Disclaimer: As always, everything is based off of characters created by JK Rowling the Great.
Remus woke up with a start, wondering where he was. There was something in his mouth and a great weight was on top of him. He couldn't move his limbs either. He heard a chiming sound- a clock telling him that it was 3:00.
Remus let out a low groan. Now he knew what was going on. He was at Sirius' and had spent the last night celebrating the fact that Sirius had come into his inheritance and now had a fully-furnished flat by drinking with him and Marlene McKinnon. Not that he'd done much drinking, anyway; he'd left most of that to Sirius and Marlene. Judging by the way he felt now, complete soberness was not that far away. He had what would have been a nice buzz if there weren't something on top of him.
~oOo~ Flashback ~oOo~
"I'm going to go sleep on the coach," Remus got off the bed and announced as Marlene tried to stifle a yawn.
"No!" cried Sirius, a little louder than he'd intend. He beckoned with his empty glass. "You'll stay in here with us!" And with that Sirius' shirt came off, revealing the muscled planes of his upper body. Remus stared with his mouth agog, and Sirius lifted his eyebrows suggestively. Marlene reached out and put her arms around him.
"Please stay," she pleaded, her voice almost sounding like a purr. Remus looked down at her. She was resting her chin on his belt buckle and staring up at him with a look far more intimate than he deserved. "We'll behave. I promise." Marlene started rubbing her head against his abdomen.
During that exchange, Sirius stumbled over to the door and shut it firmly. He pressed himself against Remus' back and growled in his ear. "Bed. Now." Marlene laid down on her side, adjusting her flimsy dress as she watched Sirius reach around the other man and began to undo his belt.
"I-I-I can do that m-m-myself!" Remus sputtered, taking control of his own clothing. Sirius ran his hands over Remus' chest and whispered assertively, "Then do it!"
Letting go of his friend, Sirius made his way back around to the other side of the bed and moved in behind Marlene. He curled one arm up under his head and lazily wrapped the other one around her. She cuddled into him while caressing the spot where Remus would be.
After folding his pants- something he did no matter how drunk he was- and putting them and his wand on top of Sirius's dresser, Remus sat on the edge of the bed facing the door. In his mind, he was contemplating the easiest way to get out of the room without offending anyone. He felt the bed stir behind him and two shapely legs appeared on either side of his. Marlene hugged him from behind, slipping her hands under his shirt. He felt her leave a light kiss on the back of his neck, and shuddered.
You're not supposed to get aroused by your best friend's girlfriend! He thought desperately. Or your best friend! I have got to get out of here!
"Sirius?" Marlene said, once again using her purring voice. Her fingers were playing along the waistband of Remus' boxers, even as she addressed her boyfriend. "I don't think this young man wants to stay with us." Remus shifted uncomfortably. He wanted to stay and leave at the same time.
Maybe I could stay, and sneak out when they fall asleep? Remus postulated to himself, not sure how to process the feelings welling up inside him and blaming it on the firewhiskey.
"Oh?" Remus felt the bed shift again. Marlene giggled and she uncurled herself from around him. Remus tried to get up, but Sirius' strong arms engulfed him and pulled down onto the bed. Quick as a flash, Marlene straddled him, her short skirt barely managing to cover everything as it rode dangerously high up her thighs. She kissed Sirius and moved to hold Remus' arms down.
Sirius picked up his wand and- without a word- gave it a flick. Remus' was now bound to the bed, unable to move his limbs. Marlene moved off him and lay down beside him. She started toying with his shirt, but- with another way of Sirius' wand- it vanished. She let out a surprised cheep of glee and began using her finger to draw shapes on his lower abdomen.
Remus looked over at his friend. "Sirius," he said in a warning tone. "Put away the wand." Remus was down to one article of clothing, and he had no intentions of letting Sirius vanish that too.
"If you insist," Sirius said with an impish gleam in his eyes. The wand was dropped on the nightstand, but immediately picked back up. "Nox!" Remus heard a clatter, and assumed that Sirius was now bereft of his wand.
Although the lights were off, a dim illumination from the quarter-moon was able to invade in room through a small window. As his eyes adjusted, he saw that Sirius was now spooning Marlene, who was still toying with him. Sirius reached over the girl and ran a hand through Sirius' hair.
"Sirius?" Remus whispered in a tone that was sounded like he wanted more, but was too afraid of himself to ask for it. Marlene let out with a disgusted sigh and began writhing around ungracefully.
"I am not going to listen to him complain all night," she announced, struggling with something that involved moving her legs all akimbo. Remus realized with both horror and arousal that she was taking off her panties.
"What are you- ULK!" She'd just stuffed her panties into his mouth, much to Sirius' amusement.
Dropping a kiss on his bottom lip and smelling deliciously of firewhiskey, she whispered in a sultry tone, "Now, go to sleep, or else…" The or else seemed to imply something sexual because she brushed her hand along his shorts, lighting fluttering her fingers on something stiff.
