Neck to Neck
By Lana Atkins
Chapter 1: Mousse
It was your everyday lunch hour at the Cat Café. Customers flocked in, mainly male ones, and sat themselves at the tables, waiting to be served by the busty and ever-popular Chinese waitress Shampoo. The Café had become even more crowded lately, as it was summer, and people just wanted a nice, cool place to relax in while slurping up delicious ramen in steaming bowlfuls.
Mousse wished he had that kind of luxury.
He was in the kitchen, cleaning up the spilt contents of a bowl that he had mistakenly placed on top of what he had thought was a tray, but was really the edge of the kitchen sink. It had earned him a hard knock from the staff of the old bat, a mop and a bucket. He grumbled as he finished mopping the floor for the hundredth time, as cleanliness was the policy in the Cat Café, as the elder never failed to remind him.
He finally decided that the spot was shiny enough, and slumped, exhausted, on the small stool beside the doorway. He'd been working from the wee hours of the morning getting the place tidied up for the customers while everyone else had slept on. He wiped his calloused hands on the side of his work robe, trying to get the stench of the floor cleaner off them, then ran a hand through his hair, which was drenched in sweat. He laid his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. If the old ghoul caught him slacking off, he'd be in hot soup, but he was too tired to care.
He sometimes wondered why he'd reduced himself to this, why he'd let himself be walked over like some kind of doormat, why he slogged all day in a place owned by an elder who didn't give him any proper respect at all. What kind of life was that?
"Nihao!"
He turned his head towards the entrance of the doorway and opened his eyes. And he knew that everything he was going through was well worth it.
Shampoo smiled brightly at another drooling teenage customer and gestured him to a table, sashaying her slim hips while hurrying to grab her notebook from the counter. She talked cheerfully with the boy for a few minutes and laughed at something he said before taking his order. Her brilliant purple hair flipped over her shoulder and bounced as she walked briskly to the counter. Mousse sighed quietly.
She's so beautiful. If only she'd smile like that for me..
But as soon as Shampoo approached the doorway of the kitchen and set her eyes on Mousse, the smile disappeared.
"Stop daydreaming, Duck-Boy. You've got work to do," she said in fluent Chinese before throwing her notebook onto his tired lap.
And Mousse was back to the real world.
He got up reluctantly, looked at her neat handwriting and set about making the order. He was almost finished when he heard her say,
"Nihao.. Ranma! You come to see Shampoo? I so happy!"
"Er.. yo. Akane's been experimenting with her cooking again, so I thought I'd drop by.. H-hey, would you stop holding on to me so tight? Cut that out!!"
Mousse heart burned with anger and his already short-sighted eyes became even fuzzier with rage.
Saotome.
He dropped what he was doing and dashed outside to a scene that angered him more than words could say, and at the same time, ripped his heart to shreds.
Shampoo was glomping a very flustered, blushing Ranma, who was protesting vehemently and obviously trying to wriggle out of her iron grasp, but Mousse was too angry to notice that.
He started towards the couple, wishing his eyes could burn several holes in the rotten three-timer's body, his faithful hidden weapons emerging under the sleeves of his robe, like it always did when he had to witness such a scene. It was like every inch of his body of his body was on fire, and sheer adrenaline put one tired foot in front of the other. It was a feeling he had gotten used to, a sensation he was unable to control, and he relished the idea of smashing Ranma's teeth back into his throat.
But to his own surprise, he felt his anger take a nosedive. His body reached normal temperature again, and he was seized by a sudden weariness he'd never felt before. This weariness wasn't just physical, however.
Mousse bowed his head and went back into the kitchen where he bent his head over the sink.
What good would it do?
He'd done the same thing over and over again whenever he'd caught them hugging. He'd get angry and start attacking Ranma, to which Ranma would either beat him to a pulp or Shampoo'd punt him into the next world. It had become almost a routine for them, but somehow, no matter how many times it happened, it never stopped him interfering the next time.
Until now.
He was tired. Tired of the same thing happening to him again and again, day in and day out. What was the point? It had never gotten him anywhere in his relationship with Shampoo.
What relationship? He thought bitterly. Saotome. Always butting in and playing with her heart. Why can't she just wake up and realize that I'm the only one here who truly cares about her?
"RANMA!!"
Mousse heard another voice, an angry one, and recognized it immediately, because it was followed by the sound of the roof breaking and the thud of a body hitting the pavement outside the Cat Café.
I don't have the faintest why Akane stuck by the lame excuse for a fiancé that long. If it were me, I'd have dumped the lowlife ages ago.
The answer came to him as easily as the question did.
Ranma and Akane loved each other. It was as simple as that. They still fought, just like they always had, but after the incident with Saffron and the failed wedding, it was crystal clear to everyone, even his beloved Shampoo, that even though they'd never admit it, they harbored deep feelings for each other. Mousse had bad eyesight, but he wasn't blind. Not much, anyway.
He knew that the only reason his fair Shampoo and the other girls still wouldn't give Ranma up was because they still thought they stood a chance. After all, the stubborn twosome still refused to admit their true feelings to one another. Mousse shook his head in frustration. He still couldn't believe that after all the two had been through together, they still never acknowledged themselves as a couple, even after their parents had tried every trick in the book to get them together.
Some of them had almost succeeded, actually..
Mousse stroked his chin thoughtfully.
Maybe they're on to something. Maybe all those two need is a bit of an extra push..
A light bulb illuminated brightly above his head. Mousse snapped his fingers, his eyes filled with new determination.
It was that easy. Get Ranma together with Akane, and he'd no longer have a problem. But how..?
He blinked for a moment, before laughing quietly at himself.
That isn't even an issue. The old ghoul's got loads of ancient love devices in that attic of hers. All I need to do is steal that door key, and all that crap's mine for the borrowing. Then with a little help from their dads..
He turned around and stole a look at Akane, who was dragging Ranma off, presumably back home to feed him her 'culinary creations', aka the scary looking things she presented at the dinner table occasionally. He grinned.
Shampoo is all but mine.
He grabbed a plate off the pile of dirty dishes from the side of the sink and started washing it, whistling happily.
A/N:
I'm ba-ack.
Well, the idea for this story came to me yesterday evening, so I immediately penned it down. Initially I intended for it to be a oneshot, as I'm not really what you'd call a "long-term" writer, or someone who does chapters and can write with the inspiration simply flowing down from Heaven. But as you can see, chapters. I hope I do justice to this first chapter and hope you'll not be dissapointed in the chapters to come.
Yes, Moouse has a plan. But whether that plan works or not, you'll just have to see..