Disclaimer: Not mine :(
A/N: This may be out of character but at least it's not angsty.
There's a candy thief in the subway and Shaw wants revenge.
Sweet Tooth
"Damn it" Shaw growls, the empty wrapper that once contained a chocolate bar crinkling in her fist as she squeezes it. This was the third hiding place that had been breached and once again her precious stash of sugary goodness was now empty save for the wrappers, which she was beginning to suspect the thief was leaving behind just to taunt her. The candy bar didn't bother her so much but the peanut butter M&Ms? Those were a completely different story. Last week it had been the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and the time before that the chocolate coated popcorn. This thief showed no mercy which is something she might have admired had she not been so angry. If there was one thing her co-workers should know better it's not to mess with her food. Or her weapons, or just her in general but that was beside the point.
This called for revenge. Diabolical, blood thirsty, candy coated revenge.
There was no way the thief was getting away with this.
Her first stop was the grocery store, where she picked out the tantalising target of a Hershey's Cookies & Cream bar as well as a packet of Candy Corn. She also got a packet of dried chilli flakes and some more coffee since they kept running out down in the Subway. Stopping an Artificial Intelligence from taking over the world and saving lives didn't leave a lot of time for grocery shopping.
Her second stop was to the dollar store, where she took her time selecting the perfect bottle of superglue. Prize in hand she spotted a packet of jellybeans at the checkout which she snagged, figuring if she was doing all this to trap the thief she should at least get something for herself as well.
Everything in hand and revenge plan taking shape she re-entered the subway, stopping to great Bear as she called out a half hearted hello to Finch, who she could hear typing away in the subway car. He replied with something that may have been 'hello Ms Shaw' but she wasn't really paying attention, too caught up in keeping the bag of food away from Bear's keen nose. Eventually he found something more interesting and she settled onto the bench, laying out her supplies methodically.
Once she was satisfied she began to carefully pull apart the wrappers using a pocket knife along the seams. Once the candy was completely free from the confines of the packaging she took the chilli powder and sprinkled it onto the chocolate bar before carefully re-sealing it using the glue. By the time she was done it looked exactly the same as when she brought it. Shaw smirked in satisfaction before she began the tedious task of gluing all the pieces of candy corn together. Task complete she put the hard lump of candy back into the packaging and re-sealed it. Now that was done all she had to do was find a new hiding place and she was good to go.
She settled on the gun lockers-a place she had previously considered but decided against it as it was used too often. There was a small space between the sniper rifle's carry case and the back of the locker that was just perfect and she had no doubt the thief would find it. In fact she was looking forward to it.
Now that was done all she had to do was sit back and wait. She was just about to dig into the jelly beans when Finch called her over and she taped them to the bottom of the bench for later.
It was three days before she thought of the candy again-having been caught up in several entertaining gun fights and several more, less entertaining surveillance operations. All in all it hadn't been a bad few days.
Shaw swings open the door to the gun locker, pulling aside several large weapons as she uncovers the stash. At first she is baffled to find it untouched but as she inspects it closer she finds a piece of paper tucked in-between the packets. She glares suspiciously as she plucks it out of its hiding place. The paper feels cheap and has no identifying marks but she can make out some letters where what looks like a permanent marker has bled through. Slowly she unfolds it, turning it the right way up as she reads.
Two words.
Nice try
It taunts her and she barely stops herself from tearing it into tiny pieces. Damn thief, she thinks eyeing the note as if it will reveal the origins of the writer. She has a sudden thought and holds the note up to the light, studying the areas that are heavily saturated with ink. The letters themselves are all basic block letters but they have a slightly elegant look to them, confirmed by the pressure points in the ink. It doesn't give her much to go on: It could be either Finch or Root, possibly even Reese trying to throw her off.
It irks her, so much so she has the sudden urge to go and shoot something but she settles for shoving everything back into the locker before slamming the door violently, muttering curses in several different languages under her breath, enough to give even the best linguist a headache. It doesn't make her any less angry and she stalks past a shocked looking Reese, who had come in to see what the noise was as she rips the jelly beans from their hiding place.
It takes her a moment to realise the packet is completely empty. She turns it over in her hands, thinking Bear found it but she doubted he could tear open the top neatly. A sound leaves her mouth that can only be described as a grow and the packet, along with the note are quickly burned.
This means war.
Her second plan is much more detailed than the first and involves an advanced surveillance system she borrowed (stole) from Finch. She sets it up on the inside of the subway car door before stashing the candy under Finch's work station. Any thief would have to be particularly daring to snag it unless of course it was Finch himself but either way the hidden camera should do the trick. Shaw's smile is more of a sneer as she leaves the subway, stopping by the grocery store on the way to her destination to replenish her stash.
The thief was going down.
