Darkness. That's the first thing I see as I open my eyes. I can feel my eyes rapidly blinking, almost like the fluttering of a butterfly's wings, as my eyes try to adjust. At first, all I manage to see are unrecognizable shapes accompanied by a sea of darkness. It takes me a minute before the shapes around the room turn into outlines of figures that I would know anywhere. People.

Why were there people surrounding me? What's going on? Where am I?

At my own inner panic, I hear a strange beeping noise that is continually getting faster and faster, louder and louder, but the sound is so far away. My heart is beating so fast that it feels as if it's about to burst from my chest. I can vaguely hear noise... no, voices of people, but I can't understand what they're saying over the sound of my pounding heart in my ears. I can feel hands all over my body trying to hold me down. This only seems to make me struggle even more. When had I began to struggle? Beating increasingly faster by the second, my heart, I'd think it impossible to get any faster. I can just barely think, and there are only three words that stay on repeat in my mind.

I wake in bed gasping, desperately trying to fill my constricting lungs with air. I can feel arms wrap around me, and I am brought back to my nightmare. I fight to free myself and seeming only to make it worse as the pair of arms tighten around me; I hear what sounds like someone screaming only to find out it's my own voice. A light is turned on to the right of me, but I hardly notice. Stuck in my own subconscious, I can vaguely hear someone speaking soothing words in my ear, an attempt to calm me. Stiles . Repeated over and over as if begging , calling, for me. The scent of axe body wash fills my senses bringing me back to reality and the feeling of someone stroking my head. As I pull my head off of a shoulder, a face comes into my line of sight, successfully putting an end to my struggles. My mind becoming empty to accommodate for the person in front of me. Green. Eyes that seem to see into my soul. Eyes that seem to plead and search for something, a sign that I'm okay. These are the eyes of someone I could never hurt, never fear. Someone I would always love.

"Derek," I breathed. I could tell from the moment I say his name that I am no longer stuck in the nightmare. That I am his fiance. That I'm me. His eyes turn from panic to ones of comfort and concern.

"Another one," Derek says, voice filled with worry. He moves to gently caress my face with a loving look. A look you could never forget. A look that used to make me squirm but now accompanies with it a warm fuzzy feeling inside me.

"Yeah," I sigh. I bring my hand up towards my face, taking hold of his hand as he began to pull away. I intertwine our fingers and turn my head to place a soft kiss on his palm. "Let's go back to sleep".

We shuffle around in our bed, getting into a familiar position. As I lay in bed, back to chest, hand in hand, I try to sleep knowing that I have to get up early and head to the gallery to do the finishing touches before the grand opening. The room is silent except for the soft breaths that caress my neck. Sleeping doesn't come easy. My thoughts, filled with questions about my dream, prevent me from succumbing into my subconsciousness. Derek's arms tighten around me as if he knows exactly what I'm thinking about.

"Go to sleep, Stiles. You're safe. I'll be here when you wake up," he whispers. More words of comfort are said that are then accompanied by a kiss on my neck so soft as if it was barely there. "I love you".

"I love you too," I say. I am soon drifting into the dreamland that is now more welcome than before, but I can't help the thought that accompanies me to sleep. What if I could change everything? What if I could go back?

~Flashback~

I was on my feet, running toward Deaton's infirmary. Everything else faded away. I could see them all, the pack, lying spread around the room. In the center of the room was Derek. I watched as he coughed and gurgled on his own blood. Black seemed to consume his entire body with no visible source. I look to Deaton only to see my mirrored expression of panic.(As much as Deaton shows anyway) I made my way over to him. I reached for Derek's hand, but it was cold. This brings about a new wave of panic. I looked around the room, and all I saw was death. The room reeked of it. Deaton then, and only then, starts talking. The most I've ever heard him talk. Everyone was ambushed in the woods during a full moon. Apparently, Derek noticed something was off, but everyone just chalked it down to him being his-

" What is that forsaken term you bestowed upon Derek. Ah yes, Sourwolf." Somehow the Argents knew just where they'd be. They were cornered and picked off. Shot with lethal doses of wolfsbane, they didn't stand a chance. The Argents just left them for dead. Derek went back and forth until he was able to get all of the pack here.

"There was nothing I could do Stiles, they were already gone."

