House: Series Finale
by malkshake
It was a usual day at Princeton Plainsborough. House had been an arrogant, emo prick to everyone that day like he usually does. It was now night time and House was packing up his many porn tapes and sex toys to go home. Little did he know that everyone was sick of his bullshit and had had a secret meeting that day. Cuddy, Cameron, Wilson, Chase, and Foreman had all met and decided tonight would be the night they would end House.
House didn't know this as he locked his door. But then he turned around and saw Cameron standing there with a gun. "Prepare to die, you bastard!" Cameron shouted at him. Luckily for House, he had been a insensitive bastard his whole life and had had many people try and kill him, so he knew how to deal with this shit. He snapped Cameron's anorexic body in half and she died. House laughed and carried on his way.
Next up was Cuddy, who was a little bit down the hall incase Cameron failed. "Hi House" she said to him "prepare to meet your doom". House was confused. "You don't even have a weapon" he said. "Oh hell yeah I do" Cuddy said. Then she grabbed House and shoved him into her cleavage in hopes of smothering him. But House knew Cuddy's one weakness - the fact that she was an old hag who hadn't had sex in several years. He kicked her in the vagina. "OOOH BABY THATS GOOD!" she screamed before exploding due to her huge orgasm. House just walked away to see who he would battle next.
Just then, Chase came skipping up to House. He was wearing a pretty see-through nightie with a lacy bra and panties. "Hi House!" he said in a queer voice "I won't try and kill you if you have sex with me". "Okay" said House. "Really?" Chase squealed, delighted. "And after that, maybe I could put my Australian/British/? dick in your mouth and you can suck it?" "You know it" said House. "Great!" said Chase, excited. He got down on his hands and knees, because we all know that he likes it doggy style. Chase grossed House out, so he took his cane and fucked Chase with that. "OOOH GOD OHHH THATS SO GOOD! HARDER! FUCK YES!" Chase shouted, about to have an orgasm. Then, for no reason, his cane came out Chase's right eye socket and he died. House had no idea how this was physically possible so he pulled his cane out and examined it. Then he just shrugged and walked away.
His next challenge was supposed to be Foreman, but he had left early because he had to go do some black stuff. So Wilson was in his place. "House" he said with a shit faced look "I'm not going to try and kill you, but I think you should be nicer to people". House didn't want to hear Wilson's shit, so he snapped the bastard's cock off. "YOU FUCKER! THAT WAS MY MOST PRIZED POSESSION!" Wilson was very pissed. Wilson charged at House but House dodged. Wilson then smacked House across the face in House kicked him in the shin. Wilson's crotch was bleeding really badly and Wilson soon died from blood loss. House just laughed at that like the sadistic prick he is and walked off knowing he was free.
But there was one thing House didn't count on. And that was Vogler coming back from the dead. "Oh shit" said House when he saw the fat bastard zombie looking really pissed. "That's right, bitch, I've come back from the dead to end your shitty life" and with that Vogler sat on House and crushed him. And that is how House died.
The end.