An Epic, Tragic Love Story
~Not to be taken too seriously~
Lady Escargot Pudding sighed once again as she stared out of her open veranda, resting her head in her hand with her arms against the wrought iron railing.
The gardens were exceptionally nice this balmy summer's day, with the white sun high overhead, and bees buzzing from flower to flower while butterflies flitted up to kiss lady Escargot's cheeks. She fluttered her eyes at them in return, and they scattered bashfully, sprinkling cotton-candy-colored dust in their wake.
But not even the lovely butterflies could fill the void that was eating her up inside. She had never had to worry about much while growing up - being a lady of high standing, with maids and servants and private tutors and whatnot, she was not used to the idea of 'wanting' something.
But now… she found herself feeling quite… in want.
Of what, she didn't know.
She stared out again over the gardens, searching for an answer - an inkling of something that could fill the hole in her heart and make her feel as whole and carefree as she used to.
A faint yapping met the refined lady's ears, and her eyes searched for the source of the insistent noise. Gazing out towards the edge of the garden, she noticed a little white dog bounding (as well it could on its short legs) down the flagstone path.
Lady Escargot wondered what it was the dog was after.
She got her answer a moment later when the dog came to a stop at the foot of a brick wall which bordered the garden and then, raising itself up with its paws against the bricks, started howling quite melodically to a small brown cat who was perched at the top.
The cat regarded the dog with amusement, batting its feline lashes towards the smitten pup.
Escargot watched intently at the wordless exchange between the coy feline and her would-be-suitor, rejoicing when the cat jumped down (still feigning disinterest) and rubbed languidly against the happy dogs face.
The animal duo walked together further down the path, and as the Lady watched, she felt something stir in her heart.
That cat had someone to come after her… she wanted someone to come after her too!
Someone to serenade her, to pine after her, to travel miles upon miles just to see her face….
She needed to be needed!
She needed her own 'dog'.
That was to say, she needed a man.
"Josephine! Where are you Josephine!"
Lady Escargot wandered into her cozy sitting room, waiting for her lady-in-waiting, Josephine. A warm fire crackled in the hearth, bleeding red and gold upon the lodge-style furnishings.
"Here I am, Lady Escargot." Her friend emerged from the other side of the room, trying to avoid stepping on the hem of her long green dress as she approached the Lady.
Escargot turned to her, hiding her uncertainty and embarrassment behind the fan she held.
"I know this may sound sudden… but I want to get married immediately. You'll find someone, won't you?"
Josephine only stared.
"Y…you what? I - I mean, yes milady, but don't you think that could wait until a little later?" Josephine said humbly, wondering what brought this strange mood on.
Sensing her friends trepidation at her request, Escargot raised her voice, using her confident tone to mask other less confident emotions she currently felt, saying "I beg your pardon Josephine, but do you refuse to obey me?"
Josephine's back went rigid, and with an evident stutter and obvious discomfort said "Oh, no Lady Escargot, I'll get on it right away - UWAAH!"
And tripping over her skirts, she made a hasty, albeit graceless, retreat from the room.
The air was sweet as fresh mint, the sun was low and cast its orange-marmalade hue on every surface it could reach, and the bees hovered over flowers on the bank of the river, trailing clouds of pollen that covered the plants like a sugar candy coating.
With a flick of her foot, Lady Escargot kicked a pebble into the peaceful river, sending it hurtling off to who knows where in the grasp of the current. Oh how she wished she could be like that little stone! Free to go wherever she wanted, do whatever she wanted, and no one would bother her about it. Her servants and handmaids were a little too helpful sometimes.
She was really starting to regret her decision to get married, and was regretting even more involving her so-called friends in the matter!
They had found her a nice enough boy - Pierre Pannacotta was sweet and caring and all, but… that was really all there was to him. Sure, he was attractive, but only in the passive 'Oh look what a fine young man' sort of way.
And conversations with him were down-right dull.
There wasn't a mean bone in his body, and sometimes… sometimes Lady Escargot felt he was a little too kind - an angel making everyone around him look like demons.
But, well…. she really couldn't complain. Like it or not, he was the most eligible man she'd met.
It wasn't his fault that he didn't quite meet her ideals.
Not that she really knew what those were.
