To my dearest love,

Today is the day of the summer solstice. The last day before the days begin to shorten and nights begin to get cold. Winter will be upon us before we know it. The children I tend to are enjoying their last few days of summer before their days are spent inside.

A lot has happened since you left. But all I can think about were our first memories together. How we first met. Of course we were far from love at first sight. I was a princess where we came from and quite honestly my head was stuck in the clouds. You were the son of the army commander. Your only concern was to inherit that great sword of your fathers. Even I, in my sheltered youth knew about the Banryu.

As a child the stories of the Banryu frightened me. The legendary demon blade that offered a deal to all its wielders. More often than not it demanded the sacrifice of human and demon lives before submitting its ultimate and undefeatable power. Your father submitted his sacrifices and it made him a great commander. During my brief moments around him all he talked about was raising his son, you, to be the greatest warrior the world have ever seen. I doubt that becoming Japan's most notorious mercenary was what he had in mind.

Do you remember the day our father's assigned you to lead my personal guard? Of course, you would, that was when everything started. That first day I fought with my father about the decision. I did not want the only soldier who didn't pay me any attention to be in charge of my protection. I wanted Chan. Or perhaps Yuri. Both of less noble family names however spent as much time flirting with me as you did training. I was only fifteen years of age, still waiting for my first blood and womanhood to arrive.

I couldn't wait for the season of light flirting and private kisses. One man after another until my father chooses a suitable man for me to marry. Whoever he deems best political match. I had accepted my role in my father's world. It was the role of being his oldest daughter just like it will be my brother's to succeed my father when the time comes. There wasn't a thought in my mind about anything more political than a marriage. I had no idea that there was a war coming our way from across the south sea.

My father knew. Your father knew. You probably knew. Someone could have told me but I probably wouldn't have cared. I was fifteen and the world was mine to own. Even if there was a war there could be a potential marriage for me involved. I was so selfish back then. Sometimes I wonder how you could have ever fallen in love with someone like me. So absorbed with my own prospect of marriage I couldn't see the world around me.

It was the beginning of spring, six full moons before my sixteenth name day, when my father, brother, your father and, of course, you told me that I would be sent north for my protection. I had hoped that I would be sent to the emperor's palace, where I could flirt with his eldest son who was only a little younger than you. But then my father informed me that it won't be the emperor's palace, but my uncle's. His power equal to my father's only north and inland.

I barricaded myself in my quarters after hearing the news, hoping that perhaps my temper tantrum would force my father into reconsidering the location in where I could shamelessly flirt, particularly with the emperor's heir. You did not have the patience for my sulking. The next morning, when I had every intention of going about my usual business. You however, barged unceremoniously into my room, ignoring the fact that I was still in my sleeping kimono, and opened my closet. My father stood at the door looking uncomfortable. I screamed and whined while you packed a bag of my simplest kimonos. Before turning and throwing my riding cloths into my arm. "You can complain all you want, your highness," you had said. "But I have a job to do and that's to protect you. Now get dressed and be quick about it. Your horse is waiting and so are we. We have a long way to go and not a lot of time to get there."

As you would remember I did not take that well. In fact it took screaming, shouting, my nursemaid and two servants to get me calmed down, dressed and outside of the stables. My mare was, as you said, saddled and loaded with the bag you packed for me. Joining the guard and our fateful ride north was your best friend Jakotsu. Jakotsu scared me more than the stories of your Banryu ever did. He was not like the other soldiers. He was much like the blade he wielded. A snake. He slithered in and out of the shadows of the palace, never really being seen.

I always felt like Jakotsu was a woman in a man's body. A crazy, more than slightly sadistic woman, but a woman nonetheless. I'd never once seen him look at a woman you, or Chan or any other man had. But the way I caught him looking at you, or some of the other soldiers were more than endearing. It was like he had his own kind of love. But for a man to love another man like a man loves a woman I believed was unnatural at the time. The idea is still hard for me but I have come to accept it as a part of Jakotsu's life.

