So basically this is the end of new moon: from Rosalie's phone, call through Italy, till the very end. All from Edward's point of view. The prologue is before Edward think's she's dead. I'm starting a little before that fateful phone call to set the tone of edward's emotions, which are a little different than normal. warning, he's pretty bi-polar in this story, but in a good way. The next chapter ch 1 starts with his reaction to the news of bella's death and his decision to go to Italy.

Enjoy!

Disclamer:I don't own twilight...nuf said.

I was somewhere deep in an unknown forest, my back pressed against an enormous fir tree, still moist with dew. I deserved to be here, in the wilderness like the monster I am. The light filtering in through the tree tops barely missed my translucent skin. The forest was quiet; the only sound was a faded song from the flock of birds flying overhead. I was too far away from any civilization to have mindless human banter interrupt my meditation. This was how I preferred it anyway, someplace quiet and remote. Where I could sit and bask in her memory. The thought of her pale skin, her chocolate eyes, the intoxicating aroma that followed her. Her memory alone was enough to push my self control farther than ever, and make me tremor in horror at what I'd done. Horror at my stupidity and selfishness.

I am a vile being. Much more vile than Mike Newton could even think of being.

The vibration in my pocket broke me from my revere. My eyes flickered to the screen. Alice. She had been calling twice every hour for the past three days. So far I'd ignored her, but in my moment of weakness I answered. Hoping she would show me a new vision of Bella. Anything to get one more glimpse at her face.

I flipped open the phone holding it to my ear.

"Edward," Alice gasped before I had a chance to say anything. Her voice was barely audible even to me. She was clearly distraught.

"Edward what have you done." Her tone frightened me. "I've never seen anything like this before. She didn't get out of bed for a week, just laid there weeping." I heard Alice take a shaky breath.

"Even now she hardly moves. She hasn't spoken but a few words in weeks. Bella just moves around like a hollow shell. I'm scared, Edward. Please go back, I know you're not taking care of your self any better than she is. Please…I think Edward…I think your absence is killing her."

"She'll get over it."

"I apologize for showing you this." A new picture filtered through my brain, one of my sweet angel. But she didn't look right. She looked more frail and sickly than when I last saw her. A flash image of her lying on a bed, empty, hollow eyes staring blankly at me. Another flash; she was kneeled over on the ground convulsing with sobs. What scared most was her eyes; they looked soulless, red around the edges, lifeless, with dark circles underneath taking away from the beauty of her irises.

"Edward!" I heard Alice cry as I slammed the phone shut. A tremor of rage ripped through me. I stood and turned my head to the sky, emitting a loud, ghastly cry. The trees shook and birds took flight rapidly. I roared and ripped up all the surrounding vegetation. When all the living plants in my surrounding area were shredded at my feet I turned and ran. I didn't know where I was going, but I kept running as fast as my inhuman body would move. I ran away from my family, away from my angel, and away from the darkest sin I had ever committed.

I opened my eyes; I could feel the vibrations of the phone across the moist ground. I wasn't positive of my new location, still in a forest. I could hear human thoughts much more clearly now, so I must be closer to a big city. I groped for the phone, searching for the source of the vibrations. My fingers found the smooth shivering object and I looked at the screen. Carlisle's number flashed on the front. I sighed, I couldn't ignore Carlisle.

"Hello."

"Edward," Carlisle's voice was stern, yet gentle. "I know you're hurting, Edward, I understand that. But what you did yesterday was careless and immature. The meteorologist can't understand how "A freak earth quake" destroyed 5 acres of woodland without detection. 5 acres, Edward. How you managed to tear 5 acres of trees in a matter of minutes is incredible. You're smarter than that Edward." I sighed blinking up at the dark star-lit sky, speckled with a few flickering stars.

"I know Carlisle, I apologize. I shouldn't allow myself to become so out of control." I heard a deep noise come from the other side of the connection. I knew I wasn't going to like what he was about to say.

"Edward…" he strained for words. "As much as I respect your decision to leave, I'm going to have to ask you to come home. You have had other careless incidents in the past months that cannot continue. This is hurting our whole family, especially Esme. She's grieving for you, and for Bella." I flinched when he said her name. The horrible new picture of her was still freshly embedded in my memory. I felt my temperature rise, I was livid with fury; my breathing came hard and fast.

"I'm afraid I cannot do that Carlisle. I'm sorry." I closed the phone and hurled it across the tress. My breathing slowed, stop being immature. Sighing, I sprinted off, catching the phone before it hit the ground.

I took my time walking back, going at what I called a "Bella pace." I closed my eyes, her soft pale face floated into the darkness of my head. I continued walking back, mulling over my only love's perfect body.

I'm never going to see her again. A hot pain seared through my torso.

She'll get over this, she'll live a long happy life, get married and have a family.

The pain in my chest, at the thought of her with another man intensified. I doubled over, unable to bear the pain ricocheting down my body. I was becoming weak without her. I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away forever. Even if it meant visiting her while she slept. So she never knew I came. I wouldn't last a human lifetime much less eternity without her.

I was aware of what I would have to do once she left this earth. It pained me to think about the agony it would cause my family, leaving them because I couldn't live without a simple girl, but my girl. I can only hope they understand by then. A slow groan escaped my lips. I pinched the bridge of my nose with one hand and tore at my hair with the other.

Why is this so damn frustrating? I knew the answer. As much as it ashamed me to face the truth, I knew, had known since the beginning. I could never live without her. I closed my eyes and again her face appeared behind my lids.

I ripped my bag off the ground tearing off towards the foreign murmuring in the back of my mind. I couldn't stay here, alone with my memories. I had to go somewhere, closer to civilization. Hoping the thoughts of mindless humans, and the lust for blood would give me something to do besides think of her. Even though that was the only thing I wanted to do. I knew if all I did was sit in misery, I would succumb to my desires much too quickly. I had never been a weak man, but now, without her I felt irresolute, and more vulnerable than ever.

There it is, please please review! I'm pretty much finished with chapter 1, but i want a little bit of feedback before I continue. Just to make sure it's not crap. Rant, rave, flame, whatever. Review please!

Ashley