Once I had changed into my swim trunks, I went outside to the water and began to float as I waited for my Bella, to to come outside. I was so happy to say that, my Bella. She was now mine in every way possible way and nothing could take her away from me. I knew Bella was upset because her best friend the dog, Jacob had run away again after the wedding. To be honest, I would be glad if he never returned after the whole incidence at the wedding and his thoughts he had about Bella when they were in the tent together, and his weak attempts of trying to steal her away from me, it took all of my patience not to make that four legged mutt into a three legged. I did not like seeing Bella blame herself for what happened, she was in a lot of pain, but if that mutt was really her friend, he would have accepted her decision. I was excited to finally be with her. Bella and I would be together for eternity, but I couldn't help but be terrified.
I tried everything in my power to convince Bella to wait a few more years before she was changed, but she was so stubborn. She didn't care about ever moving forward with her life or having children,not even when Rosalie told her why she should she believes she should remain human. Bella wouldn't realize it now, but one day she'd want children. How could she possibly know what she would want in the future? Couldn't she see how a similar situation had affected Rose and Esme? Rosalie would give anything for a child, but as a vampire it was impossible. Bella wanted one thing and one thing only. The one thing Bella wanted before she was immortal was to experience us together while she was still human. It was as if Bella had total control over me, I couldn't say no to her even if I wanted, except for her visiting the dogs, that I would never budge on. I wanted to be that close to her, but I was afraid of killing her by cracking her skull or worse, changing her. I had gone to Carlisle with my fears, and he had told me he had absolute faith in me, and that although our vampire traits can cause us to be over the top in this situation, Carlisle's wisdom is what I could count on for all the years of my existence.
When I went to my Bachelor party or hunting party with my brothers they didn't laugh or judge me like I thought they would when I told them, well
"You see we have never actually- done it before," I told them as I hid my face in my hands as because I couldn't bear to see the looks on their faces, because listening to their thoughts was bad enough. Emmett was shocked, surprised and was fighting off his mirth. Jasper was more sympathetic.
"You're kidding right," Emmett said. "Please tell me you're doing this to mess with my mind?"
When I didn't respond Emmett chuckled a bit, "I can't believe you have never been laid before."
"No I haven't, are you happy," I said through gritted teeth.
"Never?" Jasper questioned.
"Not even when we lived in Alaska with Tanya throwing herself at you?"
Tanya was one of our distant relatives of the Denali Coven, they followed our vegetarian lifestyle, their coven was originally started by Elezar after he left the Volturi. I was aware of Tanya's affection she had towards me, but she understood I did not return those feelings and at the wedding, offered her congratulations for me finding happiness. Although she thought it was weird for a vampire to love a human, she did not make a mockery of it like Emmett did.
"No," I snapped. "I never had any feelings towards Tanya."
"Look Edward if what you're looking for is honesty, then here's something. It's a wonderful experience. When I'm with Alice, I feel like a different person."
Great... just what I need to feel even worse. Jasper could sense my feelings, so he didn't want to push any further than he already has. Emmett however couldn't help his mirth.
"Well you know that Rose and I just can't go one minute without being around each other. It's just painful to be away from her," Emmett smirked.
I finally lost my patience, "Yes Emmett, we all know."
Emmett and Rosalie have an intensely physical relationship. Living in the same house as them, it was like living with pornography stars. What was so awful about my gift, is having to watch them from their minds.
Jasper then said, "Just don't think about it so much, let nature takes its course."
Yeah if I don't kill the love of my life while doing so.
I was pulled from my thoughts when I saw Bella walk out of the house in her two piece suit. She looked more radiant than I have ever seen her before. She was breathtaking, even more than in her wedding gown. Bella came out and floated in the water next to me,
"Beautiful," she whispered. She has to be joking, nothing in the world could compare to her.
"It's all right," I answered her unimpressed. She seemed to underestimate my thoughts and feelings I have towards her.
"But I wouldn't use the word beautiful,"I told her truthfully, "Not with you standing in comparison." Bella's beauty is something I would admire even when I had left her those past couple of months. Rosalie was shocked I thought she was more beautiful than her.
"I promised we would try," I whispered "If... if I do something wrong you must tell me at once."
She looked at me with those orb like brown eyes, there was something about those eyes that would make me fall down to my knees.
"Don't be afraid," she murmured running her hand down my chest, "We belong together."
I wrapped my arms around her holding her against me; it was making my body feel nervous.
"Forever," I agreed as I pulled her further into the water.
When I had Bella further into the water, I started kissing her like there was no tomorrow, and she returned my kisses in favor. Her heart was beating erratically in her chest, her breathing was heavy. She was just as anxious as I was to get back to the house and into the bed. My hands went from her neck, down her back, and onto her butt. I let my fingers slip under the elastic band of her bikini bottom and stuck my finger in her entrance. Bella began to moan. I knew that I had to be gentle with her, one false step and she would be gone forever. I then decided that we couldn't hold on any longer, so I pulled her back through the water and dried her off.
Once we were dried, we walked towards the doors leading into the house, and when we were inside I noticed Bella was staring at the bed.
