Well hey there everybody! The old story was deleted by some admin of FF, so I took the opportunity to freshen up the story a bit! It's been re-worked by my new beta-reader, Sifl-senpai, and might I say she did a bang-up job of it! I also contributed some edits, but Sifl helped me so much and I really must thank Sifl for her dedication and hard work. So thank you! And thank you to all of you readers, too. ;) Alright, anyway, I hope you all enjoy the new version! :D
This is a Jade's Reverse Harem fic. You've been warned. XD Who's your favorite pair to win?
DISCLAIMER: Oh gosh, do you really think I'd be writing fanfiction of these lovely characters if I had anything to do with the actual comic? No. And you know why? Because if I had it my way, Jade would get a lot more character development and I'd be so busy with that that I wouldn't have time for fanfiction. Lollerskates.
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The first thing she noticed was that she was lying on something soft and pliable. Her head was elevated and she couldn't help but be reminded of those picnic days she and her grandfather used to have when he was alive- the peaceful days when she would use Bec as a pillow while they all watched the sun set over the ocean. The rest of her body agreed with her head as the patch of very fluffy grass underneath her was reminiscent of her childhood as well.
Then she could hear murmuring and quiet background noises- though only, it seemed, through one ear. A voice wormed its way into her semi-woozy senses.
"Jade. Jade. Come on, please wake up, Jade. You're breathing, you're breathing, you've gotta be conscious. Please wake up..." The voice grew a little more aggravated. "Bitch, wake up!"
Something rough papped her face and slid down to her neck, resting on the slow, but steady, pulse that beat there. She could also feel a slight weight on her stomach.
The voice, definitely male, was insistent and obnoxious, but gentleness and concern crept into it. "Don't die on me. Jade. You're breathing. You're alive in there. Come on..."
The fingers on her throat left and again touched her face, gently caressing it.
"Jade. Jade."
The boy's voice was progressively getting scratchier and weaker as he smoothed his hands down her hair, stroking her long black mane.
"Oh my gog. Oh my gog. Jade. Jade," He continued to repeat her name like a mantra, each word quieter than the last. Perhaps he was trying to keep himself from going into hysterics. Jade wanted to open her eyes and comfort him, to tell him she was alright, but she couldn't quite make herself speak up. She felt so tired. And his hands gently running through her hair weren't helping- they felt nice and were making her even drowsier.
"Fuck it. Fuck it all," he whimpered, and ceased stroking her hair. Jade could hear quiet sniffles and a slurping noise, which may have been the boy wiping his nose and eyes on his sleeve.
A new voice, mellow and deep and sweet, fell into Jade's ears.
"Aw, she's just all up on sleeping. Bet she's having some motherfuckin' kicking wicked dreams."
This new voice, so relaxed and soft, floated down from directly above her head. Not too close, though, as Jade couldn't feel the speaker's breath, but a few feet above her, hovering contentedly.
The first figure's tones grew more abrasive again, instead of remaining the mournful hush they had been. "How long has she been 'kicking wicked dreams', fuckass? A day? Two days? How about a whole fucking week? Gog damn it!"
"Calm your bone bulge, bro. I wouldn't be knowing all in that motherfucking bitch shit. Let it be. Nature's inside her, taking its course."
"Gamzee, we can't fucking afford to let "Nature take its course" with her any longer! Sollux already determined that she's deaf in one ear, and that she... well..."
Here there was another slurping noise, and Jade figured she'd heard enough. What was all this business about her being deaf in one ear? That couldn't be true...
She drudged up all of her energy and opened her eyes a bit. And gasped.
Right above her was one of the strangest looking creatures she'd ever seen. And she'd seen a lot of strange looking creatures in her time.
As soon as she'd drawn in that big gulp of air, the creature's chin tipped down to look at her, too. His eyes, a dark, gooey yellow color, brightened and his already-present grin, trimmed tidily with large fangs, widened.
"Well, hello. How the motherfuck was your dreaming being all up in your head?"
There was a moment of silence and Jade knew that the other boy, or... creature, was frozen in shock, staring at her.
She opened her mouth to speak, but only odd sounds came out instead. She then tried to sit up, but a sudden, calloused hand on her chest firmly pressed her down. She started to protest and question why she was being held down, but a second later her questions were quelled by the unbelievable ache in her brain. Her head began to pound and she clutched it, tried to shout out profanities, but again only babbling spewed forth.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa there little sister. Don't go to motherfucking sit up on us 'cause you'll get to hurting yourself and then Karkat my bro would be all motherfucking displeased by that shit. Right, best bro?"
Jade's eyes widened. She recognized that name, Karkat. Or she thought she did. Her thinking process seemed all jumbled up. Her brain felt foggy. She frowned.
"Right. Jade, can you hear me? Turn to your left if you can hear me."
She somehow did the exact opposite and turned to her right, where a big wall of black greeted her. Strange.
"Your other left, stupid. Come on." His voice sounded a bit muffled. What was that about her being deaf?
