-1AN. This is my third story and this ones a one-shot so its complete!
Warning: Its sasunaru yaoi (boy x boy) so if you don't like that kind of thing then don't read it.
Mentions Mpreg so again if your uncomfortable with that please don't read it.
Includes character death and depression.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the Naruto cast, if I did almost every male character would be gay and Sakura would probably be dead, and Naruto depressed. I do own Kyoshi though so you cant have him!
Enjoy!
Until it's Gone
It's cold.
I look up at the dull, white tiles that litter the wall, many are cracked and broken.
I look back down to the cold blade resting on the palm of my hand.
I sigh.
I'm tired.
I haven't slept properly for what feels like forever. It's probably more like a few weeks.
Kami, how does Gaara stay awake so damn long!
Its not that I cant sleep.
I just don't want to.
Every time I close my eyes I see his face.
Silky black hair.
Perfect pale skin.
Cold angry eyes.
Superior smirk.
I see him.
Hugging me…
Kissing me…
Telling me he loves me…
Screaming at me…
Leaving me.
Again.
Permanently.
You see he has to revive his clan, I'd help but I'm a guy and that would usually mean I'm pretty useless to him. Normally.
I'm not normal though.
Not thanks to Kyuubi anyway.
Needless to say he didn't believe me.
But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Kyuubi.
Yeah that's right.
I'm the villages resident demon vessel.
Uzumaki Naruto.
Or as the villages so affectionately named me, 'Demon Brat'.
Their all fools.
I cant believe I used to want to protect those ungrateful idiots.
I know, used to, past tense, I gave up, no more outbursts of "I will be hokage, believe it!"
I'm not an idiot.
They don't want me to do the job and I don't want to do it.
End of story.
I wish.
I know I sound bitter, but this village and its delightful residents have made my life hell since before I could walk, let alone defend myself.
And they still make it hell.
And their going to continue to do so until I die.
Not long left then.
But I'm getting distracted again.
I really have some concentration issues.
It the least of my worries, believe me.
I sigh again.
Oh man, I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm just so miserable.
It's eating me inside.
I'm lonely.
Tsunade is busy being Hokage.
Jiraiya is busy being a pervert whilst 'researching' for his next book.
Sakura's chief of staff at the hospital now and she's got Lee and their twins.
Iruka finally got together with Kakashi two years ago and now they spend all their time together or with their adopted son.
I cant help but feel replaced, I always felt Iruka was a father figure to me.
Kakashi just never cared.
Sasuke… well we're not on good terms right now.
The rest of the 'Konoha 12' aren't close to me anymore.
don't get me wrong, they see each other all the time, somehow I'm not included anymore.
I wonder when that happened.
They all have their own lives now.
Nobody has time for me.
I'm alone.
Almost, there's still Kyoshi but he doesn't make good conversation.
I'm getting sidetracked.
I've always hated being alone.
So it makes sense I'm a little depressed right now.
I know I sound really self-absorbed and like I'm overreacting.
I'm not.
Trust me.
Just look at my last birthday in Konoha.
Since the Kyuubi festival is held on my birthday, we always celebrated the day before, ever since I was twelve.
It was tradition.
Now it's a broken tradition.
This year everyone was busy.
Tsunade wanted to do last minute festival preparations, meaning she 'inspected' the sake and got smashed.
This really hurt. She's like my mother/older sister figure in my life. And she didn't just not celebrate with me, she forgot.
It hurt.
Jiraiya I wasn't surprised about, he's missed birthdays before, but normally he at least sends a card or a scroll or something, but this year even he forgot.
There goes the perverted uncle figure from my life.
The rest of the 'great Konoha twelve' were also busy.
The 'great' part was sarcastic.
There's nothing that great anymore, half of them are on leave to spend their children's early life at home with them.
And the other half just aren't that impressive.
Their all one happy family.
And I'm not part of it.
I cant really blame them for being happy.
They do have family's to look after.
But I'm still bitter, because deep down I've always known that I'll never have that.
I'll never have a family the like they have.
I have been alone my entire life and I don't know why I ever expected that to change.
And now I know it never will.
