Disclaimer: I do not own Skins the TV show or anything else affiliated with it besides this fan fiction story. If I did, Freddie would not have been killed and the end of series 4, come on!
"Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I've got no soul to sell, Help me the only thing that works for me, help me get away from myself. I want to F*ck you like an animal. My whole existence is flawed, you get me closer to GOD. " Effy Stonem's ringtone blared Closer by Nine inch Nails from her mobile phone. Oh my God Effy thought, what time is it and why does my head hurt so much. She reached for her blaring phone. "Hello," she answered groggily. "Effy! Do you have any idea what time it is?! You were supposed to be her a half hour go to prep! "Oh my God Hilly I'm so sorry I think I overslept I will be there in twenty minutes …" "Make it fifteen!" Effy jumped out of bed barely paying attention to the guy next to her. She threw on some clothes put her hair in a bun, brushed her teeth and threw in some make-up. She ran downstairs and was greeted by Ripper her German Sheppard Chow mix. He was wagging his tail and begging to go out. "Oh my gosh Rip, I forgot all about our run this morning! I'll make it up to you!" she promised as she ran out the door. She wasn't usually this late, disorganized or hungover but last night had been and exception…
24 hours earlier…
Effy Stonem was fixing her cup of coffee to go and double checking her work bag to make sure she had everything in order. She glanced at the clock and smiled, she was ahead of schedule. She had gotten up early and had taken Ripper for a run like she did every morning. Then when she got home she took a shower, got ready for work and made herself an actual breakfast with eggs, oatmeal, and fruit. And now she had her coffee ready was heading out the door. "…" rang out from her mobile phone and Effy froze in her tracks. She answered the phone without looking at the ID. "Hello Cook," "Hey princess, how are you this morning?" "I'm alright" "Effy do you know what day it is?" Effy glanced down at her phone to look at the calendar and nearly dropped it. "I forgot! Omigod Cook I forgot, how can I forget?" Effy sank down to sitting on her concrete steps outside her townhouse. "Its alright love I remembered for the both of us." "But still Cook I told myself I'd never forget and here we are on the third anniversary and I forgot." "It'll be ok kitten I'm coming over to you and I'm bring provisions."
A few minutes later Cook showed up on Effy's front door step. The door was ajar so he went inside. "Ef! Effy you in here? Where are you?" "In here." Came a shaky voice. Cook walked into the living room to find Effy on the couch crying. "Ah princess, I didn't mean to make you cry." "You didn't I just can't believe it's been three years and I forgot the date," Effy answered. "Well I'm here now," Cook replied putting his arm around her, "And I remembered for the both of us and I also brought enough goodies to get us through the day." "Three years already since he went missing and still no news. It's almost like he's either really punishing us or we really finally have to come to the terms that he's never coming back, that hes…" "Effy don't say that, we'll find him I promise." Cook said, after all he loved him as well. Cook began pulling things out of his rucksack: a full bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey, a full bottle of Jose Cuervo tequila, a rather large bag of his uncle Keith's special blend (cocaine and heroin), and a hand full of spliffs. "You know," Cook said cautiously, "I've still been looking for him." Effy stared at him "And…?" she demanded. "And nothing," "Ef I'm so sorry" Cook said as he watched her face fall. "But despite all that today is a day to celebrate. Freds wouldn't have wanted us to mourn him like this. Plus I think we both need a little numbing. What do you say princess?" "Yeah I suppose," Effy answered glumly. "Ok then what should we start with ladies choice!" Cook said trying to sound enthusiastic for Effy's sake. "Shoot me up," Effy answered seeming a million miles away already, and Cook knew it would be a long night…
Back to present.
Effy Stonem rushed through the doors of her office building. She was late, oh God was she late but she hoped hilly had been able to stall their boss long enough so she could breeze in with an excuse about traffic or putting together the last details of the project. She knew no matter how much they had gotten done or how well they had prepared she would be winging it by at least 50%.
"Effy! There you are! What took you so long? Where have you been? I can't believe you didn't wake up on time you know how important this is!" Hilly scolded disapprovingly. "I know I'm sorry I'm here now, has he gotten here yet?" "Fortunately no, but he'll be here any minute so hurry up and help me get everything set up."
With her quick wit, charming personality, and uncanny ability to turn on any male in front of her Effy had landed herself a dream internship at Exquisite Advertising, one of London's most exclusive ad companies. Today she and Hilly Bishop, her intern partner were supposed to give an ad campaign presentation on a hot new line of sportswear. The presentation itself was finished but Hilly being an over organized hyper neurotic, had insisted they get to work early today to go over the presentation one more time.