Along with you and Jakotsu were three other soldiers I knew were as talented as Chan and Yuri but have never met personally. I'm guessing that was why you chose them. You didn't want your squad getting distracted by my love for attention. You wanted them focussed. Not that I was in the mood to flirt anyway. I had absolutely no intention of letting this trip be easy on you. As you would recall I whined and stalled the entire first day. I believe we only made it half as far as you wanted to when sunset came and we stopped camp. You had your revenge when you refused to set up my tent and told everyone else to ignore my demands.

Despite my poor attitude I got the hint. I struggled to set up my tent but refused to grace the rest of you with my presence. I'm not entirely sure you cared though. You had your own agenda. Your own plans. I ate nothing and slept very little. When you woke me up at the crack of dawn I was tired, hungry and far from a good mood. Again, you didn't care. We packed up our things, I was fairly slow, and went on our way.

This time you seemed to have a plan in mind for keeping us going at your pace instead of mine. After mounting my mare you strapped my legs to the stirrups, took the reins from my hands and mounted your own horse and led mine. I protested. Shouted. Screamed. Called you names that I now regret. Eventually I quieted after finally realizing that not only were you not listening but you didn't care. You were the perfect soldier. And yet the Banryu you inherited after your twentieth name day remained wrapped and strapped to your back. It was like you were afraid that you didn't disserve the heirloom.

Making up for lost time you didn't stop the party for anything until the three soldiers I didn't know spoke up about needing a break. It was well into the night by then. It was the longest I've ever ridden and I was more tired than anyone else. Or so I wanted to believe. I didn't have the energy to set up my tent so I merely through my blankets into a sort of nest and fell asleep immediately. You forced us all into another early morning start and I could barely move. I didn't bother complaining this time. It wouldn't help. You wouldn't listen anyway.

We rode hard again on that third day but we stopped at sunset like the first night. I managed to set up my tent and collapsed again. After some time of silent crying you joined me in my tent. You would recall that I sat up and tucked myself into the corner of my tent. You sat down and handed me a bowl of stew and rice. "We need to come to a truce." You said in a cold voice. "I don't like tying you to the horse but I was serious when I told you that we don't have a lot of time to get to your uncle's home."

I eyed the bowl carefully but didn't answer for a long time. My thoughts were jumbled. I was still absorbed in my selfish ways. "I don't want to go." I said stubbornly.

"I understand that, your highness." He said urgently. "But the fact of the matter is that you're in danger if you don't go and I'm under orders to get you there safely."

I wouldn't put it passed you not to notice the smirk that spread across my lips as I finally began to eat. "I'll make you a deal, Bankotsu." I said slowly. "I will cooperate with you but there will be some conditions we need to work out."

You smirked as well. "No, no, princess, you don't understand. My boys can go another two weeks at the pace we're going. You can go maybe another day or two. You won't say anything at first because you have this stubborn kind of strength not a lot of women have. But eventually you'll beg me to stop. And I'll oblige. But then you'll be doing all the grunt work we've divided up amongst ourselves."

I know that by then whatever smile remained on my face was gone. I had not expected this at all.

I'm not asking for much. Not asking you to collect firewood or cook or care for the horses. Just keep that loud mouth of yours shut. Make your own camp, tear it down and keep up with us. We'll go at a slower pace so you can have a rest. Your legs will go stronger over time. And, who knows, by the time we get to your uncle's we'll be able to return. This time you'll be in a carriage. Comfortable and surrounded by people who are willing to take care of your every need. Sound good."

I took a deep breath, glared at you, and you raised an eyebrow. I let the breath out and I nodded. "Fine." I snapped. "But I'm not happy about this."

"Didn't expect you to be." He shrugged before crawling out of the tent.

I hated the idea of being controlled by a mere soldier. You were nothing but a guard dog and now you thought you were running my life. It was a big change for a spoiled brat like me. And yet there was some kind of excitement knowing that you controlled everything from when I got up to when I go to sleep. You were a much more exciting version of my father. Perhaps that was the beginning of my fascination with you. You were something, no, someone who I could never have.

I cherish these memories of us, my love. It is the planting of a seed that has slowly grown into the love we share. I miss you with every fibre of my being. My masters surely wonder where the father of my child is. I don't think they believe that you are who I told them you were. But they rarely speak to me unless it concerns their children, children who I must return my full attention to. Until the day when you return to my life and with all the love in the world;

Mayako