Title: A Life Worth Living

Author: Beth Pryor

Rating: T

Summary: Kevin faces his past and forges a future he can be proud of. Not exactly the way we saw it, but how it maybe should have gone...started before season 2, so really not very much canon at all.

A/N: This is my first time doing anything of this sort, and of course, like always, I don't own anything or anyone but would appreciate hearing from you.

Chapter 1

"Kevin?"

He heard his name and the familiar voice, but it couldn't be her, could it? He turned to look back. She was standing in the aisle, hands on hips, head slightly tilted to the right. She was smiling. It was definitely her.

"Kevin Girardi, I never thought . . . ," she paused, "It's been a long time."

He could barely breathe as he continued to stare up at her. The hair was shorter, and definitely a different color, she had been working out, too. She looked good, damn good. All he could say was "Hi, Beth." What was he going to do now? He had just wanted to go to a game. That had been hard enough by itself, but to run into her-unbelievable. He couldn't just leave. He'd have to talk to her. He had imagined this moment for more than two years. He had planned exactly what he would say, yet his mind was suddenly blank. He could find no words.

Seeming to sense this, she began, "So how have you been?" She could tell he was uncomfortable, but she had been so excited to see him. She couldn't let them cross paths for the first time in two years one month and seventeen days go without at least saying hello. However, she knew that much more than "hello" needed to be said.

He was so rattled he hadn't noticed that she was twisting her sunglasses in her hands and then she toed the ground with her left shoe. She was as uneasy talking to him as he was to her. But she had guts. You'd have to give her that. She could have just walked away, left things as they were, yet she had called his name. Maybe it was a reflex, an impulse, but now they were talking. Sort of. She was staring at him now. Of course she was staring. She hadn't seen him like this. Well, maybe she should take a picture, because it would last longer.

"Kev, are you ok?"

He snapped quickly back at the sound of her voice. She had been talking, and he had completely spaced out. "What?" he replied. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine, just a little surprised to see you. What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was in the area and thought I'd catch the game. A friend of mine was just called up by the Mariners, and I wanted to be here in case today was his debut, but he didn't get to play."

"Yeah, well it was a really great day for a game, huh?" He had to get out of there, now. "It was really nice to see you again, but I should be going." He turned to head in the opposite direction.

"Kevin, please don't run away from me." She was almost pleading.

His back was still turned toward her but he had not moved forward when he answered, almost inaudibly, "Why shouldn't I? That's exactly what you did." The crowd around them had begun to thin. He eyed the exit sign, and tried to move in that direction.

She was in front of him now, and she placed her hands on the chair's armrests, blocking his way. "We have to talk, you know that we do. I didn't mean for this to happen here, but I didn't mean for any of this to happen." On the second "this" her right hand made a sweeping motion over him from left to right. She stood to her full height, not that it was much more than five feet, but she seemed to tower over him. "Would you please have dinner with me?" She looked hopefully at him.

The last thing he wanted was to sit down with her and bring up the past. It was behind him, right? He'd spent all this time not thinking about her, them, and how perfect life should be. Obviously she needed to deal with what had happened. He told himself he was fine. Clearly. That's why his hands were shaking so badly that he had to place them in his lap so she wouldn't see.

"I really have to be getting back home, but maybe another time," he looked away from her face as he tried to convince himself that was the answer he wanted to choose.

"Kevin, you know there won't be another time if we don't air this out right now. You know we have to talk."

"Then why haven't you called in over two years? Why haven't I seen you or heard from you, not even a goddamned get-well card?" he spat.

The few who remained from the crowd were starting to stare. "Please," she asked, "Let's not do this here. Let's go somewhere else. My hotel?"

Before he could answer, she stuffed a piece of paper in his shirt pocket. "That's the hotel and room number. Meet me in half an hour." With that she turned and faded into the crowd filing out of the ballpark. His mind was racing. He picked up his phone and pressed a number.

"Hey, I'm going to stay in the city for a few more hours, maybe for a while. I just realized that there is something I have to do." He stopped for the voice on the other end of the line to reply. "Everything is fine," he lied.

TBC