A/N: My thoughts on S10 E2. Do you think it's good enough to warrant another chapter? Leave me a review. NC
Sam's POV
Sam stared down at the object in his hand channeling his hate and contempt at the blade. He turned it over in his hand feeling the smoothness and roughness at the same time as his emotions fought each other wondering if he had made the right choice. At least he had his brother back.
"Pleasure doin' business with you." Crowley said holding out his hand.
"What're you going to do with it?" Sam asked biting his lip.
"Toss it in a volcano, leave it on the moon, I'll get creative. Believe me I don't want Dean getting his hands on the precious any more than you do." Crowley noted glancing in the back seat of the Impala at Dean. "Your brother knows I ratted and he tends to hold a grudge. I don't wanna get boned."
Sam gave him a b*tch face at the pun.
"This doesn't make us square. If I see you again..." Sam starts before Crowley interrupted.
"Stop it Samantha, no one likes a tease." he told him before disappearing.
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Sam drove into the night toward the bunker.
"This thing is filthy." he said pushing food wrappers off the dash.
"It's just a car Sam." Dean answered in a flat monotone voice.
"It's just a car, wow, you really have gone dark."
"You have no idea."
"You know what Dean, I saw what happened back there, you could of killed that guy and you didn't. You took mercy on him." Sam said hoping he would see some glimmer of his Dean in there.
Dean laughed to himself. "You call that mercy? Image spendin' your whole life huntin' down the guy who hacked your father. When you finally find him, he whips you like a dog. How do you think that feels? That kid's goin' to spend his whole life knowin' that he had his shot and that he couldn't beat me. That aint mercy, that's the worse thing I could have done to him." Dean spelled out to Sam. "And what I'm going to do to you Sammy, well that aint going to be mercy either." he smirked.
Sam swallowed hard as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he gripped the steering wheel tighter. That was not his brother talking, that was the mark, that damn mark that did this. Sam gritted his teeth as the tiniest thread of doubt began to weave its way into this thoughts. He was doing the right thing, he had to try, Dean would have done the same for him, he couldn't give up now. There was no turning back, he would see this through or die trying. He pressed on the gas pedal harder causing the car to jerk forward slightly as the power of the engine kicked in.
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Sam checked the chains and locks one more time before stepping back from Dean. He was sitting in the dungeon, in a devil's trap, in a chair, his feet chained to the floor and his hands handcuffed.
Dean looked down at his bonds in disgust.
"You really think you can keep me in here, trapped Sammy? When I get loose and believe me, I will get free, I am going to make you suffer, oh so slowly in ways you could never image." he warned Sam as he turned to leave.
Sam's step faltered for a moment as he felt a cold, bone chilling shiver run down his spine. He didn't bother to answer his brother as he closed the door behind him locking it. He leaned against the wall for a moment trying to gain the strength to make his legs support him and carry him out of there.
"Gonna hurt you bad Sammy!" Dean yelled through the door.
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Sam pushed himself off the wall and stumbled down the hall toward his bedroom. He hadn't had a shower in what three, four days and the thought of one was very appealing right now. Sam stripped off his jacket and grabbed sweats, tee, briefs and his bathroom bag before heading to the bathroom.
Hot steam began to fill the room as Sam stripped his clothes off and adjusted the temperature of the spray. He stepped into the hot water cringing as it hit his battered body. He stood there for a moment, hands splayed out on the tile wall before stepping back until his back was against the back wall. He slowly let the weight of his body slide down the wall until he was sitting with his arms around his legs and his head resting on his knees.
Water beat down on his head as a sob escaped his lips and tears mingled with the water running down his face. His shoulders shook as all the pent up anguish, hopelessness and grief bore down on him with such force he could barely breathe. His wails increased in volume and echoed in the enclosed space of the shower. The past events since Dean's death tumbled over and over in his mind like a film strip on a loop. So many emotions bombarded him and beat him down with such force he felt like a dump truck ran him over.
He felt weak, useless, and was beginning to have doubts about his decisions. Was he strong enough to help Dean, especially when it seem Dean didn't want help, that he seemed to like being a demon. It was so hard to wrap his mind around that, how his brother truly wanted to stay one of the things they hunted. Had they not had enough dealing with demons, from the one who bled in his mouth at six months old to the many others that had invaded their lives, killing their friends, trying to destroy them time and time again that he wouldn't want to try to be cured. No, he couldn't believe Dean was gone, there had to be some small spark of humanity left in there somewhere and Sam was going to do whatever it took to find it and bring his brother back.