She ignored his commands and instead raised both of her hands to the wall of black blocking her view. When her hands touched the wall, it moved backward a bit and she thought she heard giggling from the creature above her. She experimentally moved her hands over the soft, wrinkled wall and more giggling could be heard.
"Oh my gog, Jade. Stop that. This is getting less done than when you were fucking sleeping."
"Aw, don't harsh her little hands, my motherfucking brother. She's on and walking all over my t-shirt. It's playing motherfucking fine."
Oh, so she was just feeling fabric from the nonchalant creature's t-shirt. This made sense- through that soft black cloth, Jade could feel hardened muscle- probably the creature's abdomen or something. That would explain why he was giggling. Her stomach was ticklish too.
Jade smiled in satisfaction now that she knew what this black wall was. She turned her head in the other direction, to where the other, shorter-tempered "Karkat" sat.
He was arguing rather one-sidedly with his calm companion. While his attention was elsewhere, Jade decided to observe him.
He was sitting on his knees so close to her that if she moved her head forward a few inches, she could probably touch the tip of her nose to his patella. Not that she was going to try that, though. He seemed a little too riled up for such antics.
He was wearing dark grey pants and a black long-sleeved t-shirt. She couldn't tell if he had shoes on or not, since his legs were tucked underneath him, but she imagined that the feet within them were bony and thin. She was surprised that she could recognize the grey symbol stitched onto his shirt, the astrological sign for Cancer. The t-shirt looked a bit loose on his frame even though it was obviously a small size itself. She allowed her thoughts to wander to his calorie intake before she focused on his face.
He had the same darkish yellow eyes with black pupils that Gamzee had, and a wide mouth full of what looked to be small, but sharp, canine teeth. His lips were chapped and black, contrasting a bit with the dry grey skin of his face, neck and (Jade noted his angrily flailing arms) hands. There were dark circles under his eyes, and though his face was contorted in building anger at the moment, she could spy many worry lines that were definitely permanent. Too many lines for one who looked so young. Her eyes traveled farther up his head.
His black hair was very unkempt; some of it stuck straight up in weird curls, though it was pretty short. And, did her eyes deceive her? She thought she saw nubby golden horns poking out of the raven mess.
Just as she willed herself to focus harder on those horns, Karkat happened to glance at her and saw she had her full attention on him. He stopped talking to Gamzee. His face relaxed and a small smile graced his mouth. Some of the worry lines erased themselves in that one smile.
His tone didn't grow any friendlier, though. "So. Now that you've finally decided to pay attention, I guess it's time to explain some things."
Jade narrowed her eyes at him. Explain some things? He'd better fucking explain all the things. She was about to say this when he shooshed her by shaking his head. Gamzee put four of his fingers to her lips.
"Now you're just being stubborn. You know that you can't speak properly. We- and er, by we I mean... well, you can be introduced to the group later- we figured there was some damage to your brain. Sollux, the resident smart-ass, deduced that you would have a major problem in the language centers of your brain. Don't frown at me like that! We don't think it's permanent... hopefully. Don't fucking worry."
She raised her eyebrows. He was the one who needed to be told not to worry.
"Now, you're probably wondering where the fuck you are. And how long you've been asleep since we've been awake. And where your human friends are. So listen carefully: I'm going to say all of this very slowly and clearly, so that you get it all down. Ready?"
Jade nodded. She was all set to hear what he had to say, even if he did keep that superior attitude.
Karkat visibly swallowed and continued. "We think... we think we're on Earth."
Jade brightened. She would have exclaimed great relief at the news, but she knew she couldn't communicate without garbling her message. That, and Gamzee's hand still covered her mouth.
"The problem is, we're in kind of a weird time on Earth."
Jade's eyebrows rose higher.
"Yeah, we're kind of in that time on your planet when it was in its very early developmental stages. You know when you studied all that shit about the first... what was it? Mammaries and stuff? Yeah, pretty sure mammaries is the right word. Well, we're in that time frame. At least, that's what Dave told everyone. Fucker could be pulling stuff straight out of his ass."
Jade's eyes widened. As her brain processed this information, starting first with replacing the word 'mammaries' with 'mammals', she became increasingly frightened by the idea that she was in a time period when very dangerous things still roamed the earth. Giant, flesh-eating fauna; giant, poisonous flora. And were there dinosaurs? Shit. There were probably dinosaurs.
Gamzee must have perceived her growing distress, because she felt his other hand, the hand not pressed against her mouth, begin to stroke her hair, trying to ease her. It worked, to an extent. But she found herself wishing that Dave were soothing her instead.
Dave! That's right, Dave was alive! Karkat had said so!
Despite Gamzee's hand over her mouth, she babbled out her excitement about Dave. Karkat stared at her uncomprehendingly. Jade sensed that Gamzee didn't care that she was spewing nonsense through his fingers. The guy just kept smoothing down her hair, probably still grinning that easy grin.