It's five hours before she returns, covered in gunpowder and blood (not her own). Finch is still at his workstation so she decides to wait until he's gone before inspecting the bait. In the mean time she cleans her weapons and re-loads them, pleased that none got left behind during the fight.
"Ms Shaw, I'm going to take Bear for a walk, is there anything you need?" Finch asks just as she's putting everything away.
"No" she replies flatly and he nods, grabbing Bear's leash on his way out. She waits until she can no longer hear his footsteps before she makes her way over to his work area.
The candy is gone.
Shaw blinks in surprise. Whoever did this was good, she would give them that. Once again the wrappers were left behind, along with a note identical to the first. She takes her time opening it, ever suspicious.
This time it reads: Butterfingers, really? I thought you had better taste.
And yet the Butterfingers were all gone. Someone was taunting her. Lips pursed in frustration she pulled the camera down carefully, quickly plugging it in she uploads the footage. The first hour is empty and the next two are just Finch at the desk working. That's when the tape goes blank.
"What the hell?" Shaw mutters, furiously clicking the mouse but that's it: the footage simply cut out at 194 minutes, the thief no-where to be seen.
At least she knew it wasn't Finch and she had a timeline but it still got her no closer to the identity of the candy stealing, note leaving, footage erasing bane of her existence.
Thief 2 Shaw 0.
"Damn it" she growls, slamming a frustrated fist against the desk harder than necessary.
The thief had to go.
It's a while before she tries again and she's extra cautious when choosing the bait-she wasn't about to simply feed the thief and she may be sulking a little but she would rather die than admit it. This time Shaw's plan involves setting a trap: surveillance hadn't worked, tampering with the candy had done nothing so this time she was going to set a trap after the thief took the candy.
Step one involved dye packs but she doubted the thief would fall for that so she factored it into the plan and was simply using it as a diversion.
The real plan was far more sinister and involved laxatives.
Shaw smirked to herself as she coated the Lucky Charms in the tablets she had crushed into a fine powder. The box was already open and she had eaten half before she started with the powder-why not, it was about time she got something out of this. Once they were sufficiently coated she gave the box an extra shake before inserting the dye pack, shoving it right down to the bottom. Satisfied she closes the box, tucking the flap in as she pondered the best hiding place. Eventually she decides on the top of the subway car and she tosses the box onto the roof, smirking. At the very least the thief would have to work for their snack.
As predicted she finds a note along with the dye packs and cereal box the following day. This time it's longer than the last one, two full sentences:
Dye packs, I expected better from you. Might want to think harder next time.
Shaw smirks to herself as she reads it. Games not over yet she thinks as she tossed the box and dye pack out. Now all she had to do was wait and see who was going to the bathroom more than usual.
Unfortunately their jobs are too hectic and between three new numbers and Samaritan Shaw hadn't had time to hunt down the thief. She did however receive a very interesting note that said:
That was mean, effective and completely evil. Well done.
She had done a fist pump, earning her a look from Reese which she responded to with a glare.
Thief 2 Shaw 1.
Things were looking up.
It was time to break out the explosives. She placed a small charge of C4 into a cardboard box and set it, working quickly and meticulously. Next she placed three large cans of bright yellow paint (canary yellow the lady at the store had called it) on top before sealing the box. Then she took the bait, a very tempting combination of Nerds, Red Vines and Pop Tarts and put them in another box exactly the same as the first. She sealed that one before placing it carefully on top of the first. Satisfied with her work she stacked several more identical boxes around it, all filled with various materials such as feathers and packing beans. The explosives were set on a pressure plate so when the candy was removed they would go off, leaving the thief an obnoxious shade of yellow.
She hoped she would be there to see it.
Unfortunately she was out shooting kneecaps and missed the big event but Shaw returned to a note and a rather large mess, which took some explaining to Finch but it was completely worth it.
This one read: I just spent three hours washing yellow paint out of my hair. I'm going to have to up my game.
Thief 2 Shaw 2.
She smirks in satisfaction.
The next incident occurs after a series of seemingly unrelated numbers that kept the team busy for a week and a half. Shaw had just returned to the subway only to find a plastic bag sitting on the bench seat with her name written on it in suspicious black letters. She approaches it cautiously, not daring to go within a few feet of it. She's exhausted, irritated and yet mildly curious. Bear trots to her side and she leans down to pat him. He lets out an appreciative whine, tail thumping against the ground.
"Bet you know who the thief is" she mumbles, casting a suspicious glance at the bag. It had been a while since she'd eaten and even longer since she had anything sweet and her stomach grumbled at the thought but this was the candy thief she was talking about. There's no way they simply left her a bag of candy. She pondered simply leaving it there but curiosity got the better of her.
She fetched a broom and, fashioning it into a weapon she approaches cautiously, stopping when it was within reach of the handle. Muscles tense she carefully pokes the side of it with the end of the broom handle and waits.
Nothing happens.
