A/N: This was a product of a Free Company (Guild, linkshell, you get the idea) chat gone horribly, terribly wrong. Basically, I made the off color comment that I really wish someone would take Kan-E-Senna and pin her to a desk and just wreck her…that particular rant was in relation to her being as stiff as her staff half the time…and plenty of other innuendos that go on in my guild.
When someone asked "which desk" I jokingly said something along the lines of it being Merlwyb for all that I care…needless to say, it snowballed, GREATLY, into what has to be the most inherently wrong conversation of all time…but, that's what inspired this…
Anyway, that has been a run on joke for over a year now...granted, this is nowhere near as wrong as our conversation, but I dare not type any of that out…instead, I gift you a fluff piece…if only because there are just some things that are best kept among guildies.
Oh, by the way, if you happen to play Final Fantasy: ARR, look me up on the Phoenix server…my name is "Kernook Suri" and I play a DRG.
Anyway, on with the fiction!
That Which Goes Untold
It was a warm morning, pink skies that of good fortune. The winds saw fit to season the air with salty spray as it kicked up from the oceans. It was undoubtedly fair weather for a boat of reasonable size to travel, and the fishermen were out in force, dotting the horizon. It was to such a sight that that Merlwyb drank from her cup some of the finest tea to be had from the imports. It was so fine in fact, she took to savoring the taste in much the same way she did everything in life.
To great extent, and even greater resolve to do so again in the future.
Yet as she did this, she was not alone in her thoughts. Someone else at her side also took to simple indulgences. Merely the prospect of rest, something that neither of them had been granted in recent days. Such exhaustion gave them both reason to pause, and offered a good excuse to turn in for the evening instead of joining the others in festivities.
The fact they were both women was one oddity of many…yet, it was not the strangest thing. It was that these women, both leaders to their own peoples, revered for their standing, were not willing to make their strange companionship a common truth among the streets.
Yet even stranger still, was that even between the two of them, their romance went onward ambiguously. It was not the first time Merlwyb thought about the ring in her drawer, it would not be the last. Yet, even the finest of gold, plundered from the depths of the bitter sea could scarcely depict her feelings. She doubted anything of mortal make could ever be perfect enough.
It didn't matter anyway, in spite of her grandest efforts, she would be turned down yet again.
Putting the unpleasant matter aside, she allowed herself the joyful reminder that even in spite of denial, her love was not case aside. Rather, it was cherished, so well protected, that even she was astounded by the magnificent secret. After all, though it was never said, Merlwyb felt as if maybe the word itself became meaningless. Lost to the both of them...tangled by the feeling itself.
She sipped her tea again, contented with merely that.
"The day will continue on, with or without you to greet it." She said slowly, her voice just barely above a whisper. "I never realized that the leader of Gridania could be so willing to forsake daylight."
"Even the sky grows dull eventually. When ones looks upon it enough to conjure the unspeakable truths of this world, then it becomes inevitable." Kan-E-Senna muttered sleepily. She was much too content to rest her head upon the finely crafted down pillows. She nestled further into Merlwyb's side. "However, resting beside you is quite the novelty as it were. I think I shall bask a moment longer, if I might be afforded the privilege."
"Be that as it may, we do have duties to attend, lest we forget." At that, she grinned a little, thinking of their other companion who would be none too pleased if they were to show up to deliberations late. "I hardly think it would do to leave everything to poor Nanamo. She is struggling with the social coup as it is."
"Spare me the political scandals, the entire matter is trite." Kan-E-Senna muttered with great disdain. "Can her people think of nothing but coin?"
"Can anyone put aside greed, when such a thing lingers at their fingertips waiting to be grasped?" Merlwyb shook her head. "Besides, it is not the politics that brings me worry, but rather, the war that wages beyond the safety of sight. We are powerless to help those that fall through the cracks, and Nanamo, most of all, feels the crushing weight of such burdens."
"We do these hopeful speeches too often for my liking." Kan-E-Senna rebuked, feeling as though something was amiss. "Too much death, too little time for reprieve. Even when we do try to comfort the ache within the hearts of the citizens, we are reminded of our true powerlessness. Then to put greed and bloodline in front of it, I have no words..." Then a thought came to mind, and with it, a great deal of shame. "I have nothing...I can do nothing...Nanamo seeks our aide, but I am unable to afford her even that much."