Just as they had finished setting everything up their boss Rich Cornerstone strolled into the office talking on his bluetooth and carrying a steaming latte; sugar-free, half caf, hazelnut cappuccino, with a dash of soy milk, extra foam, with a light dusting of nutmeg on top. Effy knew this by heart of course because of all times she had been asked to bring him one. "Hello ladies," Rich said getting settled at his desk, "Are we all settled to present today?" "Of course Mr. Cornerstone!" Hilly gushed sycophant like. "Hilly you know to call me Rich, everyone else does!" Mr. Cornerstone (Rich) laughed at his own joke. "Right sir, of course." Effy and Hilly proceed along with the half hour presentation while Rich mm-hmm'd and nodded along while not so discreetly chancing glances down each of the girl's blouses. "Excellent presentation girls! Spot on!" Rich proclaimed. "Also," Rich continued "because you both did such an amazing job today I'd like to take you along to our office's awards gala tonight at the Plaza Hotel!" "Oh thank you sir! That is so gracious of you!" Hilly gushed. "Is there going to be an open bar?" Effy asked. "Effy!" Hilly yelped sounding scandalized. But Rich just chuckled and answered, "There is a bar attached to the Hotel called Silk, just have them put whatever you want on our tab."
Later that evening Effy was thinking about her day yesterday while she got ready for the office party. She and Cook had gotten way too close to serious trouble once again. She should have known by now to stay away for him he was nothing but trouble for her. Yesterday had been an exception however, it was the three year anniversary of Freddie McClair's disappearance. It was still hard on her. She had gone crazy when she was with him, so much so that she had slit her wrists open in an attempt to kill herself, if only to stop the monsters in her head. Still she had never in her life felt love like that, intense, beautiful, romantic, crazy, extreme, comforting, earth-shattering and life-changing. She remembered the first time she saw him, sitting in her father's when she noticed this quiet, adorably cute boy concerned for his friend while laughing at his friend's antics the whole time. The minute they locked eyes she felt it. He felt like coming home; she could tell right away he was the closest she would ever feel to being close. And she didn't know what to do with that feeling, it petrified her. And then the way he called her beautiful in class in front of everyone it took her breath away and shook her to her core. So she did what she always did when she was afraid, she played games and pushed him away as much as she could. But despite all her best efforts he broke through her impenetrable wall of ice and feelings. He broke through and changed her life forever. She was in love with him and him with her. But her mind was not strong enough to let her be happy and with Freddie making her blissfully ecstatic, and the monsters came back. No matter how hard she tried to keep them away they broke through because her love with Freddie had made her weak.
After ending up in hospital because of her attempt, she went through what she realized now was an intense form of brainwashing under the guise of therapy. Dr. Foster had not only cleaned her mind of bad memories but the good ones too. It had been awful, but with the help of Cook and a near death experience, she'd regained her memories including the fact that Freddie was the love of her life, her soulmate and most importantly her best friend.
She still missed him every day; it had been three years since his disappearance and it was still crushing her that she had forgotten the date. The most important date of her life. The day she and Cook "remembered" Freddie. It was the one day of the year she still allowed herself to get trashed beyond recognition. She still liked to party but the anniversary was the day she just didn't care she went crazy with her tribute to the love of her life.
Meanwhile
"Jack are you awake?" Jack Jones turned over in bed to see his fiancé Brenna Winston standing in the doorway of their bedroom. "I am now," he told her. "Omigosh I'm so sorry to wake you I just wanted to say goodbye before I left for work," Brenna said apologetically. "It's fine babe you know I always love to be awoken by you." "Aw, how did I get so lucky to find such a great guy?" "Well you saved my life for one," Jack replied. "Oh yeah that's right!" Brenna answered jokingly as she walked over to the bed to give him a kiss before work. "Are you working at the bar tonight?" Brenna asked. "Yeah I'm going to sleep a bit first though; but I do want to give you a kiss before you head out." She smiled and leaned down and kissed her fiancé. "I'll probably stop by after work," she said. "Sounds good," he answered. Brenna got up and started walking out of the bedroom. "Bren?" Jack called out stopping her before she could walk through the doorway. "I love you," "I love you too Jack Jones." Jack smiled to himself as he fell back to sleep.
Later that day Jack Jones got ready for work and headed to the bar Silk where he was the bartender. He was very grateful to Chet, Brenna's uncle to hire him when he had no memory let alone experience working in a bar. Thankfully though Jack picked it all up quickly and was now Chet's assistant manager. Jack knew it was a simple life but still he was proud of how far he'd come. Three years ago Jack was found beaten nearly to death on the side of the road by George Baily on his morning jogging route. George had called the ambulance immediately. Jack was rushed to hospital and was put into the Intensive Care Unit, where he remained for three weeks. Jack was close to death and needed immediate surgery to stop the internal bleeding. He was in surgery and it was touch and go for nearly twenty hours, but by some miracle Jack survived, but he had a long road to recovery ahead of him. After the three weeks in ICU Jack was moved to the second floor rehabilitation wing. It was on this floor in room 202 where he'd met his fate in a beautiful young nurse named Brenna Winston.
