So I've never really written these people before, apart from that fic of drabbles. I hope I do Finn and others some justice. Couldn't sleep last night and my Ipod started playing Throw Me A Rope by KT Tunstall, gorgeous song. It inspired me to write this even if doesn;t really have anythign to do with the story. Also, Cory Monteith's amazing performance in 'Sectionals' lead me to try to write somethign really deep. I hope I succeeded :)
I don't own glee or any characters or any storylines (if I did we wouldn't be waiting till April.)
She's in the guest room, packing up her small suitcase worth of stuff. Santana and her mother will be there in half an hour, seems like she can pull through when she's needed.
His mother's in the kitchen, apparently making him, them both, something to eat. He's not sure he could stomach anything right now. He's sitting on his bed, staring at the laptop on his desk. The DVD is still in it, with the sonogram.
What happens now? He has no idea how he feels, everything is kind of numb. Now that Sectionals is over, now that there is nothing to do, he feels nothing. He stares at the black screen, remembering the huge overwhelming unconditional warmth he felt watching that video. He loved her, wanted to keep that safe. How does that just go away? Does it go away? He can't make himself find out.
His mom finally comes in with a knock and a small sandwich and a glass of milk. She sets it on the table, and sits next to him, taking his hand in hers. He's so much bigger than her, but right now he feels about seven, when he used to be scared of that branch outside his bedroom window and would climb into her bed at night.
She took the news much better than he did. As soon as they got home, he stormed off into his bedroom, leaving Quinn in the hallway with his mom. He was glad she got to explain everything; he couldn't listen to that again. Couldn't even think about it.
"I'm sorry, Finn. I'm really sorry." He whispers into his shoulder, and for a second he wonders why she's sorry. She lets go of his hand to hug him tightly and he wants to be a little boy again.
Letting go, she cups his cheek, so that she can look him in the eyes, "You need to say goodbye."
There's no question, and when he goes to protest, she shakes her head, "She's leaving soon. If you don't talk now, you never will. You need to say goodbye to her."
He looked into her eyes, the ones that had gotten through every nightmare, every road block and realised she wasn't talking about Quinn. And that, as always, she was right.
He nodded.
10 minutes later he's standing at the bottom of the staircase, leaning against the wall staring at his shoes. It was kind of like when he picked her up for their first date. Except totally different.
His mom walks down first, carrying her suitcase and Quinn is following her, head down. He should've been the one to carry that bag, not make his mom do it. That what his dad would've done. But he doesn't really think his dad has been in this situation.
She stops on the last steps, so that when he talks a step closer they're more at eye level.
"Finn - " she breathes, and they're both unsure of what to say.
He hands her a white envelope, shoves it in her hand more and she looks at him curiously. Well, as curious as she can get behind those red eyes. She's been crying and he's not sure how he feels about that.
"It's for her." He says, not quite looking at her in the eye yet, "It's not for you. Don't open it until she's born. You can read it to her then. Then let her keep it. It's hers, not yours."
Part of him thinks he's not only talking about the letter, but also his heart. He wrote it weeks ago, during that week he was partnered with Kurt for the Ballads. It's long and some of it doesn't make sense, but he thinks it says what he wants it to say. Or wanted to say. But nothing's changed. Not that way at least. He'd still do anything for her, still wants to protect her from anything. Still wants to be her daddy.
She nods, silently, and pockets the letter into her bag. There's nothing really more to say. He's angry, but he can't be angry. She's the mother of that baby. That baby that he can't help but love with all of his heart.
He moves to step away so she can get down, but she reaches out to stop him. He instantly flinches away, her dismay obvious. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." She says, mirroring his mother's words.
He looks her in the eye now, stares at her, trying to see inside, trying to understand. He doesn't think he ever will understand, or forgive, or forget. It's not about Puck, it's that she took away his chance to be something to someone. That's all he wanted and now it's gone.
"I'm sorry too." He says finally and moves past her to walk upstairs.
At the top of the stairs he stops and turns around to watch her leave his house. His mom is at the door, passing the suitcase onto Santana. She gives Quinn an quick hug before saying something that makes her smile ever so slightly. If this was anyone else, he'd be furious. But his mom knows what's right, even if he doesn't get it sometimes.
Although he doesn't know how this could ever be right.