Sam slowly stood up and picked up his shampoo to wash his hair before he lost all the hot water. Days of sweat and grim ran down the drain as he washed his body one-handed as quickly as he could before turning off the water. Sam grabbed a towel and ran it over his wet body stretching his sore muscles as he went, being careful of his injured shoulder. He wiped his hand across the mirror and eyed the purple and black bruises that were decorating his skin over his back and stomach. He turned to get a better look at his back and grimaced from the move. He had lost weight over the past few months causing his tall body to look even more lank.
Sam slipped on his clothes before heading to his bedroom to lay down. Sleep was the last thing on his mind, but his body was telling him different. He needed to at least get a few hours of sleep before he collapsed. He couldn't help his brother if he couldn't think straight. Sam stretched his body out on the bed and closed his eyes in exhaustion. The hot shower had at least taken some of the pain and ache out of his body allowing him to rest a little easier.
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Pictures of his brother flashed through Sam's mind as he twitched in his sleep. He had never seen such deep hatred and rage emitting from the body of his brother. It was getting harder to call him that now that he saw just how dark he had become. There were no feelings, no emotions, no caring that had once been his brother. Some how he had to make Dean see there was still some humanity left in him. He was worth saving. No matter how hard he tried to push him away and threaten him, he was not turning his back on his brother.
Sam grunted in his sleep as he moved his injured shoulder wrong. Little waves of pain wafted down his arm to his fingers making them spasm. He turned on his left side trying to get in a comfortable position so sleep could pull him under again.
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His head felt like it was full of cotton as Sam winced from the pain that shot through his temples. A headache was making itself known loud and clear as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He hated to admit it, but he seemed worse after trying to get some sleep. His eyes were swollen and red rimmed and he couldn't breath through his nose from the congestion in his sinuses.
Sitting up was not as good an idea as he thought when the room tilted and his stomach lurched sending acid into his throat. He fought back the bile swallowing hard, choking it back down. . He kept his head down for a few more minutes as things settled down enough for him to get up. He grabbed Kleenex from the nightstand and tried to clear his head enough to be able to breathe before deciding what to do.
After being sure his legs were going to support him, he made his way to the kitchen and pulled a cold bottle of water out of the fridge. He twisted off the cap and downed half the bottle before taking a breath. As the water hit his stomach it was all he could do to keep it down. After several deep breaths, his stomach settled and he was able to draw in a shallow breath. He knew he needed to eat something and gazed into the empty fridge. Tracking Dean down had kept him away from the bunker and the shelves were bare. He guessed the first thing he needed to do was stock up with supplies. He knew the days ahead were going to be hard ones and he needed to be prepared for the worse. Closing the door with a sigh, Sam looked around for the keys to the Impala. He had waited this long to find his brother, he could wait a little long before confronting him. Maybe this meaningless task would be good for him to calm his mind and prepare him for dealing with his brother.
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Sam speed dialed Cas as he looked at the fruit and vegetables in the produce section.
"Hello." Cas answered.
"Cas, Sam, look man, I wanted you to know I found Dean and I have him at the bunker."
"Sam you think that is wise? You don't know what your brother is capable of, it could be dangerous for you."
"I know, but I'm not giving up on him, he wouldn't give up on me." he said quietly.
"I'm on my way there."
"See ya Cas." Sam said hanging up and picking up some tomatoes and lettuce.
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When Sam decided he had enough food to last a few weeks, he headed for the checkout. Luckily the lines where short and he was able to get out quick.
Sam carried the bags to the kitchen and began to put away the food. He stopped when he picked up the small pie he had bought out of habit, not even realizing he was doing it. He sat it back down on the counter and stared at it for a long time, blinking back the tears, before finishing his task.
He started a pot of coffee wondering if Dean even needed to eat or drink anymore. He needed to have a plan on how to do this, Dean was smart when he was human, he knew he would be deadly as a demon. He couldn't let his guard down for a moment when he was around him he knew that.
Sam poured a cup of coffee and began to walk down the hall toward the dungeon. He unlocked the door and pushed it open looking into the face of his brother.
"Hello Dean." Sam said from the doorway.