Escargot arose, deciding she'd had her fill of melancholy thinking for one day, and was about to turn and walk away when suddenly there was a rustling in the brush across the river.
She froze.
The noise was coming from a little farther down-stream than her, and in the fading light of day, she could just barely make out a slight shaking in the tall grass shrouded in shadows.
Acutely aware of just how alone she was, Lady Escargot made a hasty dive behind the twisted trunk of one of the trees lining the bank, and peered with morbid anticipation, knowing she should run but secretly aching for the adrenaline in her veins to continue.
She'd never really been in danger before - a lady such as herself didn't get out much - and it was… exciting!
Her body shaking but her eyes alert, Lady Escargot watched as a tall shadow moved closer to the bank. She saw a hand sweep aside the tall grass and shrubbery as a figure stepped into the sunlight, and -
Escargot's breath caught in her throat.
It was a man, but… not anything like any men she'd seen before! Silver hair billowed behind him, caught up in the breeze and shining like molten metal in the lowering rays of the sun. His outfit was blood red and looked Eastern - not the only tell-tale sign that he wasn't from around those parts. A sword hung at his waste, and he absently held onto the hilt, lazily resting his hand on it as though taunting trouble to come. His jaw was defined and his mouth set into a frown, and his eyes - oh his eyes! They shone like liquid gold and put the fiery sun to shame!
And just as Lady Escargot was getting lost in the wholly enchanting visage of this mysterious person, a sudden movement from the top of his head drew her attention, and her eyes bugged.
He had… dog ears.
It was unmistakable. Two little furry triangular dog ears sat atop his head, swiveling this way and that way, hearing everything.
Well, it was a good thing she had stopped breathing.
She suddenly found herself in no mood to attract the attention of this other-worldly being.
'I musn't move, I musn't move!' Escargot chanted this mantra to herself, trying to keep still while searching silently for an escape route.
'Maybe if I just back away… back into the bushes, and then run…. wait… he's moving - what's he doing? Oh… oh my….. oh my! OH NO!'
She watched as the handsome stranger pulled his sword out of his belt, setting it next to him on the ground, and then gawked as he started pulling off his outer shirt. Suddenly his other shirt was gone too, leaving his well-sculpted chest bare and beautiful, and then his hands were undoing the tie on his pants, and almost too late her brain caught up as she realized 'He's planning to bathe in the river!'
Instinctually she screamed and ducked and covered her eyes, not bothering to think that she had quite loudly given herself away.
The would-be-bather jumped, quickly re-tieing his belt and grabbing his sword from the ground.
"Who's there!?" His voice was loud and rough, and suddenly Escargot realized what danger she was in. Clamping a hand over her mouth, she moved into a crouch, preparing to spring away into the growing dark.
But it seemed that fate had other plans.
Just as she sprung, her foot caught on her voluminous skirt, and she completely lost her balance, falling backwards -
right into the river.
She screamed again, and the man on the other shore looked to her just in time to see her head disappear under the water as she was caught in the strong current.
Cursing loudly, he dove.
'Oh why did I come here today? Why did I stay so long? Why, why WHY?' These and many other such thoughts ran through the young lady's head as she was swept downriver. The water was rushing too fast for her to see, and anytime she reached out to try and grab onto something, she only succeeded in banging her arms and legs. Her last attempt left her with a sprained ankle and scraped fingers, and with despair, she realized her efforts to save herself were futile.
Oh if only she had someone to rescue her!
Her eyes closed, her world going dark, when suddenly something - no, somebody grabbed her waist, and she was being propelled upwards, clutched against someone.
Someone strong.
At once she felt the pressure of the water around her disappear, and she gasped, greedily sucking in air and coughing when she took too much.
She was thrown onto her back on the shore, grass tickling her hands and feet as she lay sprawled, her chest heaving and head spinning.
She probably could have laid there in a daze for hours, but her world was suddenly thrown back into focus as that harsh voice from before sounded to her right… very close by.
"Hey, just what the Hell were you doing? Trying to die?"
Her eyes sprung open, and slowly, cautiously, she turned her head towards the voice.
And there he was.
He sat next to her on the grass, dripping wet and breathing hard - despite his obvious strength, it seemed the current had been hard for him to beat too. His silver-white hair hung in heavy curtains off his back, some of it plastered to his chest and around his face, which was set into an angry scowl.
