The Worst Date Ever-

Summary: Hogan takes a girl out, however some things go wrong.

…

Hogan was down in the radio room with Kinch. They had just finished blowing a bridge. It went well, no trouble with any patrols, in fact it was almost too easy. Hogan glanced at his watch. Then looked back to Kinch. Wait a minute… Hogan looked back ay his watch. Shoot! He was going to be late! VERY LATE! "I gotta go." He said quickly and ran to change.

"What's the rush?" Kinch asked.

"I completely forgot about a date I have tonight." Hogan said from the changing room just down the way.

Kinch couldn't help but smile.

Hogan ran by again dressed in a nice suit his white overcoat. He stopped in front of Kinch. "Okay how do I look?"

"Fine." Kinch said barely looking up.

Hogan dropped his arms at his side. "Seriously."

"Fine."

"Just fine?" Hogan asked disappointed. "Maybe some after shave or maybe I should-"

"Colonel, you're acting like a teenager on his first date." Kinch said. "Relax."

Hogan straightened. "I am not." He started walking to the end of the tunnel then turned with a smile. "Entirely." and continued walking.

When he got out of the tunnel he got into the staff car that he had left outside of camp by the others ahead of time and drove off to meet the girl he was supposed to take out that night. He stopped to pick up some flowers and chocolates just before the shops closed and was able to get to her house at a reasonable hour. He went up to her door and knocked three times. Hopefully she wouldn't get mad at him and make a scene. After a minute the door opened and there she stood dressed and ready. "I was wondering what took you so long." she said.

"I'm terrible sorry, I had some unexpected work to take care of." He said handing her the flowers.

"Oh Thank- A Choo!"

Hogan could believe this.

"They're- Choo!"

Great.

"Beautiful- Achoo!"

She was allergic to flowers.

"I'm terribly sorry, I had no idea you were allergic to flowers." He said going to take them back.

She pulled away. "Nonsense. I'll just put them into some water."

"Oh uhm here." He handed her the chocolates.

She took them gratefully. "Thank -Achoo! You…" She put the flowers and chocolates away and the two left for the restaurant.

Hogan helped her into the passenger seat and closed the door, then moved around to the drivers seat.

They weren't even half way down the road when the car started making funny noises. It sputtered and jumped and bounced. "Is it supposed to be making those noises?" She asked

The car then sputtered to a stop in the middle of the road. Hogan tried to start it back up again but it was sounding too strained. "We can go back to your place." He offered.

"But didn't you make reservations?" She asked.

"Well, yeah, but I don't think we're going to make it." He said looking at his watch.

"We can walk right? And even if we miss the reservation we can just go to another restaurant." she said simply. Apparently she really wanted to go out to eat.

Hogan nodded. "Alright, Let's go." Hogan got out of the car followed by the girl and they walked to the restaurant. Unfortunately it was freezing weather and he was soon regretting it. Especially when the wind picked up. The girl didn't seem to mind.

They were able to get to the restaurant without losing any toes. They walked into the restaurant shaking off the cold, the head waiter asked if they had a reservation.

"Yes, under the name Herr Hoganheim." Hogan confirmed.

"Ahh, yes." The head waiter said as he looked into his book.

Would things actually work out?

"You never showed up so we gave your table away, I'm afraid." The head waiter said snapping his book closed.

Nope Hogan wasn't that lucky tonight. He turned to the girl. He couldn't argue with the head waiter. "I'm afraid we'll have to eat somewhere else."

"Okay." She said with a perky attitude then turned and led Hogan out of the building. They walked a ways down the street and came across another eating establishment. This one DID NOT need a reservation. They went in. She and Hogan were led to an empty table and they ordered some wine to start dinner off. At least they found somewhere to eat and warm up. He was just upset that he'd have to walk all the way back to camp. She really didn't seem to care either way that she'd have to walk to her apartment.

They were given their drinks and they began to chat of minor things, like the weather. "You didn't seem to mind the walk." Hogan mentioned.

She looked up. "Oh I always walk I'm used to it."

Hogan reached across the table for the wine but for some reason didn't open his hand in time to grab it and knocked it all over his lady friend.

She gasped and stood up quickly as the wine poured off the table. Hogan quickly righted the bottle on the table and began soaking up the spilt wine.

She began wiping and soaking the wine that was on her dress. "Oh my…"

"I'm terribly sorry." He said offering her another cloth. Why was he so off tonight? He actually wanted it to end. He wanted to skip dinner take her home and retreat back to camp. Of course then there was the issue with the car. He couldn't leave it.

"I'll go clean up." She said leaving to the ladies room.