"Uh, anyway... I'm going to keep talking, so if you want to actually hear what the fuckall important shit I have to say, you'll wise up and shut up."
Jade nodded her assent, quieting herself. She relaxed and began to enjoy Gamzee's petting more.
"So, as far as we can tell, you've been out for about seven days. I think Equius- you'll meet him later- woke up first and then, by degrees, all of us woke up. The last one was you."
There was some hesitation, some odd mixture of sorrow and fury in his tone, but Jade dismissed that. She was impatient to know more. What had caused her to be asleep for seven whole days?
"A few members of our group, the Alternian group, have died. Most were in comas before the crash anyway and died on impact."
There had been a crash? She tried to remember anything about a crash that had taken place. Unfortunately, her mind couldn't come up with anything. What, did she have amnesia too?
Jade studied the troll in front of her. She read scores of emotions on Karkat's face. But one stood out to her the most. Terrible, irrevocable sadness. Her heart clenched and she felt a strong surge of empathy. Someone very important to him must've died.
"And one person from your group died too. Rose LaLonde."
It felt like a hard blow to the stomach. Those two sentences hit her with such force that she gasped and shook for several minutes. Tears started to sting her vision and she let them run freely down her face. She couldn't move around very much, but she could feel her fists clenching and unclenching, her nails digging into her palms so deeply that she punctured her skin and the holes started to bleed. She pounded her legs into the springy grass and raised her fists to hit herself in the head. But in a flash, Gamzee took hold of both of her wrists, arresting her movements as if he knew what she was going to do. Someone else, not Karkat though, grabbed her legs and pinned them down.
She screamed and sobbed for a long time. Eventually, though, Jade ran out of tears and her throat was sore; she became tired and went limp. Gamzee continued to hold her arms and the other person was still sitting on her legs. She let them.
Karkat had a weary, pained expression on his face when he asked her soberly if he could continue. She took a deep, shuddering breath and gave the tiniest nod. That little dip of her chin sent ripples of pain through her head, but she kept her face composed. Though her cheeks were streaked with tears and her head was sore and her eyes were red and puffy from crying, she knew there was more to this sad adventure and she needed to hear it all.
"Right. Well, the others in your party are safe. No real harm done to them..." He trailed off, and Jade suspected he was hiding some further horrible information by the way he bit his lip and avoided her eyes.
He changed the subject. "Anyway, the point is, the rest of us are okay. We've managed to stay alive for a week in this time and location, and we're even trying to figure out how to transport ourselves into the future when human civilization is actually around and totally fucking fantastic. Sollux and I are working on that. It's coming along... pretty fucking slowly, but we're gonna keep at it. Yeah. And, um, Equius has built a small village, basically, and he's been hunting shit down for food. Well, I mean, it's not shitty food, it's meat and crap... er, anyway, we have food. And water, and shelter."
Karkat paused to give her a smile, but she felt so enervated and sick and sad that she just couldn't give him one back. So his mouth went back to its default position, while he continued filling her in on all that had been going on.
"And Gamzee, my moirail, has been taking care of you. He's been keeping you hydrated and fed and clean..." Karkat's monologue went on, but Jade's mind couldn't keep up. She was glad that the Alternian 'trolls' knew what to do in such a shitty situation as this, but she was still reeling over the fact that one of her best friends was dead.
She let her eyes wander with her thoughts until they stopped on Gamzee's form above her.
Oh. Jade suddenly realized that her head had been lying in his lap all along. Had this humanoid really been her caretaker over the past two days? Well, she didn't feel all that hungry, or thirsty, or dirty. He must have found a way to feed and hydrate her somehow. And give her baths? Uh... wait a minute.
Jade could feel her face heat up. Good god. This Gamzee... this male troll had probably seen her naked. Oh nooooo.
Meanwhile, Karkat kept blabbering. "And this is Tavros. He was kindly holding your fucking ungrateful legs down so that... um..." Karkat ceased speaking for a moment, having noticed Jade's rather prominent blush. "Er..."
"W-what's wrong?" A new voice inquired. It was quiet and extremely timid, so Jade didn't even note it until Karkat answered it.
"I dunno. Hey, do you think Sollux could read her thoughts? I mean, is that one of the things he can do?"
"M-maybe," the new voice stuttered. "D-do you want, uh, me to, um, get him?"
"Yes, and hurry."
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So, I hope you liked the revised version! Next chapter is arriving tomorrow or the day after that, hopefully. Gosh, summer is such a busy time, isn't it?
Rose, I'm sorry I killed you. But if I hadn't, you would've been all over Kanaya and Dave. Cock-blocking Jade isn't cool, man.
The Five Rules For An "Adam and Eve" Story
By White*Knight (with help from Blue_Carriage_House)
1. There must be at least one 'Adam' and one 'Eve'
2. There is a 'Garden of Eden'
3. There is no other intelligent life around/ They're on their own
4. They're trying to get back home/ to a time period when there is organized society
5. Sex must occur
Thanks for reading! Please review, too. :)