Hello everybody, and welcome to: "We deserve a pay"

Hello everybody, and welcome to: "We deserve a pay". In this fan fiction, we are going to explore an important issue for players: "How come Eidolons don't get a salary for their intense physical activity?"… Well, it is not an important issue, I must admit it, but if anyone has a better idea, please stand up (Every FF9 player stands up). Never mind.

In the writing of this Pulitzer (all people who have the Pulitzer load shotguns) fan fiction, I are going to be helped by a female censor, by the name of Lilith… it is sort of a bad name, but it needed to start with L for a number of reasons. If anyone has a better name, it can stand up (every name expert stands up). Omg. Well, her job is to make sure there is no swearwords and such, thus making pay themes the only cause of a T… why did I get stuck with that slu… You know I can read your mind, right? With that slug on my sole. Better.

Oh, and just if you were wondering why all the font changes:

Normal type means normal talking and speech

Italics means we are using our mind reading tech which we really shouldn't have

Bold means it's me going on with uninteresting matters

Underline means it is my s… What are you going to say? Why does she always stop me? That is my job, and proceed with the explanation my SUPER female censor, namely Lilith Why, thanks. You can only talk in case of potential swearing, so shut your tramp up. Ok, Mr. Rudeness. And I know you didn't mean it anyways. You meant a swear word.

Now eat a cookie if you haven't skipped this nonsense, and let us start to this fan fiction. Just before we start, I just have to say this plotline's so good that if someone changed it into a film… yes, like if anyone's going to bother with this nonsense… it would win an Oscar for best film (The academy loads shotguns).

Disclaimer: I DO own Final Fantasy (Squaresoft/ Squarenix loads shotguns). Perhaps I should quit lying… Nah.

Sponsor: /refer/lisalo (Ok, they don't pay me a damn (it is a type of coin), but I get account points... You are introducing a link for account points? Sucks to be you. You are censoring me for no pay? Sucks to be you. Well, at least I get to wind you up. Ajj. Can't you even talk in proper sentences? You don't deserve to be a writer. And you don't deserve to be my censor, because you do a s... Do I have to remember you the reason I am stuck with the horrible writer you are? because you do a sullen job, and because... Time to meve on, isn't it? But I haven't finished Do you really think I care? Move on. Ajj Next time, pay attention, please. Don't worry. I won't do anyways. Ajj. Next time, follow your own advice. And since our readers are starting to dislike this situation (any reader there might be loads shotguns) we'd better move on.

Chapter 1: Pissing off

You know that for me that is another swearword, right? I have not said it in that sense, just wait and read. Oh, I'm sorry. Never mind.

Sitting down near a peaceful stream, Garnet couldn't but forget the destruction of Alexandria, Garnet couldn't but forget that the co… That's not exactly a swear word, but mind your language. Freak. See? As long as you are extremely careful with what you say, mostly being sure that it can be interpreted as something other than an insult, it is OK for me. Woot, I now know your weak spot. It's not my weak spot, and please carry on with the story. Ahem, she couldn't but forget about that extremely obese woman that pretended to be a mother, and she couldn't but forget… why are you so repetitive when it comes to describing what I am doing? Cuz he is a bad writer. Great, not only have I got everyone loading shotguns against me and a censor that is acting more like a conscience, but now I have also got the characters of my fanfic criticizing me. Now I am taking revenge. She couldn't but forget she had somebody with a tail stalking her. She couldn't but forget she had not had decent cleaning in some time… Decent cleaning? my, my, what a spoilt princess. She is, now if you please let me carry on… She could not but relax, in that calm stream with flowing water and green…

"Dagger! Have you finished with that dump?" Said a voice in the distance, one which denoted that whoever spoke it was a… well, not to attract the censor's wrath… See? There's ways around me? Shut up… As I was saying, the voice denoted that whoever talked it had an excessive liking for woman.

"Uh oh!" A comment stated by a young female voice. Actually, a comment denoted by A VERY young female voice, to be precise. "Let's get away from here"

"But I need to protect the Princess, and even more so with that tailed scoundrel around." Cried the voice of a crying… what?… the voice of a crying mor… Please don't force me to.… the voice of a crying mortal… happy now? Actually, yes, I am. Good, now let me continue.

"Believe me" commented a voice with a clear preference for old grammar "right now, it's Zidane who needs protection, and we need to get away"

"You get away" said a scornful and indifferent… someone could learn from this. Oh, shut up, will you? Ok… voice "I'm not missing this"

And so they did, and so he didn't… if you don't know just WHO I am talking about, shoot yourself.

"Just who do you think you are?" Screamed Dagger… you say just who you are talking about, for a change. Oh, shut up, will you? Don't imitate me… "There are two things which you just can't do to a woman! One is interrupt her in the bathroom! And another is saying to her the word "dump"! And you have done BOTH!"

"Calm down, querida." Zidane said, both with fear and with humor, to Dagger "After all, it is not like if I had killed you"

"I would have preferred that! … My, some spoilt princess is overreacting… Now you are going to pay! ATOMOS!"

"Ow, yeouch, owowowowow, why did it have to be a full animation? It hurts more!"… Poor guy.

Well, nice intro, isn't it. Please Read and Review, NOT Review and Read… Oh, and another thing. Please tell how many neurons you have lost. Shut up, you trans… My, I am sure busy with you. Transfer student. I love doing this. Till next chapter!