annoyance. He then proceeded to drag Aramis to his rooms.
Athos simply stepped back and let Porthos do as he saw fit. At the "Are you coming", that Porthos threw over his shoulder, he found himself shaking his head. "You seem to have things well in hand", was all he said even as Aramis turned towards him wide-eyed. "Save me", he called out plaintively as Porthos continued to seemingly pull him forward. For the first time in a long time Athos enjoyed his brother's foolish antics. How much had he missed this he thought, his heart feeling lighter all of a sudden despite the trials of the day.
"Athos", Aramis' voice definitely held a whine to it and Athos chuckled. "Fine", he called out following his brothers home.
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Athos was not naïve enough or foolish enough to believe that one light-hearted moment in the courtyard would be enough to heal all of their hurts or magically restore their brotherhood to as it were before. What he hadn't expected was for that one moment of warmth to evaporate as quickly as this.
Upon stepping inside his rooms Aramis had simply pulled himself free of Porthos' grasp confirming Athos' earlier thoughts that the bigger man hadn't been as rough with his brother as had appeared. Aramis had then proceeded to simply walk towards his bed seemingly exhausted, but instead of dropping into it had just stood at the foot of it. His thoughts once more seemed to be a million miles away. Porthos had grumbled some more and had tried to get the former monk to sit down. Aramis however had pulled himself away.
"What are you two still doing awake?" he had asked instead tone flat.
Athos almost gritted his teeth at the flash of pain on Porthos' face at that deceptively innocent question and found himself wishing for a bottle of wine.
Ignoring the siren call of oblivion, he took charge. "Porthos, why don't you find us some bandages and some hot water", he instructed. "Oh, and a bottle of wine as well. Brujon should have some left from earlier".
Porthos simply nodded and walked back out the door.
Athos found himself tracking the big man till he disappeared, before turning back towards the marksman who seemed to be doing his own staring at the door.
"Why don't you sit down before you fall over Aramis", he stated softly assisting his brother to a seated position on the bed. Aramis' hair fell like a curtain over his face and Athos brushed it back softly trying to catch the marksman's eyes. This unusual quiet from the normally garrulous man worried him.
"I'm fine", was all Aramis stated covering his face with his hands. His shaking hands thought Athos with a frown.
Waiting for Porthos to come back with the supplies, Athos lowered himself onto the bed beside the marksman, casting around for a safe topic to break this uncomfortable silence. It was Aramis though who spoke first.
"If you're looking for the right words to deliver a lecture, I should tell you I've had enough"
"Treville", Athos almost sounded amused.
Aramis continued peeved. "I swear Athos, he still has the power to make me feel like a foolish young recruit"
"That's because you are foolish", Athos continued the amusement in his voice clear now and Aramis found himself smiling as well.
"You were foolish", he added softly and just like Aramis knew that the light-hearted moment was over; and felt its loss keenly
"I know I shouldn't have…" Aramis began, only to trail off. "Actually, you know what, I don't feel guilty for agreeing to contact the Spanish on behalf of the queen", he stated simply.
Athos' face seemed to tighten at that.
"Aramis…" he was interrupted by a raised hand from the marksman.
"I can't regret that Athos. I'm a Musketeer and I chose to serve my country at the behest of my queen", he stated firmly.
Athos only sighed in response and turned away before his head snapped back at the softly spoken, "I do regret not telling you though".
"Why?" Porthos' simple question startled them both.
"I told you Porthos. I just wanted peace…" began Aramis trying to deflect, but Porthos was having none of it.
"You know exactly what I'm asking Aramis. Why didn't you tell us about your contact with the Spanish?" Porthos' question was specific leaving Aramis no choice.
Aramis seemed to look too tired for any arguments or deflections. "I was ordered not to", he stated monotonously.
"You hate following orders", Athos stated ignoring the small voice at the back of the head berating him for pushing the already injured man. They needed answers if they were to move past this. Well Porthos did, he told himself knowing that he was lying to himself. Aramis' omission had hurt him as well.
Aramis though remained silent not meeting either of their eyes. At least not until he found that Porthos had simply dropped the supplies he had been carrying onto the table and walked out the door.
"Porthos", Aramis called out sounding heart-broken but the big man did not stop.
Athos found his own heart breaking as well.