Hi! My name is Alexandria Cilath Lemon Riddle but don't call me Alexandria cause if you do I'll hunt you down and kill you with my twin blades. I have long, (but not whore long) silver hair reaching my tight ass, my eyes are black as ebony and my pouty lips are ruby pink. I'm really pale, short and skinny but with curves in all the right places. My dad is Lord Voldemort and he has been training me since I was little to assassinate people he needs dead. Today my task will be to kill someone.

"Alexandria!" My father yelled, he's the only one that gets to call me that. "I have a task for you!"

"Coming Father!" I grabbed my wand and checked the mirror one last time before leaving my dark room. I wink at myself for latter.

"Alexandria!" Lord Voldemort is sitting on his throne, his feet propped up on that rat guy. He's breathing heavily, I think he likes it. "I have an assignment for you!"

I kneel in front of father, a position I'm used to, and bow. I haven't been used in weeks, I will enjoy the exercise.

"Yes my lord. Who shall die tonight?" Rat man wheezes in the background.

"None, for now. This assignment is more serious than a simple homicide. This shall take time."

"Well what is it?" I ask impatiently, Rat man's breaths whistle through his buck teeth. His eyes rolled back into his head.

"It has come, the time to take out my young rival once and for all!" There's a dramatic pause. Rat man is now humping the ground. Gross, people eat there. "Harry Potter!"

I hiss at the name, a behavior I have been taught via hypnosis. My father is a micro manager.

"It shall be done," I take out my twin blades with enthusiasm, the thought of blood making my thighs clench in anticipation.

"NO. This will not be a normal mission. You must..." Rat guy suddenly went slack, quivering a bit. "Pettigrew! Change your pants this instant! The things I tolerate I swear."

Pettigrew shuffled out from under Father. "Yes master, sorry master, thank you master!" and left. With the rat gone, likely to take a shower, I could finally ask Father about this unique mission without any unsanitary interruptions.

I turn back seeking to continue our conversation only to see Father spacing out. "Father, Father. Lord Voldemort?" I look where he's looking to see him staring at the fading Ratman's swaying jigglies. Mother of god, kill me now.

I awkwardly cough to gain my fathers attention. He turns his bald turgid head towards me blushing a light gray at being caught. "You didn't see anything."

"See what?"

"Good girl." He regained his evil composure and began to explain my mission. "Your job will to be to infiltrate Hogwarts and gain the trust of one Harry Potter. Once you have gained said trust you must find his weaknesses and report back to me instantly."

"It shall be done."

"There will be strict rules concerning this however. One, do not kill people. Two, no making real friends. And three, absolutely no falling in love!"

"No need to worry Father, I can- wait! No killing!? That's so not fair! It's the only thing I find joy in anymore!"

"We can't have any suspicion brought to us. Thorough investigations of murders among the student populace would surely bring that bloody school into lockdown."

I look down, in turmoil. To indulge my blood-thirst would only bring about failure to this mission. I could last a week.

"You will be gone for six months starting this coming September."

My blackened, pruny heart sinks. There's no way I can do this. There has to be another way to please my father's rivalry with the Potters. Another way that includes maybe a butchery here and there.

"I have already sent a private jet to pick you up immediately,"

My mouth dropped. Not just the absence of my fangs sinking into a pesky wizard's neck, but no warning?

"You have ten minutes to pack for your assignment. Be sure to bring your wizarding essentials. And remember, NO FRIENDS. NO LOVE. And absolutely NO DEATH."

Not even a wet, naked Pettigrew in the corner of my eye distracted me from the limited time my father has given me for this ridiculous request. I groaned yet accepted my duty, for it is way better than the demand to disguise as a muggle to study their wretched life for a whole year. Although it was suspicious that he seemed ecstatic to be alone with Pettigrew when that rodent was going through his rat hormonal stage of ovulation. Hmm.

I stood from my kneeling position and trudged to my cave shaped door swinging my ass to accentuate my flowing silver hair.

"And remember Lexxipoo,"

I spun around angstily, piercing my father with my solid yet sparkily silver eyes.

"Ah-he-hem." He cleared his throat, recognizing his fault. "Alexandria Cilath Lemon Riddle... remember something very important. More important than the mission itself."

I prepared myself, the intensity of his determination in me was obvious.

"Get me one of those butterbeers will you? You know I've been meaning to try one for decades." He grinned, twirling his wand in his hand like a little kid. "You know, when you're not busy or anything."

I narrowed my eyes at him in disbelief. How could this so called Lord be such a fucking dumbass?