Derek, he wouldn't let anyone help him until he had everyone at the infirmary. By then, it was too late. The dose Derek inhaled is rare and out of reach. Now it's just a matter of time.

I listen as I grasp Derek's hand in mine and stroke his head with the other. Everyone's gone, and now I might have to lose Derek too. My vision gets blurred. That when I realize that I'm crying. Full body sobs raked throughout my body.

Then, Derek just stops. I look up at him to see my worst fear come true. Derek's not breathing. He's not breathing.

nononono. Distantly, I can here someone screaming.

I had to do something. I can't let it end like this. There's got to be something. Anything. I lay there hunched over Derek's cold lifeless body.

Derek? Derek, please. Come back to me. To us. We only just started and I can't lose you now. What about our promise. You said you'd never leave me like my mother did. Here I lay clutching the remains of what once was and what could've been. My arms are unrelenting in its hold over Derek. Over my humanity.

I could vaguely here the sounds of broken sobs echoing in the night, the sound of shattered hope. The sound was almost inhuman, feral. Realization hit me as I cried for the loss of Derek, for the broken promises and for our pack. None of this would have happened if I'd paid attention. I haven't been sleeping well. Nightmares welcome me as I sleep. Shadows follow me as I wake. Maybe, if I'd just told them instead of trying to do this on my own, they could've helped. Then I would have been more aware, focused. Deaton warned me, and I was too stupid to listen. You should tell them Stiles.

Why did it have to end like this?

I can't give up. Not after everything. You hear me Derek!

Frantically, I initiate an unskilled attempt to revive his heart. We did not suffer through this past year for you to die on me now. We were progressing Derek. Don't leave after we've just began.

Each thought is accompanied by my rhythmic pounding on his chest.

Please... No No No! Derek! Wake up Derek, just wake up!

Only he wouldn't, and I knew that. There was no waking up from this.

Let me in, Stiles. Let me in.

"What does that even mean! NO! You don't get to use this as a way to manipulate me. You're not real!" My voice fades into nothing in anticipation of an answer. Deaton staring in shock.

"Who are you talking to Mr. Stillinski." I ignore him.

Derek, I sob. It's my fault. I let this happen, now it's me who will drag you out of it. Even if I have to go to Hell to bring you back.

Let me in. Just let me in.

I glance around as the endless chant welcomes me in my head.

Stiles.

Stop it! Leave me alone.

Let me in .

There has to be another way. It can't end like this.

LET ME IN STILES!

Nononono! You're not real! Get out of my head.

Let me in, Stiles. It's the only way. Would you risk it? I'm your only hope Stiles. Let me in. It's the only way.

Sobs welcome my traumatized soul at the realization that this is it. This is how it all ends. Eveyone is dead and I might just go crazy. Right here, right now. Shaking, I clutch Derek's hand in mine.

I'm sorry, Derek. A single tear falls on our conjoined hands. If this is the only way...

I feel it then, the rumbling of the Earth beneath my feet as my power seems to flow right through me. A gasp escapes me at the sight of a blinding light began to surround our bodies. Hope filled me instantly. This light, beautiful and blinding, was not a sign for someone going dark. It gave me hope that, maybe, I'll survive this and still be me. Still good relatively speaking.

A smile makes its way onto my face as I welcome the warmth and beauty that encompasses us.

Then, everything changed.

What was once comfortable warmth soon turned into a scolding heat. The force of it turns my skin to fire.

Opening my eyes in search of the new source of my increasing discomfort, I am welcomed by darkness. Smothering black smoke took the place of the light. It's then I realize. It's then I lose all hope. It's then I am clutched by the darkness within. It's then I realize all too late.

A heartbeat comes to a stuttering beginning beneath my clasped hands. I find myself unable to feel anything. The man I love is alive and I feel nothing.

"Stiles?" Derek breathes.

That's the last thing I hear before darkness consumed me.

~ End Flashback~

Memories of the past never leave me. That is a day I'd never forget. I glance down at Derek as the dawn begins to break. Beautiful. It's moments like these that I love the most. To see Derek unplaqued by worry and guilt. That night, the Hale pack was gone. Defeated by the Argents, who had someone on the inside. It doesn't even matter, because, tonight, I'm going to go back. Tonight, I'm going to make sure this never happened. Tonight, I'm going back to the beginning.