A/N not mine, I own nothing.
Okay...this is a one shot that I needed to do after writing Chapter 23 of The Price to be Paid. The heavy subject matter gave me the need to write something more lighthearted. Rainbow Severus this ones for you. All I can say is Hairy Monkey Balls!
Bad Day Joe?
Today started off like any other day for Detective Joe Morelli. Stephanie's car had blown up the night before...again. He told her what he thought of her job and well, let's just say that it didn't end well. So, once again he was single.
While he was sitting at his desk in his office, he decided to give Terri a call. She was always up for some of the Italian Stallion.
"Hey, Baby," He said when she answered.
"Let me guess, Stephanie Plum dumped your ass again," she replied.
"Don't be like that. How about we go out for dinner tonight? We can go to that little bistro that you like much."
"Sure, Joe. Pick me up at six."
"Bye, Baby."
"Bye, Joe."
With his evening planned he got back to the case he was working on. He realized that he Rangeman would have to become involved. He knew his day was going to go downhill from there.
He went to the break room to grab a cup of black tar that they called coffee and as soon as he took the first sip, Big Dog ran right into him. The coffee spilled down the front of his shirt.
"Damn it! Watch where your going!"
"Whatever. So, I hear Stephanie and the man in black took off for Miami last night. Thought you two were together, or did you do something stupid again?"
"Shut the fuck up! She did NOT go anywhere with that thug."
"You may want to call her Mom, cause that's what she told Carl this morning. Doesn't look like they're coming back either."
"FUCK ME!"
He turned around and ran to his office; he had left his cell phone there. As he was running down the steps he tripped over his own two feet going down the steps.
He landed at the bottom with a resounding thud. His leg lay under him in an awkward position, with the bone sticking out and his pants torn. He hadn't bothered to wear underwear that day. Everything was hanging out.
Someone yelled to call for a bus, when he suddenly he heard a camera flash. He groaned, knowing that the picture would be all over town in a matter of seconds.
He was taken to St. Francis for treatment. He realized that Karma was a bitch and was biting back hard. He had hadn't been manscaping lately, and everything was hanging in the breeze.
Turns out that Bobby, was renewing some of his certifications and was doing a rotation in the ER to get them up to date.
He saw Bobby come in and just sighed; could this night get any worse?
"Morelli, can you tell me how your injury occurred?"
"I was running down the stairs and tripped."
Bobby just nodded his head at him and began to check him over; BP, Pulse pain level. He looked over his leg and informed Joe that the trauma surgeon would be in to speak with him.
Bobby was very professional; which surprised him. He thought things were looking up. When Bobby was leaving the room though, there was one last remark.
"Hey, I'm glad Bomber dumped our ass last night. She and Boss man are in Miami, and plan on getting married today. Don't think they're coming back to Trenton at all."
Bobby turned and walked out of the room with that parting shot.
Joe just sat there. He was in shock. His Cupcake was leaving him.
"SHIT!"
Just then Terri walked into his room, followed by Helen Plum, Carl, Eddie, and Tank. What the hell was Ranger's second in command doing here?!
"Joe, Rangeman has been contacted by the feds to take over the case you are currently working on. I am in charge of the Trenton office permanently now, so I need you to sign some papers, so that I can collect your files and all evidence." Tank immediately informed him.
Joe just nodded and signed the papers with Carl and Eddie as his witnesses. Tank grabbed them and left without another word.
The guys stick around, an they had little smirks on their faces. Something was up, but he couldn't put his finger on it.
"Joe, I wanted to stop by in person and tell you to never, and I do mean never, call me again. Uncle Vito will not be happy if you do." Terri stormed away with that.
"Joseph, how could you let her go with that thug?! I tried calling you all night and day! You need to fix this now!"
"Mrs. Plum Stephanie broke up with me last night. She left right after. I cannot do anything about it."
Helen pulled out the Burg glare and flew out of the room. Carl and Eddie were laughing their asses off at this point.
Carl pulled out his cell phone to show Joe a picture he had gotten. There, in all of their glory, were his boys for everyone to see.
Eddie spoke up. "The pic is captioned, Joe Morelli has Hairy Monkey Balls!"
They doubled over in laughter. Yup, Joe was having a bad day.