Relieved she threads it through the bag handles and uses it to pick the bag up. Once again nothing happens and she places the bag onto the ground, sliding it off the broom handle. Inside is another note and she grabs it, unfolding the paper.
We meet again it says.
We do indeed Shaw thinks, putting the note aside. Inside the bag is a packet of Starburst fruit chews, a box of Milk Duds and a packet of Jolly Ranchers. She lifts each one carefully, inspecting the packing the same way she would a bomb before gently setting them aside. There's another note on the bottom of the bag, which she carefully unfolds with the precision of a surgeon. This time it says: Now you have to decide: are they safe to eat?
Oh the thief was good. They had waited until they knew her radar was on high alert before presenting her with the (potentially deadly) spoils. Shaw already knew the thief was merciless but throwing out perfectly good candy may simply be the trap itself.
It was a mind game, a good one at that. Once again the thief's tenacity impressed her. The jury was still out between Root and Reese, on the one had this seemed more Root's style but Reese could definitely pull it off, especially if he wanted to mess with her. The image of Reese covered in bright yellow paint made her smirk. If her fellow mayhem twin wanted to mess with her so be it and if it turned out to be the hacker, her revenge would be all the more sweet.
She decides, screw it and rips open the jolly ranchers, unwrapping one as she plops it into her mouth. The flavour explodes and she gives a satisfied moan. Safe was never her style anyway. After a few more pieces of candy she notices a pattern in the form of letters written on the inside of the wrappers. She inspects them closer and the handwriting matches the note perfectly.
It takes her a good half hour of unwrapping candy and decoding ciphers but eventually she has enough to disturn a message.
Don't eat the Milk Duds.
She throws those away, calling it a draw.
No more candy appears for the next two weeks and Shaw figures it's her turn. She spends a week planning and strategising before she comes up with a solid plan. This time she gets some pretzel flavoured M&M's, a Baby Ruth bar and an Oh Henry bar. Using a syringe she carefully injects a small but potent dose of hot sauce into the Baby Ruth bar but leaves the rest, figuring she can use them as a diversion. Content with her work she hides them under her bed, silently wishing the thief luck.
She has a semi-automatic under her pillow after all.
She checks the stash periodically but it's three days before she finds the candy gone, a note left in its place.
Am I to believe you left perfectly good candy stashed under your bed?
Not with a thief on the loose she thinks, smirking. She tucks the note into her pocket, wondering how long it would take for the thief to discover her little trick. Her answer comes half an hour later in the form of a high pitched shriek. She follows the sound into the subway car where she finds an amused looking Reese, shocked Finch and Root, who is frantically fanning her mouth, Baby Ruth bar in hand.
The sight brings her no small amount of joy.
"Busted" she whispers under her breath. Reese sends her a questioning look but she ignores him, too busy watching the product of her handiwork. Eventually Finch must realise the problem because he hands her a bottle of water and Root calms down. When her breathing has returned to normal and both Reese and Finch have decided the problem was under control they left, taking Bear with them.
"So it was you" Shaw says, her face impassive save for the slight upturn at the corners of her lips. Mutely Root nods, having the grace to look guilty.
"You could have shared" she replies, her tone taking on a flirty edge earning her an eye roll.
"Where's the fun in that?" Shaw smirks, sitting down. Seconds later Root is at her side, leaving barely a millimetre of space between them. She considers moving away but knowing Root she would only follow so instead she remains still, her breathing the only sign she isn't a statue.
"True" Root replies. Shaw can feel her gaze lingering but she doesn't move.
"I still can't believe you took everything: the M&Ms, Peanut Butter cups, hell even the Jellybeans." She replies, something akin to amazement slipping into her tone though coming from the ex-assassin it sounds more like mild amusement.
"Jellybeans?" Root questions, confused. This time Shaw does look at her.
"Wait, that wasn't you?" she asks.
"No, the notes were but I don't know anything about Jellybeans" Root shrugs.
"Huh" Shaw replies. If it wasn't her then there was a second thief out there. One who was even sneakier.
"Want to help me catch a thief?" she asks. Root's eyes light up, reminding Shaw of Bear when he got excited.
"I thought you would never ask." Shaw shakes her head, unsure if she finds Root's delighted smile irritating or tolerable. Before she can decide Root holds up a packet of Skittles, shaking it slightly.
"First we need to re-fuel" she teases. Shaw snatches at it but it's gone before her hand can make contact. She frowns, glaring at Root who holds up a red Skittle.
"Open wide."
"You have got to be kidding me" Shaw mumbles but surprisingly she does as she's told and, delighted Root pops the treat into her mouth.
"Good?" she asks and Shaw nods. Her eyes linger on Shaw's lips and Shaw rolls her eyes.
"Seriously?" she mumbles and before Root can make a witty retort Shaw's lips are on hers. She tastes sweet and fruity and suddenly Skittles are her new favourite candy.