"What's wrong love?" I asked.
Biting her lip she replied, "It's a big bed."
I chuckled, "It won't be so big once were done."
I went over to the bed and threw all the covers off, when I walked back towards her, I kissed her then carried her bridal style towards the bed, I hovered on top of her. She wrapped her legs around my waist and put my hands behind her neck and began to kiss her once more. I kissed her between her breasts as I reached up behind her neck and untied the strings at the top of the bikini. When I pulled the strings down, I could see her perfect breast. They weren't too big or too small, they were just right to fit her body. I bent down and kissed each one tenderly before pulling on each nipple slightly with my lips. I could feel Bella's hands tightening in my hair, and that on its own was such a turn on.
"I'm trying to be gentle love, don't rush me because I don't want to hurt you," I told her softly. She nodded her head with understanding, but her body was telling me otherwise. She had microscopic beads of sweat on her forehead and her heart rate was beating faster than ever. I knew she was anxious but I had to remember that she was human. One false move; that's all it takes.
My hands continued to untie the other strings behind her back, and once they were undone, I threw her top onto the floor. It took every bit of strength I had to try and not to bite her, her arousal was so strong, that combined with her scent, was so enticing. Once I pulled down her bikini bottom, down her legs and threw it on the floor. Her arousal was even stronger and more enticing. I trailed kisses all along her body from her stomach to her entrance, sticking my tongue in her entrance. I licked back and forth from her entrance to her clit. When I placed myself hovering over her again, she took the opportunity to grab me so hard, I felt like I couldn't wait any longer.
"Bella," I groaned. I needed to tell her that I couldn't hold on any longer, that I was worried about hurting her, she only responded by putting her finger to my lips.
"It's okay," she responded with too much understanding, "I trust you."
Before I could protest, she crashed her lips onto my own and that was all it took. I ripped of my swim trunks and placed myself at her entrance. When I pushed myself into her tight entrance, it was like dipping into warm silk. She was extremely tight, but I could feel her adjusting herself to my size. We began grinding each other, our movements were rocking the bed back and forth, I thought it would break at any moment.
"Edward!" she screamed.
Bella then tightened her legs around my waist, pulling me in deeper, and then tightened her legs pulling me closer to her, wrapping her arms around me even tighter so I would push harder into her. I thought for a second I would split her in half.
Out of nowhere, her arousal and her unusual scent slammed into me all at once. Then I smelled a small drop of blood, and the scent was too much. I knew she would bleed; she was a virgin, from my years at medical school, when a woman has sex for the first time, they tend to bleed. The smell made me begin to feel like a wild animal and every emotion I always kept in check started to erupt from me. I gripped her thighs tightly, and kissed her hard as we continued grind against each other. My arms were tightening around her hips, all I could feel was something wanted to erupt from my soul. I placed my hands on the headboard and tore about two chunks worth out of it.
I was feeling the urge to bite her neck, so I then buried my face into a pillow and bit down hard. Feathers begun flying everywhere, but Bella did not notice, she was too wrapped up in being pleased. When we finished, Bella rested her head against my chest, as her breathing was going back to a normal pace.
"I love you," she whispered half asleep.
"I love you too," I replied as I watched Bella's eyes droop until she was fast asleep. I stroked my fingers through her hair as she slept. One of the joys I got before admitting my feelings towards her. From the moment I saw her in the cafeteria in Forks, there was something about her, she did not shun away from us like other humans have in the past, what was different about us piqued her interest in us even more. If she hadn't been talking to the mutt about the Quileute legends, she would have never figured it out.
That's why on her birthday when Jasper nearly attacked her, I made the painful decision to leave her. When I first realized what she meant to me, after I saw that vision Alice had, I knew I only had a few choices. My first choice was to leave her, pretend she never existed, but neither of us could stay away from each other. Another option I had was to leave her, because it wasn't fair for me to ask her to waste her human years with someone who couldn't be with her that plan did not work out one bit, it ended up with me being so miserable without her I nearly got myself killed from the Volturi while Bella jumped off a cliff. When the Volturi said that she must be changed. When we returned to Forks, Bella and my family all took a vote, Rosalie and I voted for her to remain human, but Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme voted yes. Carlisle told me that when I chose to live without her, he could not bear to see me in so much pain. Then when he found out I had gone to Volterra, he was so devastated, Carlisle didn't think I would be in so much pain to go to Aro and ask for a death wish. Esme was another story, she loved all of us like her children, but when she thought I had truly died, that's what changed her mind about Bella remaining human. Alice loved Bella and already practically thought of her as her own sister, and didn't mind her being changed. Emmett and Jasper didn't really care for much, even if we didn't change her before Aro came to check on the status of her immortality, they both would be very excited to pick a fight.
When the sun began to rise and was shining through the window, when I looked down at Bella I froze. I noticed she had some purple spots forming on her arms, legs and hips, turning into a hideous color. And they weren't just any spots... they were bruises. Looking at all those marks on her body, made me realize, that I truly was a monster. I am a monster for agreeing to this and I knew that I would never look at myself the same.