"I don't think you're wrong, but, I dare say that now isn't the time to berate yourself." Merlwyb frowned a little then, and with a shake of her head, she returned to her tea. "Then again, it may just be that I'm desensitized to the true depravity of war. As time goes on, I'm reminded of too many times I've seen such a thing. It is not a stretch to say that I am unable to feel despair for such a thing, sordid though it is."
Kan-E-Senna nodded despondently. "Yet when the war is over, the casualties are counted, and we are expected to lift the spirits of the people. We so soon forget, willing to sharpen another sword, and fire another arrow." Sitting upright, she did nothing to cover herself, even as she took to tending to her long flaxen tresses. "Despair would be a minor thing to feel, when one truly tries to understand the implication. The answers are staggering, and I for one am sick of it."
Merlwyb poured some tea into a new cup, and handed it to her good friend and lover. "Kan-E, listen to me. When there is nothing you can do, then there is nothing you can do. That is the ultimate truth of this world, even you should know that." Cupping a porcelain cheek, her thumb brushed against those soft lips. "Understanding that and moving onward, well dare I say it, that is fundamentally what makes the weak strong once more."
It was a soft glare, but one that held a hopeless anger none the less. "The longer I gaze upon this world, the harder it is to accept that."
"As it should be. That is the natural order of things." Merlwyb grinned, she had to remind herself that Kan-E-Senna had stopped aging long ago. She was merely a girl of sixteen years in appearance. Her mind was far older, far wiser than she appeared. Her age was in her eyes, ones that carried a deep gravity about them. Foresight and knowledge mixed so expertly in those blue eyes of hers, twisting around sadness like vines would a captor. "Yet, you are not alone. Come away with me, Kan-E-Senna. Take your place at my side, you know I wish it so."
It was with a shake of her head that Kan-E-Senna refused the offer. "You also know that I cannot." Even still, as she placed the tea onto the table at her side, she couldn't bring herself to part from the touch of the other woman. "I was born with a fate that dissuades me from such choices."
"Mayhap, it is as you say." Merlwyb still was not satisfied with that answer, just as she was unsatisfied with a great many things that were out of her control. "Padjal, like yourself, are children of the Twelveswood. You are, in many respects my dear, a goddess loathe though you are to think of yourself as such. Therefore, it is only natural to have you by my side. A strange desire, granted, but one in which I have no qualms admitting."
"You did so last night, did you not?" Kan-E-Senna murmured with all of the longing her heart held captive.
"I would do so again, fates permitting." Merlwyb told her as she parted herself from the warmth of her lover. "Alas, fate will continue to lash at me, as a cruel mistress. Just as the seas ripple with their own passing whims, much the same claim will be made to us. However, the tides are steadily bound by ebb and flow. Our lives are also the same."
"Perhaps then, fate is not so cruel after all." Kan-E-Senna decided, finding that simple truth enough to greet the day with her usual calm expression. "I should return to my own room, preferably before suspicions arise as to my whereabouts."
"Then I will see you at the feast later." Merlwyb nodded before a final passing thought came to mind. "I do expect that you will walk with me later along the docks...to inspect the cargo to be sent to Gridania, of course."
It was in that one pregnant pause that Kan-E-Senna found herself at a loss. As she dressed in the same gown she had intended to sleep in during the night she tossed a glance over her shoulder. "To inspect the cargo, you say?"
"Aye, the cargo." Merlwyb neared once more, pulling the girl into a backwards embrace. "The finest quality of goods, I assure you."
"You merely seek an excuse to be out on the water." Kan-E-Senna finally said, her arms crossing over Merlwyb's own.
"I do." The pirate said, unwilling to let go. "I wish you by my side. I will pay any price."
"Speak not a word to anyone. That is the only price either of us pays." Kan-E-Senna said as she turned to better embrace the female pirate, kissing her farewell. The sweetest brush of lips desiring to be something so much more. "I wish I could offer you more than these fleeting occurrence, yet, I am glad it is not less."
"May the winds be at your back." Merlwyb forced herself to say, her words strong by conviction alone.
"By the Twelve's grace, be guided to safety and fortune." Kan-E-Senna said, taking her staff into her hands. "Should you ever be lonely, know that I would always grant you a warm welcome. You need only to come."
Merlwyb merely grinned as Kan-E-Senna closed the door behind her. It was a love that told no tales. Bittersweet, tragic love, that had Merlwyb speaking out into the empty room...her words much like that of a prayer.
"You need only to say yes..."