And I've accepted it.
Where was I?
Oh yeah.
My 21st birthday.
Well, one person did spend my birthday with me.
He wasn't exactly thrilled about taking time away from training though, and he let me know it.
The meal was bitter and awkward.
The conversation barley more than 'hn' and various glares and grunts.
The sex afterwards was rough and hurt.
He didn't even wish me happy birthday.
Let alone tell me he loved me the way he used to.
I wished myself a happy 21st Birthday.
He still wants to kill his brother.
I sometimes wish I had as much of his attention as his brother.
His brother is his life.
His goal.
His revenge.
I'm just a passing faze.
A temporary arrangement.
An unnecessary extra.
I hate him.
No, not Itachi.
Sasuke.
I used to think I loved him.
I changed my mind about six years ago.
I realised that we were too different.
Whoever said 'opposites attract' never mentioned a long-term plan.
Just attraction.
Now even that's fading.
Sure he is handsome, but now the image is scared by the violent treatment I receive.
The cold glares that tell me I'm only an annoyance.
But I tried to make it work a little longer.
It was the biggest mistake of my life.
A month after deciding to fix things for a little longer Kyuubi gave me some news.
It wasn't life threatening but it was shocking.
I found myself pregnant with the new Uchiha heir.
I went through the pregnancy alone.
I didn't show much until the eighth month and baggy clothes hid what I didn't want anyone to know.
I never told anyone.
Not even Tsunade.
I don't feel able to trust Konoha.
They've caused too much pain.
Especially Sasuke.
I couldn't tell him.
It may sound heartless and I was considering telling him during the fifth month.
That was when I found out his most recent secret was.
Or should I say I found out who it was.
I had the joy of walking in on him with his most recent secret.
On our bed.
In our apartment.
Need I say more?
I wasn't exactly happy about being cheated on.
I moved out.
He didn't complain. Much.
But I'm guilty too.
The other main reason I never told him was because it would most likely result of mine and my child's deaths at his hands.
You see, he wasn't exactly the father. Well other father anyway.
It happened to be someone he hates.
Someone who he wants to kill.
Someone I happened to meet drunk in a bar when Kyuubi went into heat.
Long story short.
The one being I care about would die.
Obviously I wasn't going to tell him.
So I didn't.
Four months later Kyoshi was born.
My son.
And the only Uchiha heir should Sasuke or his brother die.
Too bad neither of them knows about him.
I was pretty badly hurt after the birth but Kyuubi had me healed in a week.
That's when I made the biggest decision of my life.
I decided to leave Konoha.
It caused uproar.
Sure, they ignore me when I'm there.
They don't notice when I carry my son and few belongings over their giant wall.
But they do notice I'm gone once someone wants to beat me up and cant find me.
By then I was long gone.
I left clones under genjutsu to inform me of activity in the village.
I'm not as dumb as they think.
Stealth is my speciality, how else would I have pulled those pranks in my childhood?
Tsunade sent teams after me.
I avoided every one with ease.
They never found me.
I was safe.
Kyoshi was safe.
We lived happily in wave.
Tsunami, Inari and the old drunkard Tazuna gave me a home.
My life went well and Kyoshi had a happy childhood.
He's five now.
He's a genius as well.
Only since he lives outside Konoha there's no pressure on him.
I train him myself.
I told him about Konoha and he seemed interested, but he didn't wish to visit.
I was proud, he understood all I told him and judged it fairly.
I realised I was a bit biased earlier in my life.
Tsunami helped me with the depression I suffered.
Amazing what a little care can do for a person.
Life was going well.
Then with one action it all came crashing down.
'knock …knock …knock…'
"I'll get it!"
"Kyoshi slow down!"
"hello?"
"Hello, is Naruto here? Tell him an old acquaintance wishes to see him again"
"no way, first you gotta tell me your name!"
"fine, my name is …."
AN.
The suspense!
I wanted to try writing this in a different style, I hope it reads okay.
So who's at the door?!
I'm torn between three characters so if you have a suggestion please leave a review.
All review and criticism are welcome. So are suggestions for further on.
Please review!