Disclaimer: Sadly, I'm not J.K Rowling, so, not mine.

Enjoy

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Chapter One

Sirius was struggling to concentrate on what James was saying. Now, this could have been because what James was saying - something about how pretty Evans' hair looked in the dim light of the common room fire - was starting to get old, seeing as the very same thing had been mentioned almost every night for over two years. However the real reason why Sirius couldn't concentrate on James was because his other best friend was curled up in the next armchair, having nodded off to sleep whilst reading a book. This boy, the intellectual component of the Marauders, was Remus Lupin and for the past month Sirius couldn't seem to keep his eyes off him.

At this particular moment - a chilly evening in early October of their fourth year - Sirius was distracted by the way Remus' school shirt had come slightly un-tucked from his trousers and was revealing the tiniest amount of skin on Remus' hip. This fact had bought Sirius to realise that in all the time they had known each other, Sirius had never seen any part of Remus' body other than head and hands, whereas he had seen both his other best friends practically in the nude. That was the difference between them; Sirius, James and Peter had always been completely comfortable strutting around the dorm in just their underwear, however Remus had always kept himself completely covered. Sirius knew this was because he was self-conscious of his scars that were left by his transformations into a raging wolf once a month but he also couldn't really fathom why they'd be worse to look at than Peter's worrying amount of flab, which had gotten consistently worse over the years.

Sirius could pretend he was only interested for this reason but that would be a complete and utter lie. For at least a month now- if he was truly honest with himself it would probably be longer - Sirius had been noticing a lot more about Remus than was really acceptable to notice about one's best friend. For example he had noticed how Remus' slightly too long fringe would always manage to fall into his face when he was leaning over an essay or a book, and how Remus was constantly having to push it back just for it to fall down again a minute later. Sirius had also realised how much he enjoyed seeing Remus laugh or smile, which - to Sirius' great happiness - was mostly conjured by himself. Something else that made Sirius' heart sing was the way that after a full moon - when Remus was lying injured in his private room of the hospital wing - only he was allowed anywhere near Remus and the others would have to watch from afar until Sirius could bring Remus back into a coherent state of mind.

In short, Sirius was starting to think about his friend in a completely new way. A new way that terrified him to no end.

Sirius had never fancied a girl before, like James and Peter had, but he had always expected it to happen to him sooner or later. Alas, now he suspected the reason why he had never fancied a girl before, maybe he fancied boys. This was a terrifying thought; being homosexual in the wizarding world was beyond bad, especially if - like himself - you were from an old pureblood family. It was rarely talked about or acknowledged but Sirius knew the horrific things that we're done to people who were even suspected of being gay. So, naturally, he'd been denying his thoughts for a long time - longer than he realised - but now it seemed he must accept them for what they really were as he could not stop thinking about what the rest of Remus' body might look like and how it feel under his very own fingers.

He knew he could never tell anyone; it would be disastrous to not only his safety - and probably Remus' even though he could never share Sirius' feelings - but mainly, it would ruin their friendship. Sirius was terrified of losing Remus, he needed him, they needed each other, and so Sirius was resigned to just watching from afar and enjoying his thoughts and dreams late at night when he was all alone in his four poster bed in the dormitory.

Since he'd started realising his feelings Sirius'd had a number of dreams, some good, namely the ones where he and Remus ended up kissing, and some bad, often involving Remus being disgusted and never talking to him again. Sirius enjoyed the good ones immensely and he often woke from them somewhat aroused. He would feel ridiculously happy for a moment; would then remember that the dream's events would never take shape in real life and finally, would sink into a depression only Remus - with his beautiful smile and wonderful listening skills - seemed to have the ability to bring him out of.

His relationship with Remus was completely different from his relationship with James or Peter. With James and Peter he would discuss pranks, quidditch and girls. Although he had no real interest in the latter, this is what his friends thought about. However with Remus, they would talk about everything and anything; full moons; Remus' family; school work; feelings; and most recently Sirius' family. Remus was the only person he ever talked about his family with. This was because Remus knew how important they were to Sirius; even though Sirius hated their beliefs they were still his family and they were all he really had outside of Hogwarts. He had told Remus how his family had kept him locked in his room all this previous summer because they were worried about who he would contact. He had also told Remus how much he loved and missed his little brother. Since Regulus had come to Hogwarts and been sorted into Slytherin, the previously close brothers had drifted apart to the point where they fought against each other. Remus had listened to all of this and comforted Sirius in a way he had no idea was possible and he had come away happy and, now it seemed, in love.

"Sirius! Are you even listening to what I'm saying?" James' irritated voice broke through Sirius thoughts. Sirius managed not to jump half a mile and instead stayed calm and replied easily.

"Course mate, what do you take me for?"

"Well, at the moment I take you for a guy whose been spending an awful amount of time not paying attention to his best friend!" James said indignantly whilst waving his arms about in an attempt to further his point.

"Okay, I'm sorry Jamsie, can you ever forgive me?" Sirius decided to employ his infamous puppy dog eyes to steer James away from finding out the real reason why he wasn't paying attention. It seemed to work as at that moment James cuffed him on the ear and resumed their previous conversation.

"So, as I was saying before you lost interest, what are we going to do for our Halloween prank this year? Any ideas?" James' eyes had taken on the particular gleam that was always associated with pranking.

"I have a few, yes, but shouldn't we be talking about this in private when Pete and Remus are around?"

"I guess so, but I don't want to drag Remus away from his much needed nap or Pete away from his potential girlfriend." Sirius looked around at Peter and saw that he was indeed talking to a girl and for once she seemed to be enjoying his conversation.

"It would be too cruel of us to take him away from his only chance at a snog. And you're right about Rem, he seriously needs his sleep." Sirius took the opportunity to take another look over at Remus and he looked so vulnerable - sleeping curled up in the armchair with a book in his lap - that a thought popped into Sirius' head. He leant forward so no one would hear what he said to James. "How about we use this time to work on our transformations?"

"Good idea let's go." James' face had lit up at the thought of being able to work on their animagus transformations without Peter as a hindrance.

They had started work on the animagus transformations a year ago after their first Transfiguration lesson on the subject; when they had researched it they had found out that werewolves do not harm animals and animals can often soothe the wolf and stop it from hurting itself or anyone else. As soon as they knew this piece of information they had set to work straight away so that they could keep Remus company on full moon nights.

Now, over a year later, they were slowly starting to make some real progress in deciphering spells and potions they would need to help them towards their first full transformation.

When they reached the dormitory they gathered all their textbooks and notebooks and started working. They stayed practically silent for the next few hours before they decided that they had made lots of progress and that they should get some sleep.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed it.

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