Sirius gave a throaty chuckle as he rolled himself on top of Marlene. He licked Remus' bottom lip and repeated, "Yeah, or else." Then he gently bit the other man's lip while reaching down and giving Remus' member a quick squeeze. Remus made a noise through his gag, causing Sirius to laugh and roll back off of Marlene, who was now snuggled down between the two of them. She let out a delicious, "Mmmmm" as she settled in.
Sirius sighed sleepily as he reached across Marlene and let his hand fall to rest on Remus' stomach. Marlene whispered, "Good night!" and Remus heard the soft pucker of Sirius kissing the top of her head. He waited until the unruly pair's breathing evened out before daring to fall asleep.
~oOo~
He tried shifting his weight, but the thing on top of him moaned softly and moved with him. Turned out it was Marlene on top of him, and, in her sleep, rubbing herself against all the right places. As quietly as possible, he tried to spit out the underwear that was still in his mouth, but it would only cling to his dry tongue.
Remus felt her awaken and she groggily reached up a hand to caress his cheek.
"Shh," Marlene whispered, as if in a daze. "Shush. Go back to sleep." She kissed his neck, roughly forcing her tongue into the hollow, then nibbled the bone. Remus drew a quick breath.
"You like that," she said softly, sounding quite proud of herself, for breaching the barriers of the sexually aloof Remus Lupin was no easy task. With her hand on still on his cheek, she felt him shake his head quickly, even though other parts of his anatomy were telling her otherwise.
Sirius stirred, awakened by the movement on the bed next to him. He sat up, holding his weight on one arm and rubbing his eyes with the other. "What's he like?" Remus' eyes widened in the dark as he realized that his friend was still drunk.
"This!" Marlene announced, demonstrating again, giggling as the man beneath writhed in both pleasure and discomfort. He seemed to be trying to say something but Marlene shushed him again.
Remus felt more than saw Sirius move to roll Marlene off of him. He had a moment of gratefulness to his friend, but then Sirius himself mounted him. Remus groaned as Sirius settled himself in the exact position that Marlene had been in. But as Sirius was taller, the two were now face to face. Remus panicked slightly as he realized his friend would be able to feel his arousal, only to realize that Sirius felt happy to be where he was too.
Despite this, he tugged at his bonds in a vain attempt to free himself. Sirius put a finger to Remus' lips. He turned his friend's head sidewise and bent down. Remus closed his eyes and let out a breath as Sirius began kissing his earlobe. Sirius bit down, causing Remus' eyes to fly open again as he released a muffled cry. As the shadowy man above him began kissing down his neck, Remus' eyes landed on Marlene.
Marlene was sitting against the headboard, holding her knees to her chest. She was watching them hungrily, as if she wanted to join but wasn't sure where she'd fit. Her vision was locked on Sirius' neck, watching the sinuous muscles work as he was biting and sucking. As if realizing that Remus was looking at her, she turned her head enough to meet his eyes. Remus looked at his bonds, then back to her, his eyes pleading for freedom.
"Sirius?" Marlene called softly, picking up Sirius' long-forgotten wand. He looked up and gruffly nodded his head, punctuating his consent with a grunt. A wand-wave later, Remus' arms and legs were free.
He ripped the offended underwear out of his mouth, which, he barely registered, left the taste of cherries in his mouth. He sat up quickly and forcefully, making Sirius to rise with him, but he was not strong enough to push the other man off of him.
Sirius grabbed the back of Remus' head and pulled him in for a hungry, passionate kiss. Remus tried to get away, but he felt Marlene move in behind him. She started massaging his lower back just above the waistband of his shorts with a practiced skill. She began kissing his shoulders, warming the muscles with her wet mouth. He stopping fighting Sirius and melted into the kiss, opening his mouth for Sirius' tongue.
Sirius filled his mouth with the taste of stale whiskey, and Remus jolted to his senses again. He leaned sideways, plying himself away from both of them.
"Stop it!" he cried out angrily. His menacing tone made both Sirius and Marlene recoil, moving away from him so that he could storm off the bed to the dresser holding his pants. He pulled them on in, his movements jerky but determined. As he was fixing his belt, he looked at the pair on the bed. They were sitting in their best attempts at sobriety and looking slightly ashamed, as if waiting for the lecture they were sure was coming.
"This will not happen again," Remus asserted, still sounding angry as he picked up his wand. "In fact, as far as I'm concerned, it never happened. I'm not here- I was never here- and you two were drunk and fooling around." He pointed his wand at them. "Obliviate!"
In the moonlight, he saw their eyes glaze over. Then, the couple turned to each other and practically fell into each other's arms, not even realizing the he was there. Seeing their mouths locked as Sirius ripped apart Marlene's dress, Remus gave a quiet sigh of regret, then gave himself a quick shake. He quietly tip-toed out of the room and shut the door. With a -POP- he Apparated away, leaving the night to Sirius and Marlene.
A/N: As this is my forth post in three days, I hope this makes up for my sabbatical of many moons. This particular one-shot came to me this morning.