Hogan sat down again once the wine was cleaned up and sighed. He just prayed no one he knew showed up.

Then the door opened and in walked someone he knew. This was just his luck. Who was it? He looked up. What? He looked at the man as he walked in with a pretty girl by his side. She said something and he laughed in a terrible German accent. Then the man looked at Hogan and nearly went pale.

"Excuse me a moment." He left his girl and walked over to Hogan. "Sir, I can explain."

Hogan didn't know what to say he was off tonight anyway. "Newkirk? Who gave you permission to leave camp?" He asked wondering, not mad.

Newkirk stuttered a bit and said nothing.

Hogan sighed.

"Sir,"

"Yes?" Hogan asked he wasn't mad, just feeling kind of weird.

"What're you doin' 'ere?" The Englander asked in a hushed tone.

Hogan looked up at him. "I'm here with a lady friend."

Newkirk looked around. "Where is she?"

"Hopefully not leaving." Hogan said leaning on his hand.

"What 'appened?" Newkirk asked.

Hogan looked over and saw her coming back. "I'll tell you later, here she comes."

Newkirk took his leave and returned to his date.

She sat down across from Hogan again.

"Sorry about that." Hogan apologized again.

"Don't worry about it let's just order."

Hogan wasn't sure of she was annoyed or not. They ordered, and luckily the diner had what they wanted. At least that went right.

The whole while Newkirk and Hogan kept exchanging glances. Newkirk's was a curious glance and Hogan's was a glance of 'stop looking over here'.

Finally it was time to leave and Hogan reached into this pocket. "No…"

She looked up at him. "Something wrong?"

Hogan searched his other pockets. "I…" He didn't. He searched his coat pockets. He forgot his wallet! "I lost my wallet, it must be back in the car." He had forgot to put it in his pocket when he changed clothes actually. How could he forget something like that?

"Oh…" She didn't sound to enthusiastic.

Great now what was he supposed to do. His answer came.

"I'm is such a good mood. Hey," It was Newkirk coming over to Hogan's table.

What did he want? Was he drunk?

"I'm going to buy your meal for you!" Newkirk pulled out his wallet and handed Hogan some money.

"I owe you!" Hogan said and accepted the money happily. Thank the RAF that Newkirk was there.

"You take money from strangers?" the girl asked unimpressed.

Hogan looked at her. "Oh no, we're good friends."

"That's right my dear." Newkirk confirmed.

"Oh, and you didn't introduce me?" She asked Hogan.

Hogan didn't know what to say. "I didn't think you'd be interested." Hogan hadn't thought about it. Was she mad?

"Oh I see."

Newkirk decided to introduce himself and save Hogan the trouble. "I'm Hans Mueller, it's very good to meet you." he said taking her hand.

She smiled.

"Shall we?" Hogan asked. He wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. "Oh and Hans, would you mind if we caught a ride back with you?"

"I'll ask Heidi." Newkirk winked. He went over to his girl who was putting her coat on. She smiled and nodded and seemed enthusiastic about it. Newkirk returned. "She'd be delighted."

The four paid their checks and left together. Heidi drove Hogan back to his car and his date back to her house where she stayed with her and they began fast friends. Newkirk stayed with Hogan to get the car started again.

Newkirk got into the driver's seat and turned it on. It sounded fine. He looked at Hogan who was so frustrated by now he had Newkirk drive. They drove up to the house and told the girls they were heading off.

Hogan was fine with that. He and Newkirk parked Klink's car where it was supposed to be and made their way back to the tunnel and camp. They descended down into the tunnel and they were home free.

Hogan changed back into his colonel's clothes again and went up into the barracks followed by Newkirk.

Hogan and Newkirk went into the office where Hogan explained his 'luck' that night.

"Blimey, you were off tonight weren't you." Newkirk said

"I don't think she'll ask me for another dinner." Hogan said matter-of-factly. "My star must be blocked." He said referring to his zodiac sign.

Newkirk smiled and shook his head. "What would you have done if I wasn't there?"

Hogan sat there thinking. "I have no idea. If she had the money I'd probably would have had her pay, but that wouldn't have looked good. I was already looking like an idiot."

Newkirk patted his commanding officer on the shoulder. "It's all over now."

"Thank the stars!" Hogan said thankful.

"Dunno if you wanna thank them Sir, they started it." Newkirk joked about the zodiac signs.

The two had a good laugh and by the next morning Hogan was back to his normal self.

[AN] I'd hate to have a date like this. (if I was Hogan I mean, If I was the receiving end I'd feel so sorry for him.)