My breath caught in my throat and my heart gave a painful lurch as I studied the intricately carved miniature wagon in my hand. Unwanted memories swirled in my head of the wooden treasures Evan used to carve for me as gifts. He was a talented carpenter who could make pretty much anything out of wood, but trinkets, toys, and the like were his specialty.
Holding the wagon in my hand made me think of the one that Evan had created for our baby, and tears of sorrow were standing in my eyes before I could stop them. I excused myself from the table and went outside.
I struggled to get myself under control before one of the boys or Lou came out to check on me. The past was the past and there was no sense dwelling on it.
I was still working on my emotions, when I heard the bunkhouse door open behind me. I knew without even looking that it was Jimmy.
"You alright Emma?" Jimmy asked me softly.
"Just needed some fresh air is all." I tell him, hearing the rawness in my voice, and knew Jimmy would hear it too.
"That story of Cody's seem to bother you so?"
"It reminded me of someone I used to know." I told him.
"That doesn't sound like a happy memory."
"It's alright." I handed Jimmy the carved wagon. "It'll pass."
"Okay."
Jimmy gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze before he went back inside, leaving me alone with my troubled thoughts.
I fought against the desire to give into my feelings and have a good cry. Evan had gotten buckets from me already, and I wasn't about to shed anymore on him. I shoved those unwanted memories back into the corner of my mind they had crept out of, and wiped the tears from my eyes and face with the hem of my apron. When I felt back in control of my emotions, I rejoined my PX family inside.