Jack loved Brenna because she was sweet and funny and she'd really been the only one fighting for him, fighting with him, pushing him to get better one small step at a time. She was patient and kind, and he was grateful for her, he loved her, he'd asked her to marry him. Of course her eyes lit up when she saw the ring and quickly said yes kissing him and jumping around excitedly. Jack thought this should feel like the happiest moment of my life but something felt empty and he didn't know why that was, but then suddenly a picture, a scene flashed through his mind: He was in beautiful blue water and he looked up to see the most beautiful brunette dive in to the water and swim to him but when she reached him, everything went dark and then sort of faded back to reality. "Jack, are you ok?" Brenna had asked looking worried. "You still want to marry me?!" She asked worriedly "What? Of course Brenna I'm sorry I think I was just nervous about the proposal and now that you've said yes, I guess I just spaced out a little." "OK…" she answered still a little unsurely.
But the thing was after that scene had flashed through Jack's mind he couldn't stop thinking about the beautiful brunette. He dreamed of her at night: they danced in clubs, they shared drugs, the shared other things… The only problem Jack wasn't sure what she meant or who she was. Was she a memory or was she just s dream his mind created as a stressor from the proposal? All Jack knew for sure was that Brenna was a sweet girl and he loved her. He wasn't going to destroy what they had based on a possible dream memory of a girl that probably never existed anyway.
Jack got to Silk around 5 o'clock and started setting up for the night. Apparently there was some kind of small corporate party the bar was hosting tonight so Jack knew he had to be extra thorough and make sure all the work got done just right. After all Chet was counting on him and Chet counting on him meant Brenna was counting on him.
Elsewhere…
Effy Stonem was dressed to the nines in a short form fitting black dress, with lace on the chest and sleeves, with an open back. She had on three in heels with velvet straps that wrapped around her ankles. Her hair was piled on top of her head with soft tendrils of her hair draping lightly around her face. She had simple pearl earrings and glass flower ring for her accessories . She finished putting on her last coat of lipstick and smiled in the mirror at herself. She still looked youthful and sexy and every bit as beautiful as she always was. She grabbed her purse and headed out the door. As she got to her car she paused and thought about last night. She and Cook had come way too close to losing it all again last night. Effy was trying so hard to get her life back in order and although last night had of course been an exception to normal reality; she really had to consider the consequences if they had taken things too far last night. One of them could have ended up hurt, in hospital, or God forbid even.
Effy shuddered as she opened the driver's side door. She was not going to party that hard ever again even if it was the anniversary of Freddie's disappearance. A few minutes later Effy arrived at the Plaza Hotel and walked in through the bar Silk. She spotted Hilly, Rich, and a couple more executives from her company so she made her way through the bar to join them. "Effy!" Rich called, "I'm so glad you could make it! You remember Tom from marketing and Joshua from sales, and these are their wives Evelyn and Jessica!" "Jenica," one of the ladies next to him said. "Jenica? Right Jenica! Well, Jenica, Evelyn, I'd like you to meet Effy Stonem, our other star intern this year!" Rich said beaming at Effy. "Its a pleasure to meet you both." Effy said shaking their hands. Effy glanced across the room and noticed a bartender looking at her. He had a different haircut and looked a little older and stronger, but there was no denying it was him. "Freddie..." Effy whispered and then everything went dark and it felt as if the floor was coming up to meet her.
Meanwhile
"Jack we need a refill on Keg 2! You wanna head to the back and grab it?" Chet hollered to Jack at the register. "Sure thing," Jack answered and headed out back and grabbed another Keg but on his way in he nearly dropped it. She had just walked in and she was so much more beautiful in real life than she had been in his dream. She walked into the Hotel lounge area and met a group of people she seemed to know and began talking with them.
Jack could not believe she was real, and more to the fact Jack felt like he knew her in real life. He didn't know how or why but it was like suddenly he just knew he knew he. He could feel himself remembering her. Her smile, her laughter, her tears, her kisses. "Jack! What are you doing? Get that over here!" Chet called to him. Jack hurried over shaking his head of the feelings or memories or whatever it was that was happening to him when he looked at that girl. He set the keg up and looked out over the bar hoping for a glance at her but he couldn't seem to find her. He sighed to himself and was just about to go back to work when he caught her eye across the room and it all came back to him like a ton of bricks; the feelings, the memories, the heartbreak, the passion, and the undeniable love. "Oh Efffy..." Freddie whispered.