Prologues
Gotta love'm !
In the sultry dark room where the boy had gone to die, Kelsey typed, her clumsy fingers trembling as they hit the cold, smooth keys with a violence her brand new laptop had done nothing to deserve.
Why am I being like this ? she wondered. Why am I hurting Ren's beautful present ?
One he'd picked just right, one she never even had to ask for, one he'd every right to check every night to make sure there was nothing dangerous or inappropriate in her browsing history–
Her jaw clenched and she almost disloged the erase button.
She could hear him, walking in circles, right behind the door.
"Raajkumaari, are you sure you don't need anything ?"
She bit her lips. For the life of her, she couldn't find anything to answer.
She heard him grab the doorknob and twist it in every possible way, to no avail.
"Is it so difficult to answer me ?" he said in his most dangerous tone.
It wasn't really angry, just a bit more passive-agressive than usual, a little less studied. He was about to do something about it. He was about to lose control. And she wouldn't be able to stop him, she wouldn't have a say in the matter, because it would be all her fault.
"No probs ! I just need to lie down a sec."
"You're lying, just not down. I can hear you typing on the portable computer. Please tell me what this is all about. Why are you locking yourself in this way ? Am I so repulsive, so inadequate that you cannot stand to have me at your side ?"
The all-too-familiar stab of guilt was followed by a wonderful thing – excitement, for the first time in months. She knew he'd given her the perfect excuse.
"It's not you, it's me... I just can't get out. I'm having... girl problems."
Can anyone be so lame ? He's never going to buy it.
"Oh, really ?" She could hear his eyes narrow in suspicion "Then how come my tiger senses did not detect anything ? The moon is not even on the thirteenth night, when your cycle was due..."
She gladly let him broadcast all his menstrual knowledge. No one could hear – or at least, no one that mattered. And who would have done something about it ?
Mr Kadam, in his study, who was either having a nap or watching re-airs of Agatha Christie's Marple ? Nilima, who didn't give a fuck as long as she could have her beauty sleep and be numb inside ? Or the gardener, that repulsive old goat with his rabbit teeth and his twisted, wet smile ?
No, they'd fired that one. At least that's what Kadam had told her. Always stumbling upon things he wasn't meant to see.
Just like you.
As she pressed the send button, she knew she was doing the right thing. Or that it would have been the right thing, had she been doing it for the right reasons. But it was as ungrateful and selfish as all the things she'd been doing lately. She just wanted things the way they were before she'd met him, Kadam, and the tigers. She wanted to feel like herself again. Even if she had to get punished, even if everything had to end here.
At least, she would have peace.