She couldn't help but flinch a bit at his expression.
"Who- who are you?"
The mystery boy reeled, looking affronted.
"Wha - HOW ABOUT A 'THANK YOU'?"
Lady Escargot recoiled slightly as he shouted at her - she wasn't used to such rude behavior!
And yet… in response to the fire in his voice, she felt a little bit of fire creeping into her as well.
"How can I thank you when I don't even know who you are or where you're from? For all I know, you could be a bandit or a vagabond, or some other disreputable type of person! And besides -" She sat up suddenly, pointing an accusing finger at the attractively glowering man in front of her, saying "it was your fault I fell in."
There was a moment of calm as her words sunk in, and then the storm.
"WHAT THE - MY FAULT?! I was minding my own business going to take a bath! YOU'RE the peeping tom who was invadin' my privacy! And it ain't my fault you're wearing that stupid ball-gown there! What the heck are you doing wearing such a ridiculous piece of clothing in the forest? Waiting for a prince?"
He all but sneered the word, and she felt her blood boiling. Just who was this arrogant fool to say such things to a lady such as herself?
"Why? Consider yourself one, do you? This forest doesn't have your name on it you know, nor is this river your personal bath! Why not just wash yourself at home, like decent folk do?"
His eyes narrowed and his mouth curved up into a dangerous smirk. "But you see," he said, in a low, gravelly, dangerous voice, "I'm not 'decent folk'. And besides," he paused, lifting a hand to examine his nails with disinterest, "since when has a demon had a home?"
He flexed his fingers, and the low rays of sun glinted off of - she gasped - claws! He smirked wickedly, and Lady Escargot only then noticed his sharp fangs. A Demon! She should have known!
Her whole body shaking, she backed away, her fear only rising as she realized how pointless it would be to try and run from him.
He stopped his little 'demonstration' as he saw the fear in her eyes spike, and with a heavy sigh he brought his hand to clench angrily in his hair.
"Look… I didn't mean - I'm not gonna hurt you, okay? I just saved your life!"
She didn't back away anymore, but she didn't reclaim her former spot near him either.
"Grrr, what is it you're so afraid of?"
She was surprised by that, and that only seemed to confuse the young man.
"Wha - well aren't you going to kill me? I mean… isn't that what demons usually do to humans?"
His gaze fell into something almost hurt-looking, and his fuzzy ears flattened back against his head. Lady Escargot had a sudden, almost irresistible urge to touch said ears, but she refrained.
He turned his gaze to the side, staring at the ground, and his soft response of "Not always" was almost carried away by the breeze before it ever reached her.
They sat there, the sun going ever lower on the horizon, the sky turning a delicious-looking plum, as a chorus of frogs and crickets began around them.
And then… then Lady Escargot Pudding found herself doing something that she couldn't quite explain, and couldn't understand no matter how many times she thought on it after the fact.
Crawling on her hands and knees, her pink and purple dress getting even more covered in grass and dirt and mud, she approached the young man… demon… and before he could even turn to face her, she had grasped one of his clawed hands in both of her dainty ones and looked him straight in his glowing golden eyes, saying with a tentative yet friendly smile "My name is Escargot Pudding - what's yours?"
He stared at her, his jaw slack, then stared at their hands, then back at her, then back at their hands, and she could have sworn there was a tinge of pink to his cheeks as he answered "Hannabart. Hannabart Pekkapon."
*Author's Note:
Remember, this is crack.
Don't let it get ya bent outta shape.
And don't read it unless you've watched episode 128 of Inuyasha. You're not gonna get it if you haven't watched that episode.
Of course I don't know why anyone wouldn't have watched that one – I know a lot of people don't like filler episodes, but that one is downright hilarious and fun, and I don't think it takes away from anything in the main storyline.
But whatevs.
There's more to this story – I plan to flesh it out to the 'Hojo vs Inuyasha confrontation' and beyond, so stay tuned! There will be parts here and there that are reminiscent of scenes from the 'actual play' in ep128, so keep an eye out for those, but the rest of it will be my own extrapolations on what I think a relationship between these two would be like, based on how Inuyasha and Kagome actually interact.
So…. It's AU, but it's still supposed to be 'in character'.
I'm tryin' anyways.
See y'all next time!